I knew it! He's a Hentai Rapetopus!
I hope we learn Green Arrow's secrets this issue! I'm only pretending I don't want to know them in front of Green Arrow because he's been teasing us with his stupid secrets for four issues now. Maybe more! And, um, maybe less. You know what? I didn't bring this up so we could discuss my mediocre math skills.
Last issue, Green Arrow had finally found his way through the desert to a teepee with Magus inside. After a few S'mores and an agonizingly long pillow fight scene, Magus and Oliver begin a game of truth or dare. Even though I really wanted to see the kind of nipple stiffening dares these guys would get up to (especially after the long tease of a pillow fight where most of their clothes remained on), they skip the dares and get right down to the truths.
Oh! Here they come! All the deadly secrets!
Ollie doesn't hallucinate his time on the island but the time that his father, Richard, was on it searching for some mythical treasure of The Arrow Clan. He's there with Emerson and a guy named Simon that could possibly be Komodo but I'm really hoping it's Simon Stagg! He'd be a great rival for Queen Industries and Richard also mentions that the Outsiders have recently been exploring this island as well. New 52 Metamorpho would be perfect working for a bad guy group of heroes under the auspices of Stagg Industries because Rex wants to marry Sapphire. Look at me! I'm still living in the Preboot world! But the Preboot world is all that makes the Reboot world exciting! Elsewhere tales are always fun because of the changes and games they play with the original universe. And what is The New 52 but an Elsewhere tale out of control?
So the guy with the Totem Fist? Is it mummified? Does he have to cut off his own hand and attach it at the wrist? Is it just a symbolic carving that gives power? I hope it's the mummified fist of the Buddha.
Simon was a poor kid with drive and determination. He was the son Dick Queen really wanted. So he brought Simon into the secret quest for the Arrow Clan's Magic Arrow. When did Green Arrow become a Young Adult Fantasy Novel? As you probably guessed from having read so many Young Adult Fantasy Novels, Simon winds up killing Dick Queen. It was inevitable. It's exactly what happened to Daddy Warbucks when he took in Little Orphan Annie.
After hearing this story from Magus the man of mystery, Oliver Queen believes it because why not. Emerson did try to tell Oliver something about the island just before he died and it could have been all this fantastic bullshit! And Komodo is pretty good with arrows! And Dick Queen did have a room full of artifacts and maps. Actually, Ollie simply wants to kill Komodo so he figures he might as well buy into the whole story since it'll give him the best chance to find the Outsiders and find Komodo and kill him for being a huge dick.
After the scary story part of the slumber party concludes, Magus introduces Green Arrow to his friend, Butcher of the Axe Clan.
If the Axe is a real weapon, I think I might need a vomit bag when he meets the leader of the Fist Clan.
I suppose the government would want to pay their employees so they can feel like they have some kind of ownership of them. The normal Justice League is probably more pure and would see paychecks as tainting the entire thing. Maybe Batman just keeps a few hundred thousand dollars of petty cash on the Watchtower for whenever anybody needs a little help in their secret lives.