Nightwing #24

At the end of last issue, Zucco gave Nightwing a choice: team up with him or watch Chicago burn. Hmm. Looks like we know Dick's decision!

I just spent a few days in Las Vegas, my lips are super chapped, and I can barely speak. So I guess I'll read a few comic books to decompress.

Being that Nightwing was in the middle of a story when he was kidnapped by The Crime Syndicate over in Forever Evil, I'm sure they'll finish that plot up here before heading to Nightwing's Zero Year episode next month. After that, maybe Dick will be free from the grasp of his Earth 3 Bestie and allowed to continue with his own life. Hopefully in Gotham. Can we please leave Chicago far behind for a very long time now? Besides, DC, it's weird when you decide to have real cities next to their fake cities. Isn't Central City supposed to be a Chicago or Indianapolis analog? Was Coast City supposed to be Seattle? As a student of DC Comic Book Geography, I might just be at the bottom of the class. The only student beneath me is DC Comics themselves. I still can't believe Green Lantern flew over Detroit while heading from Gotham to Metropolis way back in Justice League #1.

Nightwing and his new sidekick, Finally Apprehended for Murder Boy.

Tony Zucco explains that The Prankster isn't some revolutionary out to change the city or to bring down unethical politicians or to feed stupid homeless people that aren't smart enough to have homes. It's simply about a son that lost his dad and now has severe Super-Villain Causing Daddy Issues. The Mayor and his brother killed an engineer that they had worked with on Halloween and the man's son found him dead on the lawn. The son was wearing a Prankster outfit. Too bad the man didn't have a daughter so that Nightwing could be battling a sexy construction worker right now.

I think I met a stripper super villain in Vegas this weekend. She told me her name was Princess Unicorn Pants and for $25, she'd stab me in the face and choke me. All that for $25?! How could I refuse! I wonder if that's why I can barely speak now? It could also be the cause of my spontaneous loss of depth perception.

It is nice to finally have a Daddy Issue Header for this blog since 95% of DC's characters are motivated by them.

"Where's Mommy?"

Tony Zucco points out to Nightwing that tonight is Halloween and that everybody is going to die. Are kids allowed to Trick or Treat in Chicago since they have a no masks policy? I suppose they can still go as somebody who doesn't wear a mask. Which, metaphorically speaking, leaves no costumes to choose from.

The Prankster sets the Mayor loose with the means to stop a bomb that will level part of the city. But he drops him off in a neighborhood filled with people that would like to kill him for the damage he's seemingly caused the city. I suppose that could be any neighborhood, actually. But The Prankster makes sure it's a neighborhood with people rough enough to feel no qualms hitting a guy in the face with a baseball bat. Luckily for the Mayor, Nightwing and Finally Apprehended for Murder Boy come to the rescue.

I'm almost certain Finally Apprehended for Murder Boy's battle cry is "Say you like dick! Say it! SAY IT!"

Nightwing stops the mob and sends the Mayor off to safety with FAM Boy while Nightwing runs off to stop the bomb. Thankfully The Prankster put the bomb on a subway car so it can easily be moved and dropped in the harbor. Nightwing rides the train to its destination (because he needs to be there to throw some Batarangabombs at the bridge over the harbor), jumps from the train at the last second, swims away from the blast, and climbs back on dry land just in time to be choked by Princess Unicorn Pants The Prankster.

Instead of choking to death, Nightwing decides to save himself by having Finally Apprehended for Murder Boy show up in the nick of time to shoot The Prankster in the back. Great plan, Dick Grayson! The second part of Nightwing's plan is to leave the scene before the police get there because who wants to deal with a misdemeanor fine of wearing a mask in the city? He leaves Finally Apprehended for Murder Boy to deal with the aftermath and take the credit for shooting The Prankster and saving the city.

Fine. So he doesn't take any credit. He just takes it like a good Sidekick would. There may be hope for him yet! But not for his son who will become a major Super Villain when he gets older because his father wasn't there for him.

Dick Grayson heads back to his apartment to tell his roommates that the reason he came to Chicago has come to a resolution and he's ready to head back home to Gotham City.

Oh Goddammit!

