The New Teen Titans #27 (January 1987)

The Titans continue to fail to save Dick and Raven. They’ve forgotten all about Aqualad held captive by Mento. Their most notable accomplishment so far is not getting Jason Todd killed while they babysit him. I have a feeling they won’t be doing much more than fighting for their lives over the next four issues as they battle Brother Blood. Maybe if they defeat Blood, I’ll admit they did something good for the world although technically their main goal is to save Nightwing and Raven.

Even if Jason Todd were into Garbage Pail Kids, he wouldn't fucking admit it. He's got a street rep to maintain! Plus he recently saw heaven (and its back gate) for the first time!

Number of Issues In Which The Titans Save Anybody Other Than Themselves: 1 out of 27.

The New Teen Titans #26 (December 1986)

The Titans leave Aqualad in the hands of Mento and The Hybrid so that they can rescue Nightwing and Raven from Brother Blood. To be fair, Raven and Nightwing were taken first. But whatever the case, the Titans are still just defending themselves. They might soon accidentally save the world from Brother Blood by defeating his church before they even show any intent to take over the world. Simply because they have a thing against Blood’s religion. Jerks.

At some point in this story, Wonder Girl gets a boner.

Jason Todd decides to help them out on this mission, hoping to see another vagina.

Do I want to know how he got the nickname "The King of Squirts"?

I know, I know! Squirt just means a little guy. But it also could mean he came in his little green undies when he stared directly into Cheshire's love bucket. I think he clearly saw her butthole too. I'm so fucking jealous right now.

Cyborg's logic circuit briefly went on the fritz.

This issue also outs Jericho.

And this is why Kole died a virgin.

Number of Issues In Which The Titans Do Something Heroic: 1 out of 26. And I’m beginning to think I gave them too much credit for that one.