Unless Captain Marvel lights that boulder on fire, his plan isn't going to work.
The Gray Man continues his attack on language by modifying every noun with the word gray. I'm surprised at how depressed I got just reading that word over and over and over. I was weeping and rending my garments screaming, "Just spell it with an 'e' one time! JUST ONE TIME!" But he never did because he's The Gray Man and not The Grey Man. I don't even know what the fucking difference is. I'm pretty sure if you search my blog, I just switch back and forth between spellings, even in the exact same sentence. But I won't do that here because he's The Fucking Gray Man With an A! Get it?!
That joke was just for Doom Bunny who doesn't even read my blog anymore so now nobody gets it at all. I'm so depressed!
Know what's even more depressing? The Gray Man is an old man wearing a turtle neck who's full of rage from being forced to sit and watch life go by without any laughter. If this comic book wasn't written in 1987, I'd swear it was an analogy about Fox News viewers.
That joke was just for Doom Bunny who doesn't even read my blog anymore so now nobody gets it at all. I'm so depressed!
Know what's even more depressing? The Gray Man is an old man wearing a turtle neck who's full of rage from being forced to sit and watch life go by without any laughter. If this comic book wasn't written in 1987, I'd swear it was an analogy about Fox News viewers.
Just try to tell me that your first thought wasn't, "That dude's been watching too much Fox."
Quite a few years ago, I met up with an old friend of mine whom I met when we were like ten or something. We met in Los Angeles where he was getting yet another surgery on his eyes after having his eyelids burned off due to a roadside bomb in Iraq. After that happened, he not only found God but Fox News as well. I blame the trauma from the explosion and the survivor's guilt from being the only survivor and the fact that Christians and Conservatives constantly virtue signal their love of the military. So he found his new tribe. Anyway, we had adjoining rooms at the hotel and I was watching Comedy Central and laughing my ass off so he wandered in at some point through the shared door and said, "What the hell are you laughing at? I'm just in there watching Fox News." And that, for me, was sadder than the fact that my friend had been blown up in a bullshit war and traumatized for life. It was salt in the wounds. I mean, why the fuck would you choose to watch Fox News when on that same device that plays that fucked up shit are channels where you can enjoy cartoons and humor and old fucking game shows?! WHO CHOOSES THAT SHIT?!
Maybe The Gray Man is both a victim of Fox News and Fox News itself because his power is to create duplicates of himself that go out into the public and steal the hopes and dreams of everybody they encounter. He manages to do it to one entire town and also to everybody on the Justice League. But Doctor Fate teleports them outside of space and time when The Gray Man is distracted. The only two who get away are Captain Marvel and Martian Manhunter because they were smashing rocks over each other's heads instead of trying to stop The Gray Man.
I suppose The Gray Man was probably meant to represent something other than Fox News since Fox News didn't exist yet. But what he was meant to represent is pretty much what Fox News has done to its audience. Life has lost all joy for The Gray Man. He's exiled to the sidelines, powerless, useless. All he can do is watch and get angry as other people go about their lives enjoying things that he can't enjoy. He can't enjoy them because he's been forced by the Lords of Order to remain outside of existence so he can collect dream stuff. Fox viewers can't enjoy themselves because they believe all of Hannity's and Carlson's and Ingraham's lies about liberals and how we're constantly trading babies for blow jobs from Satan and calling guns "cunts" and jerking off on the American flag (in a disrespectful way and not in a loving way like how they do it).
The point I'm trying to make is that Batman failed. Batman left the only two Justice League members with powers outside bashing each other with rocks after he knocked unconscious the one with the most powerful weapon in the universe. I suppose Black Canary could still scream or something but we all understand that that power is shit. Oh, I forgot about Doctor Fate. He can do magic and Batman was lucky he wasn't still enthralled by The Gray Man. Unless Doctor Fate magicked them all to Hell and then I suppose nobody is lucky?
Justice League #6 Rating: C. This comic book wasn't just average it was gray average with a side of grey.
Maybe The Gray Man is both a victim of Fox News and Fox News itself because his power is to create duplicates of himself that go out into the public and steal the hopes and dreams of everybody they encounter. He manages to do it to one entire town and also to everybody on the Justice League. But Doctor Fate teleports them outside of space and time when The Gray Man is distracted. The only two who get away are Captain Marvel and Martian Manhunter because they were smashing rocks over each other's heads instead of trying to stop The Gray Man.
I suppose The Gray Man was probably meant to represent something other than Fox News since Fox News didn't exist yet. But what he was meant to represent is pretty much what Fox News has done to its audience. Life has lost all joy for The Gray Man. He's exiled to the sidelines, powerless, useless. All he can do is watch and get angry as other people go about their lives enjoying things that he can't enjoy. He can't enjoy them because he's been forced by the Lords of Order to remain outside of existence so he can collect dream stuff. Fox viewers can't enjoy themselves because they believe all of Hannity's and Carlson's and Ingraham's lies about liberals and how we're constantly trading babies for blow jobs from Satan and calling guns "cunts" and jerking off on the American flag (in a disrespectful way and not in a loving way like how they do it).
The point I'm trying to make is that Batman failed. Batman left the only two Justice League members with powers outside bashing each other with rocks after he knocked unconscious the one with the most powerful weapon in the universe. I suppose Black Canary could still scream or something but we all understand that that power is shit. Oh, I forgot about Doctor Fate. He can do magic and Batman was lucky he wasn't still enthralled by The Gray Man. Unless Doctor Fate magicked them all to Hell and then I suppose nobody is lucky?
Justice League #6 Rating: C. This comic book wasn't just average it was gray average with a side of grey.
You OK dude? Your readership misses you here. Times are bonkers. If you’ve got it in you, howzabout another heartfelt Justice League review? For the good of humanity. Or something approximating that.
ReplyDeleteI have a readership?!
DeleteI sometimes get burnt out on comics. Been spending my writing time on my text adventure review site and reading (and sometimes writing about on my Quasi Thinking Tumblr) Gravity's Rainbow.
I'll get back to comics soon! Although I don't know about "heartfelt." I don't think that's an adjective that's ever been used to describe my reviews. Thanks?
Antiphrasis.
ReplyDelete