If I were Kyle, I would defeat the Psions just after they'd killed all the Bohemian Guardians.
I wish there were a comic book about Mormon Jesus. Maybe that's the independent comic book I was born to write!
If anybody in the DC Universe can use the word "kaiju" without me judging them just a little bit, it's Kyle Rayner.
I wonder if the younger and younger the writers become (or the younger and younger voices they try to simulate *cough*ScottLobdell*touchmyselfsecretly*), the more and more old man ranty I'm going to become. I said "ranty" not "randy!" Although what makes old men so hands on and gropey? You're creeping us all out, old dude!
I bet this issue is called "Sacrifices" because Quaros sacrifices himself to save the others! Who else is going to sacrifice anything in this comic book? Certainly not Carol Ferris! She's worth too much money for that kind of peasant-type bullshit. Sacrifice! I bet she doesn't even know what the word means! Or that its mantra is "BEH!" Oh wait, is that the mantra for Compassion? Fuck it. Who needs to know about sacrifice anyway!
Oh! Tinkers! That's who! Duh!
Meanwhile, the Bohemian Guardians escape.
Don't bother. He's already the second segment of an Alien Centipede.
Instead of crying like I would do, the maltreated aliens rush from their cells like horror monsters exiting a bank of elevators in that movie that basically felt like a lost episode of Angel. Didn't it seem like the evil organization in Cabin in the Woods might as well have been Wolfram and Hart?
That smoke is really starting to piss me off. I want to see what's going on in Quaros's basement!
The only problem with the explosion is that it went "BOOM" and before that, a little box was going, "Ping. Ping. Ping." We all know what that means, right? Quaros is on Apokolips now! I'm sure we'll be seeing him again in the Godhead crossover.
Says the woman who earlier finished Kyle's sentence that began with "We need to--" and ended with her saying "Find the Guardians and get some additional brainpower working on this?" I'm more apt to believe in gamma radiation turning a person into a Hulk than I am to believe that people ever finish other people's sentences as often as they do in comic books.
New Guardians #34 Rating: No change. The main problem I have with this comic book is that I don't care about any of the characters. Otherwise, I like how he's off doing his own thing and having his own adventures with Carol. But I guess I can kiss that shit goodbye since he's going to get dragged right back into Green Lantern Corps drama in October. At least this crisis will star the New Gods. I hope Metron runs over Kilowog in his space chair. Then Black Racer will ski up and be all, "Dude, you're dead. You're dead dude. Dude. Dead. You're dead. Dude."