Convergence: The Question #2

Brrrrt!

That caption was a fart noise. It's also the noise my high school dungeonmaster used to make whenever he was leaving. Or making a pizza. Or rolling dice. Or, and I'm just extrapolating here from prior evidence, fucking somebody.

When we last left The Question asking questions like "Who am I?" and "Why is Two-Face so mean to me?", she had just teamed up with Batwoman and The Huntress. I think they want Two-Face to join their group so they can call their team TBQH, or "To Be Quite Honest." Unless they'd rather be known as QHTB, or "Quit Humping The Bagels."

Now that we've caught up to The Question, she's asking more philosophical questions like "If we're all going to die in the end, why do we bother?" She states it as "If life is conflict, why do we bother?" You know why we bother? Because we were born without any regard to our choice in the matter and lived long enough to become aware of our mortality. That causes us to realize we'd rather struggle and mourn and lose love and curl up on the floor in a ball crying our eyes out over a dead pet and stub our toes and get cavities and struggle with breast cancer than to not exist at all. Even persons of faith fear death because no matter how much you declare your faith is strong because it's basically a sin to not have faith, there's constantly a small doubt that your beliefs are based on bullshit. Or, and this might actually be scarier to those of a religious bent, that you didn't impress your god enough and will be spending eternity being punished for that brief faltering of your faith. We struggle with all of the bullshit because it's better than not being here.

At least, that's how most people feel. People do choose to kill themselves. And whether it's a trick of their brain chemistry that duped them into believing non-existence would be better than struggling or if they were simply and truly tired of the quagmire of life, they still, somehow, face the dissolution of their ego into the void of eternity and take the bravest (or most illogical (or, perhaps, sickest)) choice anybody can make. I'm tired of a lot of it. But I can't imagine be so tired that I choose to never be able to imagine anything ever again.

The Question will probably come up with something more optimistic like we put up with the struggle for love and family and friends and j;mily.... Whoops! Sorry! I couldn't help making jerk off motions with my hand and it fucked up my typing. If you're Batman or Sherlock Holmes, you now know which hand I use to masturbate.

No bickering! There's plenty of Question to go around.

Two-face is busy recruiting gang members to follow him into battle to defeat the other Two-face. I wonder if the other Two-face's face will be a mirror image of this Two-face's face? Or maybe the Harvey Dent he has to battle never had acid thrown in his face at all!

The Question continues her internal monologue about shit that relates to her dying father. That previous stuff about why do we struggle? That was about her dying father (and the human condition as a whole but, I mean, that's just because her father's struggle with cancer is just one example of what he all ultimately have to face). Then that thing about keeping a sense of humor? About her dying father. Now she's thinking about a guy named Charlie she knew who died badly of cancer which makes her think about dying with no regrets. I have a feeling she's going to say some shit about dying with regrets that I previously said in my Convergence: Atom #1 commentary.

Renee calls people who die with no regrets "stupid." I called them "lying, soon-to-be-dead assholes." We petty much agree!

The Question tracks her Harvey to the Gotham Courthouse where he's confronting other Harvey. Other Harvey's face is pristine. I bet he still doesn't call himself stupid like "One-Face." Fucking David Finch. That was the worst ending of all the first issues of The New 52!

The Question's Harvey asks Other Harvey if he can still tell right from wrong and tosses him his coin. Other Harvey says he tries to tell right from wrong but unless you're Ayn Rand or a fan of hers, you understand the majority of the world is grey. Or gray. Which is right?!

I suppose Post-Zero Hour Harvey Dent can lose his battle (you know, by shooting himself in the face) and it won't mean the end of Post-Zero Hour Gotham. Since so many people are fighting, it must be a final tally of fights won which indicates which city survives. Of course Renee isn't going to let any such thing happen. Not on her, and her ex-girlfriend's and "roommate's," watch.

Sex with a roommate isn't sex! It's just part of the chore wheel.

