Hitman #12 (March 1997)

I bet this issue sold less units than usual due to Kyle Rayner being on the cover.

Hitman #12 (March 1997)
By Garth Ennis, John McCrea, Carla Feeny, and Willie Schubert
Cover by John McCrea
Edited by Peter Tomasi and Dan Raspler

I don't usually discuss the art when I'm reading comic books which is a real lack of vision on my part considering the media. But when I do discuss it, it should be in one of my blog posts and not in the comment section of one of those blog posts. So I'm just going to quote myself from the comments of Issue #9!

McCrea's art, with its fast and loose style, feels like the kind of thing you'd see in a daily strip for a newspaper. But it's always better than I imagine when I take the time to really gaze at it. His facial expressions are wonderful and he can express the whole gamut of human emotion, even when they conflict in the character. You can see it all. I think. Having never had an emotion other than "total rage", I'm just guessing.

I remember being pretty upset when Ennis and McCrea took over The Demon from Grant and Semeiks because Semeiks art was pretty much tailor-made for my tastes. It had that cartoon/animation feel where everything was rounded edges and soft and adorable. And the colors were so bright! But then McCrea came along and must have been all, "Why the fock is this demon from hell so focking cute?! He should look rank and off-putting with weird angles and scraggly limbs! Like a British Tory!" And, man, he wasn't wrong! I definitely came to enjoy their version but, holy moley, I'm still in love with Val Semeiks' Etrigan!

So that's how I feel about John McCrea's art! I don't think he's ever going to be a venerated legend based on his comic book work but he makes his style work on whatever series he's currently working on. Almost as if he puts the work before his own ego! Could that be a thing? Can artists even manage that?! I have my doubts.

This issue begins with Tiegel realizing she's going to fuck an assassin.

That's a lot of fucking cookies. Tiegel's mom also wants to fuck an assassin.

I don't mean to judge Tiegel because she wants to fuck an assassin. I would fuck an assassin in a heartbeat. My dick don't care how many people somebody has killed. That's a brain problem in the minutes following my dick passing out and vomiting the leftover semen onto the inside of my thigh. I'm judging Tiegel because she's a woman and I feel like that category of person has more dignity, pride, and self-respect than, you know, um, men. That's probably sexist but she's also a cop so if she starts fucking a hitman, she's going to have to mark her relationship as "complicated" on all the socials.

Speaking of cops, I was thinking of The Wicker Man recently and it got me to wondering. Do Christians feel like the message of the movie has been lost now that the majority of people would love to see a cop burn in a massive wicker simulacrum? They're all, "No, no! You're glossing over the message about the dangers Christianity faces from pagan peoples and other religions by celebrating the burning of a Christian man who just thought he was doing the right thing but didn't realize the spiritual danger he was in by putting his faith into mankind's laws! Stop cheering at the Christian man's demise! Why are you all stripping naked and dancing around May poles?! GOD WILL FUCKING SMITE YOU, YOU HEATHENS!"

You know what? I bet people aren't thinking that at all. I think most people in 2026 haven't even seen The Wicker Man. Or if they have, they've only seen the remake which, having not seen it myself, I can only surmise is fucking terrible. I know people love Nicholas Cage and I can sometimes see why they love him but I also feel that if Nicholas Cage is in a bad movie, that movie feels like watching a dog with severe diarrhea prolapse. Although now that I've said that, I feel like a bunch of you sicko fucks would love to watch that dog. Live and close-up. Or you might prefer it as a GIF so you can watch it over and over again without having to take your hands off your private parts.

Meanwhile, Mr. Truman makes a critical mistake with his henchman, Mr. Feekle.

It might seem like, at the time, disciplining your dog with a mini-baseball bat was a good idea. But you're actually just training it to eventually tear your throat out.

That last caption wasn't for normal people who probably thought, "When would anybody ever think beating a dog was a good idea?!" It was for the alpha jerks who think masculinity means never having a single emotion and who also don't realize that rage is an emotion. And I'm not just pointing my judgy finger at men. Plenty of Kristi Noem's fucking up the women's side too.

Tommy gets wired up for his meeting with Truman so he can get Truman to admit to his fascist government agency that kills supes the government doesn't take a shine to. He makes a sexist joke at Tiegel's expense even though it's not meant to be sexist but meant to satirize the shit cops she usually works with. Tiegel points out he's being a jerk and ruining things and that's when Tommy realizes he isn't busting the balls of one of the guys at Noonan's; he's busting the vagina of a woman who wants to fuck him.

I heart Tiegel.

Tommy hears Mr. Truman's pitch but mostly just to get it all on tape. But if Tommy had been named Billy Butcher, he probably would have been all, "Oi, yeah. Def killing them supes." Although he wouldn't be a great employee having just joined the government program to get his hands on funding and incredible weapons while he still did whatever the fuck he wanted while being constantly yelled at and reprimanded. Tommy isn't quite Billy Butcher. Tommy doesn't see superhero as a huge threat to mankind. He just sees superheroes as everybody else: some are nice and some are jerks and some are evil jerks who commit evil so they don't deserve to live. Tommy isn't willing to just put a bat-bullet in a bat-brain because some, um, batbrain tells him to.

Truman gives Tommy his offer and Tommy gives Truman his answer.

I don't know what Kyle Rayner's part of this scheme was but I think maybe it was a wild goose chase. Which is fine by me!

Oh, um, Kyle appears not long after Truman orders Tommy killed for refusing his offer. Tiegel kills the sniper meant to kill Tommy and then Kyle flies in in an over-the-top flying saucer construct to blow up a car and scare all the other CIA gunmen into dropping their weapons. That leaves Mr. Feekle to confront Tommy himself. My guess is some bullets will fly and then Tommy will take cover so that he can point out how the person Feekle should be angry with is Mr. Truman. Then Mr. Truman will lose a kidney or a leg or an eye or half of his penis to Mr. Feekle's anger because that's what happens to Garth Ennis bad guys! They just get brought down piece by fucking piece.

Enh. Sometimes I'm wrong! RIP Mr. Feekle.

The Ranking!
That's pretty much the end of things. The taped conversation gets Mr. Truman off Tommy's back (for now!). And Green Lantern goes home looking like the idiot Garth Ennis has decided he is. I'm sure Kyle fans weren't happy about that. And Tiegel realizes she's going to, eventually, fuck a hitman. Aces!