Swamp Thing #15

I haven't really been keeping track of this and it isn't really a very scientific statement but here it is anyway: this is my favorite cover of The New 52 so far.

Last issue, Swamp Thing and Deadman were on their way to Gotham City when they were eaten by William Arcane's pet Rotctopus. Also, William had Aquaman's trident so the DCnU is a less lame place now.

Oh, please allow William Arcane to correct me:

Is everyone going to get little Rotten Starro Babies stuck to their faces?

Swamp Thing bursts out of Starro's stomach because that's simply what you do when you've been eaten by a giant monster in the DC Universe. Starro might be down for the moment but since Rot Creatures can't be killed and Starro's piece just regenerate, Swamp Thing might have just created an unkillable Starro army. But the crossover should be over before he has to deal with any of the repercussions of his thoughtless actions.

Little Willy has a ton of other dead fish things at his disposal since they're fighting in the ocean. Deadman decides the only way to stop him is to possess him. But since William is of The Rot, it will destroy them both. But that's okay, Boston. You get to die a hero in the Rotworld Alternate Reality. That means you won't really be dead but you will still be remembered as being heroic and full of self-sacrifice!

Back in the past, Abby makes her way to the Parliament of the Rot to try to stop Rotworld before it even gets started. If she manages to do that, can I send all of my Rotworld comics back to DC for a full refund since they never took place? I guess I don't have to worry about that since Abigail fails.

I'm not sure what she would have found if she'd been on time. Puppies?

I don't know what the Parliament of the Rot is supposed to look like but I imagine this isn't it. This looks like a bunch of Arcane's Un-Men. Perhaps Arcane killed the Parliament of the Rot because they were too conservative. Or perhaps this is the Parliament of the Rot after they've been infected by themselves. Can that happen? I really don't know what's going on here.

Thanks to Deadman's death, Swamp Thing makes it to the Batcave in Gotham. He finds a Rotten Batman changed to his computers and gets much too close. It bites him in neck so now he has to worry about rabies as well as Rot Infection. I bet those things don't worry Alec at all. He's probably more worried about sexually transmitted plant problems like Kudzu and Gypsy Moths. He's saved by a human-bat creature even though he probably didn't really need to be saved. He was just off balance and surprised by Batman's horrible bat face and surprise hickey. The bat-creature that saved him transforms back into its all human form to cradle him against her sexy chest.

I wonder if this'll go in her diary?

Swamp Thing #15 Rating: No change. So let me get this straight: Animal Man's army consists of dozens of Frankensteins, Steel, Beast Boy, Black Orchid, John Constantine, and Green Lantern. Swamp Thing's army consists of Batgirl. Good thing it's not a competition. I'm sure Batgirl will introduce Swamp Thing to her own New Gotham army next issue. It'll probably be composed of half Bat-family members and half insane assholes. I can't wait!