The perversion of the Male Gaze cannot be defeated because even when beaten badly by a sexy woman, it comes in its pants.
Hitman #16 (May 29, 1997)
By Garth Ennis, John McCrea, Carla Feeny, and Willie Schubert
Cover by John McCrea
Edited by Peter Tomasi and Dan Raspler
What a great cover. Tommy's obvious pleasure even while in a non-zero amount of pain. Catwoman looking on in disgust as she realizes what's going on in Tommy's pants the more she whips him. The curious cats looking on. The nipple shadow. This won an Eisner, right? I thought about looking it up but then I also noticed Catwoman's thigh-high boots and her well-rounded hips and my penis was all, "Nah, why waste the time? This definitely won all of the awards in 1997. Oh, and BOING!"
Last issue ended with Tommy inventing the Catsignal and Nate wondering how the fuck he ever became friends with Tommy. This issue begins with the Catsignal working and Selina showing up to ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you nitwits?" She also acknowledges before anybody else can say it that, yes, she was indeed curious.
By Garth Ennis, John McCrea, Carla Feeny, and Willie Schubert
Cover by John McCrea
Edited by Peter Tomasi and Dan Raspler
What a great cover. Tommy's obvious pleasure even while in a non-zero amount of pain. Catwoman looking on in disgust as she realizes what's going on in Tommy's pants the more she whips him. The curious cats looking on. The nipple shadow. This won an Eisner, right? I thought about looking it up but then I also noticed Catwoman's thigh-high boots and her well-rounded hips and my penis was all, "Nah, why waste the time? This definitely won all of the awards in 1997. Oh, and BOING!"
Last issue ended with Tommy inventing the Catsignal and Nate wondering how the fuck he ever became friends with Tommy. This issue begins with the Catsignal working and Selina showing up to ask, "What the fuck is wrong with you nitwits?" She also acknowledges before anybody else can say it that, yes, she was indeed curious.
This panel doesn't add anything new to what I've already said. It just has Catwoman's ass in.
Catwoman's heard about Tommy and his recent humiliation of the Gotham Police so she's a fan. Sort of. Just like everybody else, she's a bit sickened by the ease with which he kills people, even if those people he kills are killers themselves. She also doesn't trust that he's not some pervert who decided to call her out just to stare at her ass. Like a pervert would totally do. Disgusting perverts! But Tommy assures her that he only wants to know why a demon from Hell was thinking about her jumping off of a roof with a gun and not to use his x-ray vision at all. When Tommy mentions the gun, Catwoman gets spooked. If he's actually mentioned the x-ray vision, I imagine Catwoman would have gotten angry. But he didn't mention it which is why he doesn't die until Issue #60. Or #59? Probably #60, right?
The two nitwits and the sexy lady determine through intelligent conversation that Mawzir appeared to Catwoman as some old guy who gave her a million dollars to steal the Ace of Winchesters. They don't know why since they know nothing about the gun. But they know how to find out: Jason Blood. Catwoman decides to join up in their little adventure because she doesn't like being tricked into working for demonic creeps.
The two nitwits and the sexy lady determine through intelligent conversation that Mawzir appeared to Catwoman as some old guy who gave her a million dollars to steal the Ace of Winchesters. They don't know why since they know nothing about the gun. But they know how to find out: Jason Blood. Catwoman decides to join up in their little adventure because she doesn't like being tricked into working for demonic creeps.
Human creeps, on the other hand, she can't seem to get away from working with.
Tommy impresses Catwoman by not violating her by reading her mind. But she didn't know about his x-ray vision! Although, Tommy's probably just using that line to make Nat jealous. Why would somebody need to use x-ray vision on Catwoman when she's wearing an outfit that shows every bump, crevice, and ingrown hair?! I'm pretty sure I already know what her butthole looks like because that spandex grips everything. It looks like this: *
I'm assuming Catwoman's butthole looks like a human butthole because she wasn't bitten by a radioactive cat. If she had been, I'd have to assume her butthole looks more like how Frankie Boyle once described a cat's asshole: a ham cheerio.