Foul temptress! Don't tell him a story that equates to Dick Grayson having found Chicago to be his new favorite place! I hate you, Joey the Roommate! You're the worst character in The New 52 so far! And while I can't remember most of the worst characters I've hated, I'm still fairly confident that I'm making an accurate assessment of your suckitude. I hope this apartment has a large enough refrigerator for you!

Meanwhile, Tony Zucco probably isn't going to jail even if he wants to because The Mayor and his lawyers want him free. So they make his family disappear so that he doesn't have a son to worry about anymore and put him back to work.

Double Meanwhile, Dick's other roommate Michael has a friend that wants to keep Chicago free of heroes. He believes Nightwing will bring Gotham's madness to it and he's prepared to stop it "by any means necessary." And "by any means," he means putting on his Ghostwalker costume and kicking Dick's ass out of Chicago. So he's got my support!

Nightwing #24 Rating: -1 Ranking. Every issue that Dick is still in Chicago, I'm going to subtract a rank from the comic book. Dick Grayson had better hope his future adventures in Chicago are super extra duper fun to counteract the automatic drop in ranks each month!

Nightwing #23

Why is there an indoor arena Jumbovision screen hanging over an outside ballpark? Are they playing BASEketball?

For any readers out there that suffer from migraines, here's a tip to help recover that you won't hear from a doctor. You don't need any medication. Get a nice big towel. Spread it out on the bed in a dark, cool, quiet room. Lie back on the towel. Get as relaxed as the pain will allow. Then masturbate. The blood will move from your head and you'll likely pass out immediately afterward. You'll wake up feeling refreshed and better than you've ever felt. That feeling better than ever isn't a side effect of the masturbation. It's that feeling that all migraine sufferers know very well. It's the feeling of once again not feeling like porcupines are wrestling behind your eyeballs. It's the feeling of a second chance at normalcy!

That was serious advice. Seriously. Of course that's just the way to take care of a migraine once you have one. The only way to stop getting migraines once and for all is to take a good, long look at your life and figure out what is best for you. Most migraines are caused by people trying to adapt to society's normal forty hour nine to five work week. I'm an owl as opposed to a lark and trying to be a lark resulted in severe migraines a few times a month. But once I quit any semblance of a day job and have not used any sort of alarm clock for the last eight years or so, I only get migraines when I don't eat properly and really fuck up my sleep schedule. That means maybe once or twice a year now. Although I do still suffer from the occasional sinus headache. But those are a fucking relief compared to migraines. In my current life, I live by the words of Giles Goat Boy: "Fatigue was my only curfew, sufficient rest my one alarm." It fucking works like a charm.

So you're welcome for the migraine cure information. If you try it and it works, drop me a note about your experience. A very, very, very detailed note. With diagrams.

I'm like a one member Council for the Utility of Masturbation. I wanted to call my council "The Council for the Efficacy of Masturbation" because it sounds better. But the other name had a better acronym.

So Nightwing. He's still in fucking Chicago. Hey?! Nightwing! Get the fuck out of Chicago! You're boring in Chicago and Batgirl isn't in Chicago and she's really vulnerable right now because a guy she's been dating just stumbled and fell into a refrigerator, so you should go console her!

Oh. I see. You're already working on a redhead. Go on. This seems a bit more urgent. And more likely to end in bed.

What are the odds that the woman in danger is a redhead? Pretty good, actually. With all the anarchy about Chicago, Nightwing probably had to begin doing some triage. And the first people that need his help? Redheads! Preferably female. And between twenty and thirty six. Older than that and things might get a little Oedipal. Although Dick is being so flippant about this life and death situation, I can't imagine she's going to thank him very enthusiastically.

Nightwing: "Are you shaking from pure terror or are you just happy to see me?"
Danielle: "I nearly fucking died while you cracked jokes, you asshole!"
Nightwing: "What's a hot redhead like you almost dying in a place like this?"
Danielle: "Fuck off!"
Nightwing: "Have you seen what these tights do for my ass?"
Danielle: "Oh, what the hell. There's a motel just down the block."

Forget what I said. Apparently Danielle loves flippant assholes who lack any sense of urgency.

After saving Danielle, Nightwing informs her that he's kind of busy right now and the fantastic oral sex and weird anal bat toys will have to be enjoyed at a later date. Right now, he needs to find The Prankster and save Chicago! Dick heads back up the building to interrogate one of The Prankster's men.

