Just pretend I said the most obvious thing you can think of about this cover. I'm too depressed to care.
Speaking of not being in touch with reality and zombie flicks, all y'all that participate in those zombie crawls had better fucking be careful! All it takes is one schizophrenic with access to a shotgun and a penchant for zombie films to stumble around the wrong corner and think, "Holy fuck! I need to save the world!" I have a feeling this kind of thing already happened once in Seattle a number of years ago. That might be the one time I could let somebody off for mass murder. You'd have to realize their heart was in the right place when they came back to the scene of the zombie invasion with a shotgun intent on saving the world. People always say it's the intent that counts, right?! Do they say that? I don't know if they say that. I don't interact with a lot of people.
I'm already starting to tear up and get sad!
Hopefully what I just wrote happens even though it's sad to think about. I like the idea of this character I've been following and fallen in love with, this Jonah Hex, will have a complete story told within the thirty four issues of this comic book. It feels right. The only other ending I can imagine is that our Jonah Hex will be maimed in the fight and survive with the same disfiguring scar as before. But I hope that won't be the case. I truly hope Jonah, this Jonah--our Jonah--dies in the upcoming battle.
Now excuse me while I read the rest of this comic book without comment. I need a private moment.
Dammit! I can't just keep reading without commenting on this!
George Barrow was the name of the man that killed Jonah Hex in old continuity!
The man helping out this timeline's Jonah Hex (who doesn't have as impressive a scar as we're all used to but you can never know what's going on from artist to artist. This guy could just be an imposter by the looks of him) is named Wheeler. Lew Wheeler was the name of the man what killed George Barrow. All this is detailed in DC's 1985 Who's Who series! So now I'm not sure what's going to happen! Maybe this guy is a fake because his scar sucks and the guy coming into town right now to kill him is the real real Jonah Hex and our Jonah Hex is going to just walk away while they kill each other! And then maybe another Jonah Hex from Earth-36 will appear and he'll marry Amadeus Arkham! That should be the All Star Western Annual #1 story!
After seeing the fake Jonah Hex, I don't want that thing I first said I want to happen happen. He's a pudgy, ugly, uncharismatic train wreck. I want my Jonah Hex to live!
After Tallulah goes to sleep, Jonah heads over to confront fake as fuck Jonah Hex. And he heads over with a hatchet, so it looks like he's going to get that corpse looking just right for the part as a future stuffed oddity! Jonah isn't going to change the grim future he saw; he's going to make it happen. He's my kind of guy with a keen understanding of time travel!
Actually, Jonah's just a murderous dope that kills a guy because he was pretending to be him. Then he and Tallulah walk away as Lew Farnham (Farnum, Farnham...it's spelled differently in two different places in the book) takes the body of the fake Jonah to add to his show. Wheeler just gets the name of Hex's killer from Jonah which is George Barrow. And so the story is retold letting Jonah Hex live. I liked my version as well but since I like this character so much, I'm glad he'll be around for more stories later. Especially since the fake Jonah Hex was a horrid lout!
Aw! He even does the "you're an X" elementary school comeback! I love him so much!
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