Thursday, June 13, 2013

Green Lantern Corps #21

Is it finally time to let John Stewart shine? Or is tragedy going to immediately befall him yet again?

We'll talk about John Stewart in a second. First let's talk about the new writer Van Jensen. When one of my Most Loyal Readers (people that read Eee! Tess Ate Chai Tea need a nickname!) mentioned that Van Jensen was going to be writing Green Lantern Corps, I asked Lord Google about him. While I was reading about his previous work, I saw that he had been working on a project with my Cousin-in-Common-Law. My Cousin-in-Common-Law sometimes goes by the name Jim Doom over at and Van Jensen used to write shit there under the name Jean Claude Van Doom. Fin Fang Doom currently has a post about it over there if you're curious to see some of the stuff Van Jensen was writing about comics way back when. What this means is I might unconsciously (or consciously and very pussily) go easy on the writing. Man, I hope I don't do that!

This is Facebook telling me I almost know him!

So enough about my brush with some guy I'll never meet anyway who did something that I'm now reading. That was fascinating!

While Carol and Hal are over in Green Lantern #21 redefining their relationship with a definition that doesn't include the word "together," John and Yrra are trying to figure out where they stand now that they've had sex with each other. And with Mogo.

Yeah, but you have to admit having sex on another Green Lantern's face is at, the very least, a little weird.

John Stewart is headed to the Planet Kush to stop a Ruthenium Reactor from blowing up the planet. Fatality is tagging along because John refuses to mark the box under "YES" or "NO" on the piece of paper she slipped him in the library at lunch. She's talking a lot trying to get a straight answer from him but she still doesn't talk as much as John's ring. I've never seen such a mouthy ring before! And it's not very smart! It doesn't know what kind of lifeforms are sabotaging the reactor. I think it spends too much time talking and not enough time listening.

Have any Green Lanterns ever nicknamed their ring? Has a Green Lantern ring ever developed a distinct personality? I really don't know these things because I've never read that many Green Lantern comic books. Also, I just can't remember the Green Lantern comics I did read.

That's just insulting! According to Huey Lewis, she's got some serious power. Stay behind you. Fucking man.

I realize I may have jumped to some man-hating conclusions in that previous caption. It's quite possible that John Stewart knows he's a lousy shot with his Ring, so he doesn't want to accidentally hit Fatality with a blast when he goes spazzing into battle. Which is what happens on the next page! Not the accidentally hitting Yrra part but the spazzing into battle! John's first weapon of choice is a girder. Yes, that's right. A girder. I guess it makes sense since he was an architect before he was a Green Lantern. Just using what he knows. Fatality, on the other hand, tries beating the aliens to death with giant flowers.

During the battle (which, just to be clear, John and Yrra are not winning), John and Yrra's rings begin to malfunction. It's at this point that the scene shifts back to Oa so the reader can see what's going on and go, "Ohhhh! That sucks!" instead of "What the fuck just happened to their fucking rings and shit!?"

Except the change in scene doesn't answer any questions! I was basing my speculation on Green Lantern #21 where everybody's rings and lanterns were also shorting out. But instead of the Bohemian Guardians giving me answers, they merely give Salaak's old job to Kilowog.

The scene also shifts to show some alien named Jruk slaughtering people in a game of Blood Bowl on the planet Oranx. I think they play Blood Bowl differently on Oranx than in the back room of gaming stores because Jruk just wanders around the pitch lopping off heads with his battle axe. Hmm, maybe it's not so different.

On Rojira, Lizard Monk Ergann is left behind by his fellows because he's old and tired and probably flatulent. I wonder if these are going to be new recruits for the rebuilt Green Lantern Corps? Although the first guy sort of looks like the tiny guy battling Green Lanterns on the double splash page in Green Lantern #21. Although that's probably Relic. Or Reliquary. Or whatever.

On Zarox, a Swoop-headed Zebralorian reads a story to her son. I hope the mother becomes the Green Lantern and is forced to leave her son and her son dies in the slums they live in and she resents the Corps forever! I mean, I hope she has a happy life!

On Rhoon, one lone Rhoonian is simply tired of the never ending counter-arguments of his philosophical brethren.

He's exhausted living in an internet forum.

Back on planet Kush, John and Yrra's rings flare back into life. Oh! I get it! Some mysterious force is screwing with the ring's power! Oh, you already figured that out? Forget I said anything. The unidentifiable aliens escape while John and Fatality contain the reactor and save the planet. Although there's still a big explosion! I guess they contained it enough so that the radiation doesn't spread. And then they go after the unidentifiable aliens who turn out to be shapeshifters.

Meanwhile on Oranx and Rojira and Zarox and Rhoon, some new Green Lanterns are recruited!

Ha ha ha! I mean, noooo...dooooon't she was so haaaappppy.

I think I might have a slight inter-species crush on Maro.

Back on Kush, the shapechangers escape in their ship while Green Lantern and Star Sapphire are under fire by the natives who are a little bit mistrustful of the Green Lantern Corps after all the shit the Guardians have pulled. Plus the shapechangers made it look like John and Yrra were trying to eat their babies. John gets the call to return to Oa to protect it from Larfleeze so Fatality chases after the aliens alone. But first she asks John to consider a life with her outside the Corps. So while Hal and Carol feel that remaining Corps members is the most important thing, Fatality and John may actually try to have a life outside their respective Corps. This seems like a much more reasonable reaction if two people really desire to have a life together as opposed to really desiring to keep a fucking Green Lantern Ring on their finger.

On the final page, the shapeshifting aliens turn out to be Durlans. You know, like Chameleon Girl and the other one. The boy or something. And they apparently have a beef with the Guardians. Who doesn't?! Get in line. The fucking line starts four light years past the second star on the right.

Green Lantern Corps #21 Rating: +1 Ranking. Congratulations Van Jensen on avoiding my unreasonable hatred! I really like that we're getting a lot of new Green Lantern characters to grow with and learn about. Four new ones in Green Lantern #21 (although one dies on the first page) and four new ones here. The ones in Green Lantern don't exactly have a lot of character yet but these ones have already been set up nicely with some easily understandable starting traits. I'm particularly interested in the mother and the philosopher. After that, I'm really interested in the Blood Bowler and the Elderly Lizard Monk!

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