It's nice to see Nightwing can fight crime in such a lighthearted manner when Chicago is practically burning down around his balls and he's hunting the man that murdered his parents.

The alternative to Nightwing joking and being happy is fucking Batman and who needs more of that sourpuss? Batman's secret identity should be Admiral Sourpuss of the H.M.S. Buzzkill.

While Chicago is falling apart, the local news decides it's in its viewers' best interests to report on the long ago murder of The Flying Graysons.

Holy fuck! Dick Grayson is HUNG!

Meanwhile Dick finds out that his roommate has been kidnapped by The Prankster and taken aboard a boat. Not Joey the Computer Whiz bombshell roommate; Michael the photographer stud muffin roommate. Does Nightwing ever meet anybody unattractive that doesn't work for Haly's Circus?

And the revelations just keep coming! Not capital "R" revelations because that one just comes the one time and then look the fuck out! Flying horses on fire and corpses looking for work. No, this is a small "r" revelation and it's made by Tony Zucco's wife when she realizes that she's married to an ex-hitman dickfaced piece of shit mother fucking slimeball.

This is the face Tony Zucco makes when he's not sorry he did it all; he's just sorry he got caught.

Don't ever ask that stupid ass question of anybody. Of course they're only sorry that they got caught. It's why they were trying to hide the stupid ass shit. Because they didn't want to get caught. If they were truly sorry about what they did, they would have begun trying to make amends. But if they haven't begun trying to make amends, then you can be nearly certain that they're only sorry because they were caught. Stop asking stupid questions, people.

Oh, you're just wasting your breath. I already told him this last commentary.

Apparently Tony Zucco believes he knows who The Prankster is. I hope it isn't anybody I know since I haven't guessed who it is and I'll be really embarrassed when it turns out to be totes obvious.

Back in Chicago, Nightwing sort of quotes the only line anybody remembers from Jaws besides, "OH MY FUCKING GOD IT HURTS!"

I wonder how many times per day, somebody says, "We're going to need a bigger X"? Where 'X' is whatever noun fits the situation. "We're going to need a bigger babysitter!" Or "We're going to need a bigger tube of lubrication." Or "We're going to need a bigger shark!"

After Nightwing rescues Michael and everybody else on the sinking boat, Tony Zucco shows up to offer Nightwing a deal. They're going to have to pull their resources because Zucco knows about The Prankster and Nightwing has a nice ass. It's either work together or watch Chicago burn.

You know, I'm really not going to be upset no matter what Nightwing's decision is.

Nightwing #23 Rating: No change. Nightwing never did get crucified by the end of this thing. In fact, he never even encountered The Prankster. So I'm feeling a little ripped off by the cover. It's not the worst sin DC has ever committed but since it's the current sin that I'm experiencing, it sure as hell feels like it! Y'all are a bunch of crucifixion teases, DC!

Nightwing #22

What kind of crappy comic book is this? Nightwing versus a man in a suit?! I want villains in costumes, damn it!

Instead of picking up the phone and letting the corrupt cops handle the murderer Tony Zucco, Nightwing decides to take matters into his own hands. But since Nightwing doesn't kill, he's going to have to end up handing Zucco over to the police at some point. The only way to make sure Zucco is convicted is to take down the Mayor of Chicago and his police chief and the judges and the other dirty cops and probably punch some lawyers in the face and protect the jurors from mob threats. It just seems like an awful lot of work. You know what's not an awful lot of work? Accidentally killing Tony Zucco while trying to apprehend him!

Currently in Chicago, some dirty cop named Detective Morgan has hired Dick Grayson's roommate (a photographer for the paper) to edit together some footage of Nightwing and The Prankster working together and get it on the air.

The sorry state of journalism (and many other aspects of American life) as represented in a comic book. Money and power and fame equal good! Questioning people that have money and power and fame? Bad!

My commentary blog and my main website generate zero dollars for me. But guess what that means? I am beholden to nobody. I'm able to swear and speak my mind and question everything and draw pornographic images. I can call Dan DiDio a cunt as often as I want and nobody is going to tell me to stop or else. Well, maybe Dan DiDio's lawyer might try. But then he'd have to prove, in court, that Dan DiDio isn't a cunt and I'm not sure he'd want to be saddled with that kind of a work load.

