Captain Atom #3

Before I continue reading Captain Atom #3 (I've read up to the title page), I'm going to make a declaration:

Captain Atom, you get a clean slate! Let's leave those last two issues behind us and pretend they never happened. From here on out, let's call Issue #3 'Issue #3-2'. I know you were just a soldier and not a scientist, so let me clear that up for you. That makes this Issue #1! Okay? Sound good? Okay, buddy! Let's try this again!

Now this is how the entire series should have began! Who are the editors at DC? How could they not have seen that this is the beginning of this series? I'm not saying it's good or that I entirely like Captain Atom yet. But it's intriguing. And it makes sense! So I'll post all of Captain Atom's narration boxes up to the title page here and then discuss what I like and dislike about this start.





















During this narration, the panels show people in trouble being saved by Captain Atom. But Captain Atom isn't in any of the panels. Just his symbol appears at those moments the person is saved. And they never know he was there helping them out.

What do I like about this inner monologue? It rings true to the character. Captain Atom is a broken person. He died and, somehow, miraculously came back to life. And he came back with crazy huge (one might say 'God-like') powers. He's exactly the type of person who would be looking for meaning in life. He can't chalk it all up to some accident. There's got to be something more at work. Someone behind the curtain.

What do I dislike about this inner monologue? Most definitely his conclusion at the end. 'Am I part of it or working against it?' If this accident made him begin to think there was something more, some meaning to it all, he would almost certainly believe he was saved for a reason and therefore part of the plan. This kind of questioning might come later, maybe. But that final question seems too cynical for someone just beginning to question whether there is meaning behind it all.

Now, it still works. That's just how I feel about it. He is, after all, just asking questions.

I also dislike his bit about 'how do the non-believers answer that one'. I'm not against him saying it! I just feel it's a bit silly to even think that way in a world where super heroes exist. "So those guys who should have been shot and weren't? You're asking me how did they survive if it wasn't a miracle of God? Um, how about, well, SUPER HEROES?!"

I don't believe any of the Master Plan nonsense. My answer to all of Cap's questions here is his first answer: luck. But I like this characterization of him. This feels right! This works.

Except I have a bad feeling they won't go far enough with it or they'll handle it poorly further down the line. But I guess I'll have to read more than 4 pages to find out!

These four pages also show that this Captain Atom is heavily inspired by Doctor Manhattan. Who, of course, was heavily inspired by Captain Atom. But the beginning to this comic reads like Doctor Manhattan has taken over and the Captain Atom from the old Justice League days is definitely gone. He may have been gone 8 years ago but I haven't been reading comics for awhile!

And just like that, in the space between paragraphs, I've finished reading it!

This comic does everything the first two issues does but better. The first two issues were extremely boring and definitely not needed. This one shows how Captain Atom feels about his power and his place in the world. This issue shows Captain Atom's powers at work. This issue shows how the other Super Heroes feel mistrustful of him.

In three intriguing panels, it shows us the mystery Villain of the Month better than in the four or five pages used previously. Sure, we know less about him here. But the mystery and tension are so much fucking better!



Even the Continuum, the laboratory where Captain Atom spends his down time, is introduced better here! When he complains that the other heroes have families and jobs and homes to go home to. He has a lab. And the panel shows him arriving. That's all they need! You can fill stuff in later, little by little!

Even if this was the first time we see his co-worker Ranita, we can see how much she cares for him. And how much Scott (who I think may be involved with Ranita) dislikes him!

If this were the first comic of the series, it would be rated just between Aquaman and Justice League International. But because this is the third issue (but I will henceforth refer to it as Issue #1 and forget about those others), I'm leaving it at the current bottom of the rankings. If the next issue is well done, it'll pass up Flash. If it's really well done, I'll move it ahead of Justice League!

Prove yourselves, Storytellers Krul and Williams!

Captain Atom #2

Captain Atom's impression of this issue.

