Sunday, January 31, 2016

Superman Loves Wonder Woman #25


I couldn't bear to fill in the rest with just red, yellow, and blue. Are adult coloring books called adult because they expect too damn much from you?!

Rating: No change. The worst thing about doing long form commentary on DC's comic books back before I opted out was the amount of time it took to put every thought and digression that came to mind down on digital paper. The best thing was that I could just make stupid remarks about a comic book that was shit and made no sense without actually having to explain why it was shit and why it made no sense. But now what am I supposed to say in a short synopsis when I read a comic book like this?!

Here's the gist of it: Superman is healed by the Greek/Roman gods and then, on the final page, Hermes reveals that Superman is healed and that he's "completely and fully mortal." Yeah? So? That's how he's always been! What the fuck do you mean by that, Hermes?! Do you maybe mean he's human now? Do you mean he's powerless now? Do you mean he's now only fit for a menial, 40-hour per week job and a life of toiling monotony punctuated by a few sporadic moments of joy or sorrow? You didn't explain anything by claiming he's something he's always been! Dick.

During Superman's great healing adventure, Cupid pressures Clark into reconsidering Clark's marriage proposal to Diana. Back off, Cupid! The fans all know Superman should be fucking Lois and we're not even gods of love! I think your love for your new aesthetic has blinded you from reality. Dick.

Artemis takes Clark on a hunt but it would have been better and more interesting if she'd just sat him down to watch Hedwing and the Angry Inch with her.

Anyway, Clark proves he's worth keeping around a little while longer so the gods heal him. Next maybe they can make everybody forget that he's Superman and that they hate him for it.

I'm still confused about why the population of the DC Youniverse was fine with Superman until they found out Superman had a secret human identity. People are fickle assholes.

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