Batwoman #22

Nobody let Jim Shooter see this cover! Unless you want him to have a stroke. Then by all means, give him a copy!

Batwoman is a consistently well-written and well-drawn comic book, so it's a gigantic pain in my ass. It presents next to no opportunities for dick jokes and rants about poor editing. I fucking hate this comic book.

Last issue was all about Killer Croc so I don't remember what was happening with Batwoman. I think she and her entire family were starting a detective agency so that they could figure out Batman's secret identity. I bet the first move is to infiltrate Wayne Enterprises since Batman is so closely tied to Bruce Wayne! Or maybe infiltrate Arkham!

Alaska and not Wayne Enterprises? That might be my worst guess ever!

That was the first panel of the comic. The final two panels of the first page show Batwoman and Hawkfire trudging through a snowy forest. Is this about Batman's identity or just another random mission for the DEO? This is a good example of why I began this blog. Because last issue was about Killer Croc, I haven't been clued in to what was happening in Batwoman's story (although, sure, I could read Batwoman #20's commentary to catch up). I don't know if the reason why they're in Alaska was explained earlier or if it'll be explained later. One of reasons I hated reading monthly comics as I got older was being thoroughly confused for the first few pages until the comic either explained what was happening or I would eventually get enough information out of the book to kickstart my memory.

Whatever is happening, that's a pretty dope or sick or sweet or radical or literally amazing picture of Director Bones up there.

It appears right now, they're hunting Bane for some reason.

I'm still confused! I'm hoping for a 24 hours earlier box!

Batwoman eventually gets him tied to a tree with something called Python Coil, courtesy of the D.E.O. And then she begins the interrogation. I suppose they have one question: WHO IS THE MOTHERLOVING BATMAN?!

Batwoman's question is this: How do I defeat Batman? Bane's answer is that only Bane can defeat Batman! But he also manages to point out that if perchance Batman were really, really exhausted and maybe if Batman were tricked in some way, well, it's possible someone other than Bane could defeat him. But not likely! Batwoman thanks him and leaves.

I don't know, Batwoman captured Bane fairly easily. Sure, he didn't have any Venom pumping through his veins. But still! He was hogtied in three pages! She broke Bane; I think she can break Batman!

After questioning Bane, Batwoman sends Maggie Sawyer into Arkham to question a bunch of other Bat-villains about The Bat. She questions Black Mask, The Mortician, Fright, and Professor Pyg. I only recognize Black Mask although Professor Pyg seems familiar! Probably because so many nutbags love to wear pig's head masks.

The consensus? He's a robot that loves kicking ass.

Meanwhile Jakob Kane is training Bette (Hawkfire!) to infiltrate the D.E.O. so she can break out Jacob's daughter Elizabeth (Black Alice! Unless it's just Alice!?). This is the back-up plan to freeing Elizabeth by learning Batman's secret identity because what are the fucking odds that that is going to happen? The whole training section feels like one of those pilots for a new sitcom that airs within an episode of a current sitcom. Bette is trained by The Murder of Crows, Jacob's gang of cliché tough guys! I expect DC's next War Comic to be Murder of Crows which will star this bunch of Magnificent Seven wannabes.

And then Batwoman is ready to lure out Batman with a plan of her own that she's formed from the information she got from his enemies. But that plan won't be revealed until next month. Unless there is another Interlude next month!

Batwoman #22 Rating: No change. This issue felt like more of an interlude than the Killer Croc issue! Not a whole lot happened here. Bette and Kate caught Bane. Kate interviewed some crazies with Maggie. Bette beat up a bunch of old men while training. The Murder of Crows got their pilot issue to see if the readers are interested in a comic book about these guys. And Director Bones got in a little fishing. And I didn't get to make a single dick joke.