There really is no story here. Not in the first two issues. It looks like the 'storytellers' (yes, that's how they're credited. 'writer/artist storytellers') JT Krul and Freddie Williams II are building a slow plot about a rat that ingests other creatures into it so that it becomes this rat/demon/bum amalgam! It's the least exciting build-up to a Villain of the Month I've ever seen! Plus it ends with this timely gem for next issue:




Captain Atom, like Flash, narrates the comic book as if he's telling the story to an audience. That trope is getting a bit annoying. If the narration were supposed to be thought bubbles, the tone would be different. It might make some kind of sense. The writer is setting up a narrative voice which is different than an internal monologue. But he's using the narration as the character's thoughts for the current panels. So when Captain Atom think-narrates:

CA: The trace elements were far more challenging--chlorine, potassium, sulfur.

It reads like a hybrid of narration to the reader to understand what is happening as Captain Atom reforms but it's also in Cap's voice for what he's thinking as he currently reforms. I could probably live with this approach and not complain or be bothered. But when the next narration box says this:

CA: Yeah, we got a little sulfur sloshing around inside our bodies. Go figure.

it tries my patience. Who the fuck are you talking to, Captain Atom?!

Now, I'm pretty sure I've done the same thing in Dwarf Lover. At least in the beginning when the story was being narrated by Kohk Korunch. But you do learn later that this is all shit he's kept in a journal.

Maybe what we have here is Captain Atom's diary. He probably settles down at the end of the day in some lead lined containment field and writes down the thoughts of his day. But I think what we really have here is a writer, sorry, storyteller who honed his craft on movies with omniscient narrators who were also characters in the film who were telling the tale of the film with the knowledge that they were speaking to an audience.

Or a narrator who is writing what we're currently seeing.

I might not be bothered with any of this crap if I was just reading the comics one after another. But since I'm spending at least 3 bucks per comic, I need to get more entertainment out of them than a quick five minute read. Thus this blog.

Okay, I'm still only on page two of Captain Atom #2 but I've got more complaining to do about it! Captain Atom seems to need to concentrate on putting himself together. He says, "I hated biology. But after my accident, I didn't have much of a choice, had to learn the basics if I wanted to stay in form, stay being me."

So apparently he needs to know exactly how the human body works to maintain the human body shape (minus his penis and testicles). But after the accident, without any of this knowledge, he was able to reform himself and come back looking like a man and not a jar of peanut butter. So I suspect he doesn't actually need to know that information. Maybe he only needs to know it if he wants to eat something and then have a nice, satisfying bowel movement.

But if he has to continually concentrate or he'll lose form, does he sleep? Instead of morning erections, would he wake up with morning transmogrifications?

As I said, there really isn't much of a plot yet. It seems we're just learning about Captain Atom and his powers. While in New York, we find that he can pick up wi-fi of some sort or another.


The tweets are hurting his head.

I'm not sure what the ticker is in the upper left corner. It seems to be moving upwards, days, hours, so forth. The 6574 behind the ticker could be years although I don't know enough about Captain Atom to know why the number would be so high. Also, at one point in the first issue, they fucked up and the ticker went backwards by a couple of hours. Unless the storytellers will invent a reason for it later to make it seem like it wasn't a mistake.

So Captain Atom can reassemble molecules. He can lose form but still is able to reform even after totally losing cohesion. He can pick up all the world's communications.

Captain Atom picks up a signal from a boy with brain cancer and sets off to heal the boy. One Fantastic Journey later and Captain Atom succeeds:



He follows up the healing thought with "...instead of being destructive." Which is odd since the majority of his first issue was about stopping destruction. Sure, it wasn't healing. So the image works fine. Without the stupid conclusion of being destructive.

So in a very boring first two issues, we learn a little bit about Captain Atom. Mostly I learned that I wouldn't continue reading this comic although I already knew I never would have purchased it anyway.

But lucky for Captain Atom, I'm going to keep buying all 52 of DC's New 52 for the time being. My comic book store offers 25% off if you have them pull 51+ issues for you! So I'll just accept that 1/4 of the comics I'm buying (13!) are freebies and not worry about how crappy they are!

