Who the fuck is this guy?
This was 1940 when strange adults were allowed to smack little kids committing acts of vandalism so I imagine Scribbly's second memory was getting the tar beat out of him by the two cement layers standing nearby watching him fuck up their work.
Forty years later and it's 1980! Scribbly is now an editorial cartoonist (specializing in super hero jokes) and still a virgin! It's okay to call him a virgin because it's a fact and not an insult. Some facts just seem like insults because they're so embarrassing. But that's you projecting Scribbly's embarrassment onto him. He wasn't embarrassed about not ever having sex with women like he always wanted to because he would just lie and tell everybody that he totally had sex and started having sex at two years old like a manly toddler man.
Scribbly was not just an editorial cartoonist but also a reporter for the Metropolis Piece Of Shit Gazette. He was also the janitor and the night watchman. He loved his job and loved superheroes. But most of all he loved...he loved Metropolis!
Five years later, Crisis on Infinite Earths began threatening Earth-2 with destruction. But Scribbly kept right on scribbling!
Scribbly was also kind of stupid in a lot of little ways. He might even be able to take over Ann Nocenti's Knowledge Fun Farm!
It also could have been the earthquake that screwed up the rescue attempt. But who's to say that Speedy didn't cause the earthquake, hmm?
Sir Justin and his trusty Pegasus (which means, probably, "stupid jerk that doesn't know horses can't fly") swoop in and save the Scribbly's day! But he can't save Green Arrow or Speedy's day so they just fall on the street below and die. It's totally hilarious.
And then the dome fell. Victory the Pegasus lost her wings. Excalibur lost its razor sharp edge (unless Sir Justin's sword's name was Stormbringer). And Sir Justin himself began to age. Because he's like 2000 years old or something.
After the dome fell, life went on. Just like in all the other Convergence issues! Scribbly kept doing editorial cartoons and not all of them featured a comment on the dome.
Some dealt with dying heroes! This one is particularly humorous.
But then one day while Scribbly is off flirting with Victory, the dome fell! Victory's wings returned! Excalibur's blade grew sharp! Sir Justin became young and sexually virile again! And Scribbly was already thinking of a hilarious cartoon about the dome disappearing and a lone tear dropping from Superman's eye as he flies past an eagle tap dancing on Hitler's grave!
And then...SURPRISE!...Telos! Boy, I thought it was going to be different this time.
Sir Justin and Scribbly are the world's finest?
Convergence: World's Finest #1 Rating: We don't get characters like Scribbly too often nowadays, do we? Or characters like Ma Hunkel's Red Tornado! Is that a good thing? Probably. I think I'm going to take over Scribbly's job as an editorial cartoonist! And heres's my first cartoon:
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