That bit about DiDio being a cunt was just an example. I really have no thoughts, positive or negative, on Dan DiDio and how he's running DC. I probably haven't been paying enough attention to that aspect of the comic book world. This blog is mostly just focused on the writing and, to a lesser extent but always important especially when Rob Liefeld's at hand, the art. I did just finish reading Sean Howe's Marvel Comics: The Untold Story and it was a fantastic look at the business side of comics. I'd love to read a history on DC Comics now. But in trying to avoid spoilers, I simply do not follow any comic book news outlets. It's not that I'm not interested! But even just giving sneak peeks of future covers can spoil where a comic book's plot is headed. So I remain fairly ignorant of that shit.

Although maybe I'm going about this all wrong! Maybe I should be taking money from DC Comics and then raving about every single comic book they put out! That would even save me time since I wouldn't have to even read the comics at that point! "Scott Lobdell's Superman is a wild and fantastic ride. You've never seen the Man of Steel like this!"

Ouch. Typing that hurt my soul a little bit.

When the hell did I start reading Spiderman?

Nightwing has apparently learned how to teleport since he visits the mayor by popping into his office and then, just as quickly, disappearing right in front of him. His main purpose was to plant an enormous Nightwing shaped bug on the mayor's desk which the mayor should find the first time he goes to wipe a booger under there. His not-so-main purpose was to tell the Mayor that he knows his assistant, Billy Lester, is actually Tony Zucco. Afterword, Dick goes to lunch with his roommate that I kept thinking was The Prankster but I suppose she actually isn't. But she might be his sister!

Jesus, Dick! You sexist bastard!

I don't like Dick's roommate Joey. I might have said I liked her previously but now I don't like her. I don't like her because of this panel:

When did everything we say in society become so fucking unbelievable that everybody had to start shoving "literally" into every sentence they say?

Speaking of saying "literally" in every sentence, I still have a Channel Mastered episode of Big Brother to watch! The Channel Master is the lower class, non-cable version of the DVR. I think I'll save watching the episode for later in the day when I can drink some Sake every time somebody says "literally." I love watching Big Brother because I'm a huge fan of stories that rely heavily on power shifts. You know? Stories like The Breakfast Club and One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest. And, well, pretty much every story worth telling! Big Brother is horrible but also interesting in the way that normal people perceive power within a confined space among a small group of people. And this season is especially strange in that they have a houseguest that even CBS is trying to distance themselves from because of her casually racist attitude. Never before have I seen CBS put up disclaimers before the show about the ideas being expressed not being those of the network.

Meanwhile in Lake Geneva, the Role Playing Capital of the World, Tony Zucco's getaway vacation is ruined by his stupid kid fighting with another kid. Unless the vacation is actually ruined by Zucco telling his kid he needs to take responsibility as an adult and then seeing Nightwing on television. Or maybe he had some bad shrimp cocktail earlier and he just needs to go take an urgent shit.

And in Chicago, while Nightwing tries to remain under the radar after his little meeting with The Mayor, The Prankster has other plans.

Can this really be considered a prank?

The Prankster blows up an elevated train and then tells the people of Chicago that they will suffer until Mayor Cole pays back the $52 million he's stolen from the city. Then The Prankster sets a bunch of hired goons loose to destroy the city. This prank seems really mean spirited.

Nightwing jumps into action beating up on a half dozen thugs in one small area of the city while who knows how many people die elsewhere. If only The Flash were here! Or Superman! Or Wonder Woman! Or a team composed of those people! But why would they care about Chicago? It's up to Nightwing to save the city from The Prankster!

But that'll have to wait until next month.

Nightwing #22 Rating: -1 Ranking. I'm tired of Nightwing being in Chicago chasing after Tony Zucco. This plot has committed the worst offense possible in comic books: it's boring me! Nightwing is chasing after the man that murdered his parents. He murdered his parents! I know Dick has dealt with the loss of his parents in a much more emotionally stable way than Batman, but I'd still expect him to be a little more passionate about it. Instead he's hanging upside down in the mayor's office like Spider Man sporting a big grin and cracking jokes. Batman would be so disappointed.