Maybe Issue #3 will be more exciting!

Captain Atom #1

This is Captain Atom. I vaguely remember him from his time in Justice League Europe. He was kind of the straight man of the group. Even Martian Manhunter in Justice League seemed more whimsical than this guy.

I also remember he played some pretty big roles in big DC crossovers. But my memory of those things is kind of vague. Most of them seemed to play out like this:

A new evil super hero has appeared on the scene but nobody knows he is! And he's so super powerful, it's going to take all the world's superheroes to defeat him! Finally, the Crossover Super Super Villain turns out to be one of the super heroes gone mad! Or power hungry! Or crazy!

I'm pretty sure this happened to Hawk. And I think it happened to Hal Jordan. And it might have happened to Captain Atom as well. But I could be wrong about that.

I remember a stupid mini-series where Captain Atom and Monarch went back 1 Million years into the past.

Now I'll find out if this guy can be made interesting. Maybe I'm the only one who was ever completely bored by him.

In this new incarnation, he looks a like a cross between Infinity, Inc.'s Nuklon and Doctor Manhattan from Watchman. I know, nerds, I know. Manhattan was inspired by Captain Atom.

My first question while reading the comic: where is Captain Atom's manhood? Is he controlling his body at the molecular level so well that he can fuzz out his own nakedness?

My second question: is that a mohawk or is his head on fire?

My third question: is Captain Atom ever going to not be boring?!

The first issue has Captain Atom realize he can change the molecular form of other objects. Isn't that pretty much what Firestorm does? Do we need this guy too?

He also discovers that if he doesn't concentrate, his own form can dissipate. And if his mind dissipates, he can't concentrate, and he'll dissipate completely.

Some old burnt guy in a wheelchair is his life coach.

A rat in San Francisco turns into a monster.

A volcano erupts in New York.

And, finally, Captain Atom loses control and begins to lose cohesion. After one issue where Captain Atom doesn't face anything awesome, he's already dying!

I wonder why DC keeps trying to make this guy one of the next big names? After reading the first four issues of Captain Atom, I'm going to be reading Firestorm! I hope I don't get completed bored with these nuclear transmogrifiers!

The Flash #4

Last issue we left Barry shot in the head. So that's what the readers want to read about this issue.

That's why this issue starts off with a nice long origin story about Mob Rule!



Manuel talks like a true Villain of the Month here. All black and white and needing meaning and a purpose no matter what the cost. When Barry says he's a scientist and not a hero, Manuel's return that Barry is selling himself short is just plain idiotic.

M: You gotta find something meaningful in your life...
B: I said I'm a scientist!
M: Take a stand!
B: I am! For science! I help solve crimes with science!
M: It's time you find out what that is for you.
B: IT'S SCIENCE!

After that flashback exchange, we see Mob Rule after having kidnapped Dr. Elias. And their motivation for their recent crime spree that started off the whole comic is a little Electric Sheepian: they want to live!

As an aside: I'd mentioned Multi-man earlier as being the old guy like Mob Rule. I was wrong. Multi-man is a villain who resurrects with a new super power every time he dies. Multiple Man is from Marvel and it looks like Peter David already played with the idea of the Multiples having independent minds and wanting to remain alive. So even if this comic wasn't about clones and was the way I wished it had been, Peter David (and Red Dwarf, remember!) already did it.

And so the Super Secret Origin Story continues as the clones tell Dr. Elias about Manuel.



Which one of those guys could regenerate? James Bond? Or Batman? I forget!

The origin story is told and we basically discover that Mob Rule is Planarian Man! Manuel is tortured by Basilisk (some terrorist organization that will probably start some kind of DC Crossover event at some point) and all of his fingers and toes and limbs that are cut off during the process become clones of him. Stupid clones who think the name Mob Rule is cool!

When the clones begin to die off, Manuel reacts:



It's like Manapul can't help himself! Someone has to run at some point in the comic because it's a Flash comic! I don't think any other comic makes this big a deal about running ever! It couldn't say, "Instead of helping us, he abandoned us"?