Meanwhile, Tiegel, recovering from her "the stupid fucking pigs fired me" bender, remembers that she tried to fuck Tommy Monaghan. She has a very small breakdown which probably has nothing to do with the amount of repressed memories already living in her head because her grandfather is a fucking Nazi.
The page showing Tiegel freak out as she remembers she may have fucked Tommy replaces all the boring stuff Tommy, Nat, and Catwoman are doing to set-up kidnapping Jason Blood. It allows Garth and McCrea to just pick up in the middle of the plan where they're taking him at gunpoint from the airport back to Noonan's where Jason Blood is all, "I hate this city. I hate you. I hate Catwoman. And I will never help you by summoning Etrigan!" And Tommy just smirks because he knows Jason Blood won't have a choice when Mawzir comes through the front door blasting all ten of his Hell pistols. Also Tommy mentions Glenda (Jason Blood's girlfriend) which probably isn't a threat but has something to do with whatever's been going on in the pages of The Demon during this time (which I don't totally remember and may never get to re-read for some time as I think my Lobo and Demon comics are in my mom's basement back in my old home state. But whatever the Glenda reference means, it gets Jason Blood to listen to Tommy's pitch.
I'm assuming Catwoman's butthole looks like a human butthole because she wasn't bitten by a radioactive cat. If she had been, I'd have to assume her butthole looks more like how Frankie Boyle once described a cat's asshole: a ham cheerio.
Meanwhile, Tiegel, recovering from her "the stupid fucking pigs fired me" bender, remembers that she tried to fuck Tommy Monaghan. She has a very small breakdown which probably has nothing to do with the amount of repressed memories already living in her head because her grandfather is a fucking Nazi.
The page showing Tiegel freak out as she remembers she may have fucked Tommy replaces all the boring stuff Tommy, Nat, and Catwoman are doing to set-up kidnapping Jason Blood. It allows Garth and McCrea to just pick up in the middle of the plan where they're taking him at gunpoint from the airport back to Noonan's where Jason Blood is all, "I hate this city. I hate you. I hate Catwoman. And I will never help you by summoning Etrigan!" And Tommy just smirks because he knows Jason Blood won't have a choice when Mawzir comes through the front door blasting all ten of his Hell pistols. Also Tommy mentions Glenda (Jason Blood's girlfriend) which probably isn't a threat but has something to do with whatever's been going on in the pages of The Demon during this time (which I don't totally remember and may never get to re-read for some time as I think my Lobo and Demon comics are in my mom's basement back in my old home state. But whatever the Glenda reference means, it gets Jason Blood to listen to Tommy's pitch.
I thought not paying your DUI lawyer was a bad idea but not paying your hired assassin? Seems like trouble, my dude.
McCrea draws Catwoman's big red lips as if she's constantly blepping. My guess is that's not on purpose but if it was, so cute!
Jason Blood tells Tommy the history of the Ace of Winchesters and why Mawzir probably wants it. It was made in the 1800s to kill demons that manifested on the American frontier due to the atrocities done in the name of Manifest Destiny and colonization. It was owned by every famous American gunslinger that the Irish McCrea could think of, plus John Wayne. Oh, and of course John Constantine owned it at some point. Probably used it to get fifteen schoolgirls murdered and dragged to Hell so that he could clear up an outstanding bank fee hanging over his head.
Tommy believes Mawzir had the gun stolen so that he couldn't use it against Mawzir. But I think Mawzir probably wants it to murder the Lords of the Gun. When they remade him, they gave him too much power and too much ambition!
Jason Blood tells Tommy the history of the Ace of Winchesters and why Mawzir probably wants it. It was made in the 1800s to kill demons that manifested on the American frontier due to the atrocities done in the name of Manifest Destiny and colonization. It was owned by every famous American gunslinger that the Irish McCrea could think of, plus John Wayne. Oh, and of course John Constantine owned it at some point. Probably used it to get fifteen schoolgirls murdered and dragged to Hell so that he could clear up an outstanding bank fee hanging over his head.
Tommy believes Mawzir had the gun stolen so that he couldn't use it against Mawzir. But I think Mawzir probably wants it to murder the Lords of the Gun. When they remade him, they gave him too much power and too much ambition!
I'm certain the only thing going through Natt's head right now is "Big stretch!"
