Justice League 3000 #9

Can you believe it? Giffen and DeMatteis had a comic book last longer than eight issues!

Every time somebody says the word "daybreak," I hear "date rape." And I don't like to constantly hear about date rape. So I think people should stop using the word "daybreak." I know it's all in my head but if somebody accidentally steps on my toes, they should stop doing that because it hurts. I'm just trying to live my life without having to hear the phrase "date rape." I don't think it's too much to ask that other people make all of the effort on this. I try not to hear "date rape" but I do. Every time! So there's nothing left for it but for everybody to drop the word "daybreak" from their vocabulary. In fact, I'd like people to say "the D-Mishear" whenever they would normally say "daybreak." And I don't want to hear from anybody that says they never hear "date rape" when somebody says "daybreak" because this isn't about you. Check your privilege.

Meanwhile in the comic book, Batman has some expository dialogue to get through.

Yep, yep. That's how things were left at the end of last issue.

This issue, the plan is all about running away as fast and as far as possible. It's a sensible plan, really! The JL3k Gang are full of micro-explosives that can be detonated remotely, so that sucks. Also sucking, Locus, one of their enemies, can wish anything into (or out of!) existence. She's a genie of sorts and she's in love with an astronaut: Hal Jordan. Wait, he was just a test pilot, wasn't he? I bet he never made the cut for astronaut training because he always failed the written tests. Are there written tests to become an astronaut? I think there are written tests for every career. Even prostitution.

While Hal remains behind on Cadmusworld to delay Locus, the rest of the team make their unwilling escape. I mean, they want to escape! But they don't want to do it without Hal. But Hal forces them through the teleport with a big green hand construct. Now all he has to do is distract Locus by fucking her, and everything should be swell.

Why isn't he fucking her?! Idiot!

Instead of enjoying a nice, romantic evening slapping pee pees with Locus, Green Lantern spins her into unconsciousness and makes his escape. He could have spun her into unconsciousness on his pee-pee but he uses his magic cape instead. What is wrong with him? She might be crazy cuckoo but she's crazy sexy too! As Green Lantern leaves, Superman arrives to help Teri, the new Flash.

Why does "romance" have "man" in it. That's disgusting. From now on, it should be rowomance. No wait! Woman has man in it too, so that doesn't work. Maybe it should be rogrrlance. Is that a little too catchy? Yeah, probably. Forget I said anything.

Teri the Flash's story might be ten pages long but this is probably all you need to know about her mission.

The different panel sizes is really annoying.

Superman comes back to get Teri the Flash off-world and the issue ends.

Justice League 3000 Rating: No change. Next issue says "final" in it as if it's the final issue although it might actually be just the final battle between the JL3k Gang and the Fatal Five. It's hard to believe that a Giffen/DeMatteis series has lasted so long! Two issues past normal cancellation. What is the world coming to?