I guess that's worth 1 Speed Force Point. This issue isn't going to score very many though, what with The Flash being dead and all that!

Luckily, Manapul can't help himself and a page later Patty says, "I don't run away at the first sign of trouble." That's worth another point!


Does this count as a point? Sure! Why not?

Page Sixteen. Manuel Clone: Stop running and face the truth!
And then later on the same page: You don't have to run, not anymore.

Geez. This guy really can't stop using the running thing! At least get creative, SIR!

Anyway, near the end of the comic, we get back to The Flash. He froze up from all the choices and did indeed get shot. But just barely. As soon as the bullet touched his head, his instincts kicked in and he dodged it. But he somehow bashed his head into the wall afterward which somehow made it look like his brains had been splattered against the wall instead of looking like a guy falling and hitting his head. Again, Mob Rule must be truly stupid!

Barry chalks all this up to 'freezing' when prevented with too many choices. But that's just an inaccurate conclusion he makes after going over what happened:



Um, Barry? Sounds a bit like schizophrenia!

Man! Now that would make a great Flash comic as he thinks he's running around super fast but isn't.

Here's to hoping this entire run of The Flash isn't all about people running from the truth! Or running from their past! It's okay if they run from giant mutant killer fish though.

So after a few more running toward dangers and won't stop runnings and this is what I do running things so we remember this is a comic about a guy who runs, the issue ends with at least 8 Speed Force Points! I think the count was up to 5 and then they just finished off with a big speech about 'less thinking, more running'! Plus I forgot to add one for the cover which says "Too Much Too Fast"!

Here's hoping that The Flash gets more interesting Villains of the Month now that Captain Cold and the other Rogues have busted out of prison. Because this Mob Rule is just lame!

The Flash #3

In Issue #2, The Flash became some sort of living quantum computer where he can now analyze in a split gigasecond every possible action he can take and every possible outcome. Except he's not psychic so he actually doesn't know every possible outcome. Except in #2, when he's observing the robbery, the things he notices are all outcomes of actions he's thinking about possibly making. In the end, he chooses an action that stops the robbery and nobody gets hurt.

Apparently he even, somehow, took into account that the kid listening to the walkman wouldn't get crushed by the car that flipped because of the way he chained it to a pole (by the way, I'm straining to say that would never happen! But in a comic book where a guy runs at the speed of light, who cares, right?!). That was that picture of the car flipping from last post. It went right over a kid's head. Just like it seems The Flash knew it would.

Well, The Flash comic has always run (#1!) the most improbable comics and caused the most harm to the DC Universe! Crisis was practically all The Flash's fault! Which is probably why they killed him while condensing all the Earths.

Except Kid Flash still existed! And they made him even more powerful than Barry Allen!

Well now The Flash is starting over! Let's see how quickly he can fuck up the New DCU!

As for Issue #3:

Flash talks to himself constantly in this comic. At least that's what I thought at first. And then:


Who is he talking to? To whom is he directing his 'You have no idea' comment?

Is this comic like How I Met Your Mother? Is this some sort of diary to Wally West about how he met Iris West? But we're not supposed to know the kid he's talking to is Wally so the book starts out with Barry dating Patty and having dated Iris and probably doing a lot more women as well since he moves so fast (#2!)

You know, that might be what's going on here! In the first issue, Manuel goes on and on about how Barry hasn't ever found anyone worth taking a beating for! This comic is all about how The Flash met The Flash's Mother! I mean, Barry met Wally's mother!

On pages two and three, he is thinking to himself some more and explains his powers to himself beginning with a "You see...." He does this to make sure he knows (or we know?) that he can vibrate molecules so that he can pass right through solid objects.

We need to know this because he's going to attempt (and succeed!) to vibrate the molecules of an entire airplane and all of its passengers and every piece of luggage on it through a bridge.