Renee walks in on the Harveys engaged in a legal discussion about the right to kill to save their cities. Is it defense? Or is it murder? It's the court case of the century! Whatever century they're in. But ultimately, Harvey is simply trying to convince Other Harvey why Other Harvey should be the one to live. This isn't murder at all; it's suicide.

Except that Renee jumps in front of Harvey Dent as Other Harvey pulls the trigger and takes the bullet herself.

Ouch. My heart. And my penis! Stupid tight boxers.

Renee's suit was made out of Kevlar so she's just fine. And even better now that she and Kate are kissing again. And she'll be even betterer later when they do whatever it is lesbians do with each other. Watch action flicks?

Harvey asks Renee, "What do I do now?" First off, you stop looking at the Question for answers! Ha ha! No, but seriously, Renee answers, "Be the good man." Then she leaves with her ex-roommate and her girlfriend while Harvey stand staring at his coin on the floor. I guess he's paralyzed by the choice about whether he should pick it up or not since it's on the floor and he can't flip it to determine if he should pick it up.

Afterward, Renee goes to visit her father and I don't feel a thing and you have to believe me because there isn't video evidence of my tears.

He's so fucked up on morphine that he probably forgot she was gay.

The issue ends with Renee realizing life is about the conflict and about the questions and about making mistakes and about getting the chance to make them right again. She also winds up with Two-Face's coin, so I guess he's gone on the straight and narrow. Or maybe he's just advanced to a six-sided die.

After Other Harvey shot Renee, he was sucked into a vortex. Is that because he was deemed the winner even though nobody died? Telos is a pretty shitty judge if that's the case. Maybe he was deemed the loser because he shot the wrong person and didn't kill them and no fight really took place! Whatever happened, it didn't matter because the Convergence shit was just an excuse for Greg Rucka to write this story about love and reconciliation and regrets and homophobic fathers.

Convergence: The Question #2 Rating: After reading this issue, I see how the first issue was as much of a set-up as it needed to be to truly tell this story. But the heart of this two issue series was in this issue. The Convergence stuff didn't matter at all. It just formed the set and the location for this story to take place. It even ends without any resolution to the Convergence fight which is just fine by me. That crap will probably be settled unsatisfyingly in the pages of the Convergence weekly. I'm sure everybody will wind up living together in some kind of peace and harmony on this world or, perhaps, all of their universes will suddenly exist within the non-space and non-time of the planet Telos and the Bleed. Anyway, this was a terrific story and I can't imagine any of the other Convergence stories will be better so I'm ranking it as the best of them all! I doubt I'll cry twice during any other books. Theoretically!

Divergence: Starfire

The new Starfire monthly is going to be written by Jimmy Palmiotti and Amanda Conner while being drawn by Emanuela Lupacchino and inked by Ray McCarthy. I think I just came in my pants like eight times. That's a good fucking team right there!

The sneak peek begins with Gen 13 answering an unasked question to an unknown person. It's quite obvious (and not meant to be a super secret mystery) that the person asking the question was Starfire and the question was, "Where should I live, Gen-13?!" Other people Starfire consults? Roy Harper. Tim Drake. Essence. Zatanna. And Cheshire, for some reason. Maybe she's been captured by Cheshire in that last panel and decided to pick her brain before she escapes.

She's obviously going to pick Metropolis! That's where solar-charged hero's live!

Starfire heads to Metropolis but to ask Superman for advice since he's an alien as well. She mentions she has no interest in being a super-hero and I still really have no clue as to why she was "an outlaw" over in that other shitty and forgettable comic book she starred in.

Starfire might fit in in Miami! Or, being she has orange skin, the Jersey shore!

I'm glad she didn't ask Batman.

Starfire's choice of places to live is Key West. And her first friend is Sheriff Gomez! Although Sheriff Gomez doesn't quite know it yet. To be continued in Starfire #1, yo!