Nightwing #21

The guys on the wall look like a modern version of Bluecoat and Scout.

The papers in the foreground mention The Appartion, so maybe The Apparition will end up showing his incorporeal face before the story is through. I think some of the masks that have been driven underground by the Mayor and Tony Zucco need to make an appearance at some point. I bet they still all secretly meet with The Prankster. Readers King Beauregard and Artya mentioned they think The Prankster already knows that Nightwing is Dick Grayson and has conned him into coming to Chicago to topple the corrupt leaders of the city. That's pretty much what I was thinking but I didn't write it in my commentary since I was testing them to see if they'd catch it. Good job, Junior Master Comic Book Readers. Although it still might not be right, so no badges awarded yet!

I do think that The Prankster is working with the other unmasked heroes though, so the scheme to bring in Nightwing makes a lot of sense. Another character on the Wanted Posters is Moon Owl! I bet he's got a short fuse and brings up pellets for justice.

Nightwing was trapped in a box at the end of last issue with The Prankster testing him to see if he'll put his trust in her to survive. But this comic decides we shouldn't be so quick to find out what happens, so it begins several years ago sometime after Masks were outlawed in Chicago.

Were all of Chicago's superheroes "ghost" themed? Slipshift phases through walls. Aether. Ghostwalker. The Apparation.

Slipshift is murdered in the very next panel by that shadowy person (some might say that "apparition"!) in the background of the last panel. Well, maybe not murdered. He's stabbed very badly and then crawls through a wall and disappears. And that's when Kyle Higgins decides the reader has waited long enough to find out what happened to Nightwing. Great! Because now I just want to know what happened to Slipshit! I mean Slipshift!

So Nightwing's in the box and the flame is burning and if he opens the wrong door, FLLLLOOOOOMMMMMPPPH! He's toast! I think FLOOMPH was the appropriate sound effect. Maybe that was the sound effect of Bill Cosby having sex with a Jello Pudding Cup. I used to know these things! Anyway, Nightwing has to choose between unmasking himself or burning alive. He chooses to think outside the Gordian Knot and just smash his face through the glass box after putting out the fire with a fire retardant capsule.

Nighwing has his hands all over The Prankster's chest and he still thinks of The Prankster as a he. I know Joey didn't have Starfire-sized boobies, but I still think Nightwing would notice if The Prankster had any.

I still think The Prankster is Joey. She probably just straps her boobs down nice and tight to look like a man because some people realize that keeping an identity secret should take more than a pair of glasses or a teeny, tiny domino mask. Plus a few shots earlier and a shot on the next page really looks like The Prankster has breasts instead of just really, really well-defined pectoral muscles.

The police arrive and threaten to shoot Nightwing if he doesn't give up his hostage. I don't remember if The Prankster has blackmailed the cops into leaving her alone or if the cops just hate the new masks in town more than the old masks. Either way, Nightwing and The Prankster need to start working together to get out of this jam. Probably just like The Prankster wanted! I bet The Prankster even called the cops on them.

Meanwhile Tony Zucco is making plans to get out of town with his son and his red-headed wife. Looks like he's got something in common with Dick! But then the next page finally bursts my bubble, revealing The Prankster is a man.

The Prankster looks like Kelly from The Bad News Bears. You know? Moocher from Breaking Away? That would be Rorschach to you younger hoodlums. Or non-Robert Englund Freddy Krueger.

The Prankster gets enough information (or makes it up!) to lead Nightwing to City Hall to look for a man named Billy Lester. That's Tony Zucco's new name. Zucco met the Mayor's brother in prison and apparently a bunch of things led to another bunch of things and now Tony Zucco is the Mayor's right-hand man! That was like a math problem where I didn't have to show my work. X=47 because fuck you.

If you're still in high school, try that on your next math test where you have to show your work! Let me know how it goes. You might as well try it! The School System is simply trying to force you into believing that following the rules and acting orderly is the best thing for you. But that's a fucking lie. It's the best thing for them! So anything you can do to disrupt the system is good for you! That's another math problem using the transitive property which you probably don't know because you're being such a disruptive dickhole. Just remember the most important words I think everybody should know: Civil Disobedience. Practice it, motherfuckers!

