The Flash #21

Welcome to a good comic book, Kid Flash! I hope you have a good time!

Last issue, The Flash was putting every bit of his police mind to work to figure out who was killing his Speed Zone Infected friends. He profiled Gomez as acting suspicious because, you know, he's black. Then he realized the killer had a Flash-type symbol on his chest and he profiled Kid Flash as the problem because, you know, juvenile delinquent. He's obviously read the Police Officer's Guide to Catching Criminals.

Police Officer's Guide to Catching Criminals
Chapter One: Catching the Culprit

Pick out the darkest and the youngest suspect. You've got your culprit! Congratulations on a job well done! Before you go in to arrest the suspect, have your finger on that trigger and if he's holding anything in his hands, shoot to kill! You wouldn't want careful police work to get in the way of advancing to Chapter Two! You've now earned a promotion! Enjoy accepting graft and bribes from white "legitimate businessmen"! Next chapter: Collecting Your Pension!

Some might say I'm painting all police officers with a wide brush. To that I'd say, fuck yes I am. If corruption and laziness and fear rule a large percentage of people in a job, I'm not going to refuse to mention these things simply because there are exceptions to the rule. I'd rather hurt the feelings of the good police officers by including them in my rage and anger for the lazy, fearful, power abusing bastards that treat the job as an excuse to bully innocent people. I'm sick to fucking death of "gut instinct" winning out over "good detective work." I'm sick of cops pulling triggers and killing unarmed civilians because the cop was fearful the person had a weapon. You know whose now fearful of people that they know have weapons? Yeah, that was fucking rhetorical but I'll answer it for any police officers reading this: everyday citizens are! And you're the assholes with the weapons! Knock it the fuck off. You took the oath and took the job wherein you knew your life would be in danger. You need to take the fucking risk on yourself and lay off the trigger already. It's especially bad when a cop knows he can shoot whomever he wants and a board of his peers will let him off the hook because "he thought his life was in danger."

You know what else I'm sick of? I'm sick of cops bullying people who aren't doing anything and threatening them with arrest. Then when the innocent people say, "Fuck no, I'm not doing anything wrong!", the cops arrest them for resisting arrest. That bullshit needs to be changed. Fucking politicians need to stop dicking around with painting the streets green for the illusion of bicycle safety and start actually changing things that matter. Or better yet, stop making more laws and spend a year or two getting rid of a bunch of them. Most of the laws are bullshit that a politician draws up to make himself or herself look good to the community. Oh, a bus hit a kid as the kid rode backwards down the street and swerved out into the lane? Change the laws to give more rights to bikers and pedestrians! You know, so they feel even more invincible because the law is on their side and they grow careless and begin getting hit more often.

I think I might be too pissed off to read The Flash now! Oh well! Here goes nothing!

Ha ha! Oh Flash! I can't stay mad when you're punning it up.

Dammit! Now you've gotten me mad again!

Flash, that is the biggest bullshit there is. If you hear about police shooting innocent people, accidentally or carelessly or whatever, why wouldn't you run the fuck away from them? And you're not even a policeman! You're an adult in a red leotard chasing after some kid! I'd run from you too, you gigantic pervert! This notion that innocent people don't run or that people with nothing to hide don't mind being spied on or that innocent people don't confess to crimes when bullied and intimidated is a huge part of the problem with the "justice" system. These are just myths and urban legends and misinformation and rumor and speculation. Nobody in this country will be safe from the people purported to be keeping us safe if they refuse to be rational about it.

Kid Flash loses him in the Sahara Desert and then calls Red Robin while stopping off in India for a snack. Red Robin hears him eating as they talk and then acts incredulous that Kid Flash is eating. Unless I just read it wrong because you can't actually hear the tone in his voice when he says it. But the bolding of certain words makes it seem like Red Robin is judging Kid Flash for simply trying to keep all of his organs from failing because he's used up all the energy in his body in one quick run across the world. Kid Flash mentions that Flash brought up a murder and Red Robin decides to look into it as The Flash finally catches up to him.

The Flash grabs Kid Flash and that thing that happens when Vibe touched Kid Flash happens again. The Flash gets a glimpse of a bunch of old white men in old fashioned wigs and realizes that Kid Flash is from the future. Wait what? It's more like he's from Parliament! The Flash does realize that Kid Flash taps into something other than the Speed Force. Since he's a time traveler, it must be the Time Force. Since the Speed Force is so tied up in time, you might think it was also the Time Force. But it's not! The Speed Force is the Time times Distance Force! The Time Force is just the Time Force! I wonder who is tapping into the Distance Force? Probably Batman. Because he's so distant! Ha ha!

Those poor Titans on the ship. So close to experiencing a good comic and yet so far away!

Meanwhile in a diner, a bald man with a big mustache and suspenders and a green shirt comes in to pick up an order of carry out. I don't know what that has to do with The Flash story! Maybe he's a future villain? Or Gorilla Grodd with a Percepto-Changer Enhancement! Maybe he's Lex Luthor's cousin from the Baltic region! I don't know who he is or why it was so important to spend two pages on watching him pick up his order, but I'm aroused! I mean intrigued!

This is the suspicious bastard!

Finally Reverse-Flash makes an appearance and kills Sprint. Then he says, "Three down, two to go!" It seems Iris West did pick up a Speed Force Power that she's either not telling about or she's completely ashamed of. I bet she can poop super fast!

The Flash #21 Rating: +2 Ranking. I don't think I praise the art in this comic book enough. If I do, then that apparently wasn't enough so it's still not enough because it's fantastic. And the writing is also superb. So +1 for writing and art and also maybe another +1/2 for keeping the same creative team on the title for twenty one issues. I hope they go the distance on this thing! +1 Speed Force Point for me!