Is he able to do this because he's in slight contact with the plane? And then he can vibrate the molecules of everyone and everything that's on the plane as well? I don't know!

Maybe he vibrates an area of space so that the molecules of one solid object can pass through another. Which would probably mean that all solid objects in this area would become, um, what? A kind of plasma? Still a solid but with very loose bonds? And normal people can survive this trick? How do the parts of the plane remain together as a plane if everything is vibrating to where they can pass through everything else? How does the pilot pilot the plane if they're vibrating in that weird way?

Am I supposed to believe that whatever is vibrating at a certain frequency can still interact with everything else at that frequency but exists on a separate material plane (#3!) than everything vibrating at a different frequency?!

Yeah, yeah! It's a super hero comic book! But fuck, SIR, do not test my limits of credulity!

I think I should extend my Speed Force Points to 'Ridiculous things the Flash can do'! That makes sense because the lower the comic's rating, the more serious The Flash comic is taking itself.

So I'm giving this feat by The Flash 5 Speed Force Points! Way to go! That means I should probably add some points to the Issue #2 for the unbelievable psychic ability he gives himself just by being able to think fast.

On pages 6 and 7 we get a hand pun that has to do with Multiple-Man and his Multiples. You know the one! "Give us a hand." But they mean it literally!

And then on page 8, we get this:


Yay! Captain Cold and the Rogue's Gallery!

I'm not sure why Captain Cold wants Iris West to tell The Flash, "Thank you." For putting him in prison? For causing the blackout he didn't cause? Because Cap met some cool friends (#4!) in prison?

Page Sixteen. Ha ha!


He can't keep up! But he's The Flash! Oh ho ho!

I think that gives the comic, so far, 6 Speed Force Points. And my blog entry has earned 4!

This one doesn't technically count toward the Speed Force Points Tally but it's earning the comic 1 more anyway!


Barry steps all over her joke and thinks that he made the pun.

Page 18. 2nd Panel. Barry says, "New plan..." 3rd Panel. Barry says, "RUN!" Ha ha! Since we, the reader, understand that that is the plan every time, it's funny! Also, Patty tells Barry to, "Get a move on!"

Final Page:


Mmm, cake!

So this The Flash scored 8 Speed Force Points as well as getting Barry Allen shot in the head! The great thing about him being shot in the head is that next issue will probably begin with something super ridiculous to show how he used his super speed to run to Broadway to get some fake blood and brains to splash on the wall and his head as he dodged the bullet but made himself up to look like he was killed and score Issue #4 some really nice Speed Force Points right off the bat!

Flash #2

I'm rating The Flash on Speed Force Points! These are points given for every speed/running/movement reference in the comic that isn't explicitly about speed/running/movement. It also scores a point for any little in-joke that only the reader understands in the context that Barry Allen is The Flash! POST UPDATE: I'm also adding points for ridiculous things The Flash does with his speed power! END UPDATE! Issue #1 scored 13. Let's see if we can beat it!

#0.5: Page Two. Does asking The Flash to count slowly count? I'll give it half a point!

#1: Page Four. I'm giving this next one another 1/2 point since it was used last issue. The name of this issue is 'Think Fast'.

#2: Page Five. Reference to the Cosmic Treadmill.



#3: Page Thirteen. License plate of car. It's been 8 pages so I have to give The Flash this one!



#4: Page Sixteen:



That's it? What kind of "ha ha we made another reference to his running" comic are we writing here? Is this an improvement in the DCnU? Only 4 Speed Force Points in a Flash comic?! I guess I should give this one another +3 for being so damn short. When did comics go to just 20 pages? It's like reading Cerebus!

So Issue #2 scores 7 Speed Force Points. That means it was taking itself a little more seriously! I think the lower the points, the better the story. But I'm warning you! You're messing with forces you can't comprehend when you change the whole tradition of writing Flash comics! You've been warned, Mr. Manapul!

POST UPDATE: I'm adding 3 Speed Force Points to this issue for The Flash's ridiculous ability to foresee the future just because he can think fast! So it earns 10!