Nightwing follows up on the lead and finds Zucco's abandoned house. He finds a photograph of the family which proves that his Billy Lester is indeed Tony Zucco. And The Prankster, whom Nighting left handcuffed to the roof of a building, has gotten away to be a pain in everybody's ass next issue.

Nightwing #21 Rating: +1 Ranking. I think Nightwing is being a bit hard on himself at the end of this issue when he begins wondering if the ends justifies the means. Because his means aren't as horrible as he's making them sound. He got some information from a known felon but he also locked that felon up to be nabbed by the police. Oh, maybe that's the means he was referring to! He did kind of make a shady, dirty-lawyer, bullshit semantics deal with The Prankster to get The Prankster to work for him. But I think Nightwing is actually feeling bad because Tony Zucco has a hot red-headed wife whose feelings Dick doesn't want to hurt because then she might not go on a date with him.

Nightwing #20

The Prankster uses a special kind of electricity that doesn't shine any light.

Dick Grayson is in Chicago trying to find Tony Zucco, the man that killed his parents. He's also the man inadvertently responsible for him becoming Nightwing, if you're one of those weirdos that tries to see the positive in everything. He's renting out a room in some crappy little apartment. But at least it includes furnishings and a half-naked woman. But then again, if you're a normal person that always knows things are worse than they appear, you won't be surprised that the half-naked woman has a bat and can't wait to use it.

Look, I didn't get much sleep last night. So think up your own Batwoman and/or Dick joke here.

Dick sure meets a lot of cute women. But does he ever meet normal women? I think Sonia was the only normal woman he's met in a long while and she turned out to be the daughter of the man that murdered his parents. And by that record, my guess is this new girl that he's rooming with is The Prankster.

Oh look! She knows all about computer whatsits just like The Prankster does!

There's also a panel with Dick saying, "I'm just happy there's no bat." I hope nobody takes that moment in time out of context and shows it to Batman! His feelings might be hurt. Ha ha! Batman having feelings! That's a good one.

Nightwing continues to search for Tony Zucco by crouch jumping around Chicago's skyline. Meanwhile Tony Zucco is cowering in the mayor's office worried he's going to have to fake his own death again and lose his new family now that Nightwing's on his trail.

Nightwing meets up with his informant Johnny Spade to learn about Zucco's location. But to get the information from this rat, Nightwing has to win a game of cards. So far in the Reboot, DC has shown a piss poor understanding of poker. I guess it's time to find out if Kyle Higgins is any better.

I would expect Nightwing to prefer the term "card sharp." Card Shark just sounds like another Gotham City Looney.

Kyle Higgins doesn't even bother to show the game since Nightwing doesn't play the cards. He's all about reading his opponent. A short time passes between panels and Johnny Spade is dishing dirt. Spade didn't find out anything about Zucco but he realized there was somebody in Chicago that could probably trace the dead-end email Nightwing had: The Prankster. So Spade found out where The Prankster would be that night and Nightwing goes to battle his roommate but in costume this time.

Okay, maybe it isn't his roommate. Maybe he'll use his roommate's hacker abilities to find The Prankster. But come on! This is a comic book! So it's probably Joey his roommate!

The Prankster has blinded Nightwing by hacking his heads up display on his domino mask goggles. The Prankster manages to knock Nightwing into a closed glass container with a flame. It's a backdraft exhibit in the science museum. To escape, Nightwing must open one of two hatches. One will fill the chamber with oxygen and burn Nightwing to death. The other will allow him freedom. But he needs to remove his mask to pick the right hatch. And The Prankster is waiting outside with a camera.

Nightwing #20 Rating: No change. I'm sorry, Nightwing. I couldn't concentrate very well on your comic book tonight because I'm having work and car troubles. Which means I need to get up and actually do things during the day tomorrow. I hate doing work related stuff during the day and I'm nervous my car has an electrical short instead of just an old dead battery (I know it has an old dead battery! I'm just hoping it's not more!) and so my stomach is all upset and nervous because anything that changes up my normal routine freaks me out a bit. So this comic book might have been better than it was. It also might have been worse! I'm just too distracted right now for comics.

Nightwing #19

Even if I knew it was The Prankster, I would have been expecting somebody entirely different!

This is what the pre-Crisis on Infinite Earths' Prankster looked like:

Can you imagine a villain like this making it into a modern age comic book? I wish!