While Jason Blood tries to pretend that he isn't going to summon Etrigan later, Six-Pack wakes up on the floor and offers to help Tommy out. He's all, "Man, I got this crew! Dogwelder! Defenestrator! Bueno Excellente! Some French guy who spits! You're gonna love these guys!" But Tommy is all, "Dude, we're fighting a demon from Hell. You and your weird fucking friends sit this one out." And then Tiegel walks in to Noonan's at three in the morning and is all, "We need to talk about whether we fucked or not!" And then some bullets come in through the window and they're all, "Hi! Hi! Bakoom! Bakoom!"
Also the bullets brought a friend.
Also the bullets brought a friend.
Is this the first time a character shit their pants on-panel in one of the Big Two's comics?
During the big escape scene, Garth Ennis makes sure the comic book passes The Bechdel Test.
Christ, Selina. Put it back in your pants! This isn't the time!
Now I'm imagining a woman pulling her pussy out of her fly and I'm way too turned on by that image!
Natt crashes his car through the front doors of a church because Jason Blood suggests that as the best course of action. Sounds like something somebody who loves Hell and Demons would suggest doing! Actually, he knows, having lived with a demon for so long, that Mawzir will avoid trespassing on hallowed ground because it will bring the angels down to investigate. But it won't stop all the gang members that Mawzir recruited over the last few weeks. So not only do they crash a car into the church, Tommy and friends turn it into a battleground.
Tommy refuses to leave the church because having gotten lucky once against Mawzir, he knows better than to face him in battle again. Especially since Mawzir probably learned that he should use guns that can't kill himself this time. So Tommy needs the Ace of Winchesters but he's not sure where Mawzir hid it. Jason Blood suggests he probably hid it in the one place Tommy couldn't find it: Hell. Which is when Tommy is all, "Yeah, about that. We're gonna need help from your friend. And I'm not talking about Harry the cigar smoking pillow."
The Ranking!
There's a moment in this issue where Catwoman, trapped in the church with everybody and realizing her whip is useless in this situation, asks Tommy for a gun. And Tommy is all, "But I thought you hated guns?" And Catwoman is all, "I do. Remember, kids, all life is sacred," just before she starts laying down cover fire and spraying the fuck out of the henchmen's cars. And then Tommy and Natt, instead of coming in their pants like adults would do, make little crushy hearty google eyes at her. It's kind of cute and adorable. And why the fuck am I describing the moment in words when I could just show it? I guess because I loved the moment so much that I just wanted to talk about it some! Anyway, here it is. Don't come in your pants about it or nothing.
Natt crashes his car through the front doors of a church because Jason Blood suggests that as the best course of action. Sounds like something somebody who loves Hell and Demons would suggest doing! Actually, he knows, having lived with a demon for so long, that Mawzir will avoid trespassing on hallowed ground because it will bring the angels down to investigate. But it won't stop all the gang members that Mawzir recruited over the last few weeks. So not only do they crash a car into the church, Tommy and friends turn it into a battleground.
Tommy refuses to leave the church because having gotten lucky once against Mawzir, he knows better than to face him in battle again. Especially since Mawzir probably learned that he should use guns that can't kill himself this time. So Tommy needs the Ace of Winchesters but he's not sure where Mawzir hid it. Jason Blood suggests he probably hid it in the one place Tommy couldn't find it: Hell. Which is when Tommy is all, "Yeah, about that. We're gonna need help from your friend. And I'm not talking about Harry the cigar smoking pillow."
The Ranking!
There's a moment in this issue where Catwoman, trapped in the church with everybody and realizing her whip is useless in this situation, asks Tommy for a gun. And Tommy is all, "But I thought you hated guns?" And Catwoman is all, "I do. Remember, kids, all life is sacred," just before she starts laying down cover fire and spraying the fuck out of the henchmen's cars. And then Tommy and Natt, instead of coming in their pants like adults would do, make little crushy hearty google eyes at her. It's kind of cute and adorable. And why the fuck am I describing the moment in words when I could just show it? I guess because I loved the moment so much that I just wanted to talk about it some! Anyway, here it is. Don't come in your pants about it or nothing.
The way I feel about this page is the way I felt when I first watched Sailor Moon.
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