Some Notes about the Issue:

It looks Villain of the Month Multi-man has decided to go with the name Mob Rule. It's stupid but who can argue with not wanting to keep the name Multi-man?

Also, Multi-man was being used in a military cloning experiment and it looks like they needed him and his parts to help keep the other clones alive. Lame! That's old hat, sirs! I liked my theory that maybe Multi-man had lost control over his clones and they decided to oust him from the group! Except I think I stole that from Red Dwarf where Rimmer creates Rimmer World. So maybe the military thing is fine.

Mario runs Central City's Iron Heights Prison:

Flash #1

First off, I'd like to make a correction about the creative team. Francis Manapul is the artist. Brian Buccellato is the colorist. And they co-wrote the first issue. I haven't been paying super close attention but I'm pretty sure this is the first of the 52 I'm reading that is written and drawn by the same person. It's like I'm reading an Independent Comic Book!

The Flash is a comic book about a guy who runs really fast. So the most important thing when writing Barry Allen/The Flash is to fill all of his dialogue with as many speed related puns or references to movement as possible! Some comments are also just comments that if made to a different person, you wouldn't think twice. But when said to The Flash, there's sort of a little nod and wink to the fact that he's the fastest man alive. Let's see how many Francis and Brian are capable of and I'll give each Flash comic a rating of Speed Force Points! A high rating means the writer never let you forget you're reading a comic about the fastest man alive!

#1: Page one.

Barry Allen's Date: I'm only kidding! I know this was a big step for you...
Barry Allen's Date: ...since it's only taken you two years to ask me out.
Barry Allen: I'm pretty methodical, Patty.

#2: Page seven.

Unknown Enemy: 33...think fast!
The Flash: Come on, guys. You're making this too...
The Flash: ...easy.

Now Page six had a few Slow him downs! and Less talking, more running! but those are directly related to the fact that he's running fast, so I won't count them.

#3: Page ten.

Dr. Elias: If there's ever anything I can do for you...
The Flash: I won't hesitate. Take care.

#4: Page thirteen. Because you know Barry could do that!

Director Singh: Barry! Where the hell is my report?!
Director Singh: I needed that report in my hand yesterday!

#5: Page sixteen. Manuel talking to Barry.

Manuel: Try to keep up this time.

#6: Page seventeen-eighteen. Manuel again talking to Barry.

Manuel: You of all people should know....
Manuel: ...we're always running from something.

#7: Page eighteen. I won't list the whole dialogue for this but Barry thinks back to some advice his mother gave him and it's all about movement and running as a metaphor for living.

#8: Page nineteen-twenty.

Barry Internal Monologue: He was always trying to stay ahead of his mistakes. Too busy outrunning ghosts to notice the friends he left behind. Friends like me. But the thing is...no matter how fast or how far you run...you can't outrun...yourself.

Not bad! Flash Issue #1 scores an 8 out of 20 Speed Force Points for running/speed references in normal dialogue not meant to reference The Flash running! And I'll give it a couple more Speed Force Points for the length of the two analogies on pages eighteen and nineteen. So let's make it 10 out of 20! And I'll give the comic 3 more Speed Force Points for only having 20 pages of comic! That's shorter than normal, right? So that's 13 Speed Force Points for #1! Good job, Manapul!

Some things about the story:

Iris West shows up on Page Nine as a 'Central City Citizen' (is that a newspaper? She is a reporter) to check if the Flash is okay. Wally West was Kid Flash. So Wally's mom? Maybe The Flash just had sex with her in-between two of the panels!

The Villain of the Month is Multi-man. I think that was his name in the old DCU. It looks like the take on this Multi-man is either Multi-man has lost the identity as #1 or the 'real' person. Or else he was just used for his DNA to make clones. But whatever the case, he's being pursued by his own selves. And Barry seems to know him from college.

One more note: Captain Cold did not appear in this comic. Not yet, anyway!


That's me as Captain Cold! And, apparently, my date, Captain Bowling!