Was there a time in our country's history when we thought that crime was synonymous with humor? Why do Batman and Superman have so many villains that like to make murder into a joke? The Prankster was apparently one of Superman's enemies which seems ridiculous. He had no powers except the power of murderous laughter and he was going up against Superman? Maybe that's why he partnered up with Toyman on occasion because Toyman had some really serious gimmicks in his workshop. I can't believe I just implied that Toyman was a threatening figure.

Looking at DC's villains from the silver age, we can see what our society thought about people outside the norm. If you weren't working to be a grown-up in a suit or a uniform with a family and children and a responsible life, you were on the fringe and probably a no-good beatnik anarchic piece of trash. So if you were an adult and into jokes or pranks or riddles or toys, you were considered as bad as bank robbers, kidnappers, and murderers. And since I have zero degrees in social anthropology, I'm pretty sure I've nailed it exactly.

This issue is called "Second City" so I think Nightwing has gone to Chicago to try his hand at comedy. But before he gets his chance to do some improv, he's getting chased down by the Chicago cops because Chicago has a "No Masks" ordnance. I wonder if they shoot at anybody wearing a mask or just guys that can do triple back flips off of buildings?

Before I really get into reading this book, I just want to remind everybody how much I hate comic book stories about the authorities chasing down super heroes. I know most of these books have gone over to the "We Hate Mutants!" and "Vigilantes Cause Trouble!" themes. So I'll try not to bitch about it much and just leave my ranting in this paragraph. Fucking stupid Glorious Godfrey Legends bullshit.

See? This is fucked up. They know he's a hero yet they act snide about it and just tried to put two bullets into his back. These cops are assholes.

But before we get to see how many more times the cops try to kill Nightwing before actually arresting him, the comic book has to revert to the previous day so we can see how Nightwing got into this mess before we get to see how he gets out of it.

The Mayor of Chicago is at some grand opening or something where he says that people's lives were turned upside down by masked vigilantism. That seems like a pretty stupid statement. All I hear from that is "Everybody in Chicago is involved in crime and the cops are crooked and now nobody can get any illegal activity done because the stupid uncrooked masked vigilantes are doing the job the cops would be doing if they weren't all on the take!" Maybe I'm reading too much into it.

Nightwing's first night on the town, he meets a crazy woman named Mali and a man that deals in information named Spade. Spade offers a wager with Nightwing. If Nightwing wins, Spade gives him Tony Zucco's location. If Spade wins, Nightwing gives him his identity. But since Spade doesn't have the information about Zucco yet and since the police suddenly swarm all over Nightwing because he's wearing a mask, Spade decides to set up a meet for later. And then we're back at the beginning!

Of course Nightwing gets away from the cops. Although he causes one of their helicopters to crash, mostly due to the pilot's incompetence. And since Nightwing saves them all, he can head back to his apartment with a clear conscience. Besides, he wasn't doing anything but looking for information. The police are the idiots that overreacted because they saw a guy wearing a tiny little mask while standing on the roof of some building.

I assure you, there are pictures in this comic book. But nothing as cool as the Prankster picture from Who's Who. But I think a page with a bunch of information that I don't want to regurgitate is coming up! So I'll scan that in.

My favorite part is how the Mayor doesn't give a shit about someone committing crimes as long as they don't wear a mask. I knew this whole fucking town was corrupt.

As I suspected last commentary, Tony Zucco is part of a crime organization AND he's part of law enforcement! Oh Chicago. Why are you so predictable?

Meanwhile, The Prankster is fucking with some city leader that's also into child porn. Is there not one single good person in Chicago?! Why has DC Comics decided to make their comic book Chicago exactly like real life Chicago? Take that, Chicago!

I wonder what kind of people actually get upset when I make casual statements stereotyping and disparaging wide swaths of people? I wonder how many people believe I believe these things? I wonder if I believe I believe these things? I'm glad I'm not from Chicago or I might have hurt my own feelings and I hate when that happens.

Nightwing #19 Rating: No change. I can't believe DC Comics has a guy named The Prankster and a guy named The Riddler and a guy named The Trickster and a guy named The Joker and a guy named The Puzzler. It's all fun and games until it's all fun and games!