How dare this cover tease me like this!
All of which makes me wonder why they even try things like putting out a Vibe comic book? The character isn't going to sell the book. Did they think adding "Justice League of America" on the cover would sell the book? Maybe it would be Geoff Johns name that made the difference (even though it went to Sterling Gates very quickly)? But you know what's not helping the book? The fact that it's actually fun and entertaining. Have comics simply hit a price point that makes it too hard to convince people to try out a title? Why would I want to spend $2.99 per month on a Vibe comic book? I'd probably rather pick up Ann Nocenti's Catwoman for that so I can get two dollars and ninety-nine cents worth of ranting and raving about how awful it is. Although I am enjoying the art!
What was I saying? Oh yeah! I hope this cover is simply a metaphor for a big change coming in the Teen Titans comic book! Like a change of writer!
The issue begins with Lex still obsessing over the phrase "survival of the fittest."
Man, now I see why normal humans are so afraid of the X-men! Just a matter of time before Homo Superior are the only Homos in town!
Lex runs into a security guard named Otis because I'm certain that Lex needs an unfittest to showcase his fittest later in the story. So, sorry to have to inform you, Otis: you're not going to make it.
Meanwhile the Teen Titans are in San Francsico for some reason. Are they going to move there in their Yacht Headquarters soon? I hope so because we need more West Coast super heroes! Even if they are the shittiest of the bunch. I'll take anybody to fill out the ranks of Green Arrow and...well, that's pretty much it right now. Unless Power Girl's Starr Island is just off the coast of California somewhere.
Only a matter of time now, Timmy, before everybody knows your secret!
Back in Happy Harbor, The Crime Syndicate are conflicted on what to do next. Johnny Quick and Atomica run off to cause as much chaos and destruction as they can. Owlman wants to turn the world into a version of his Earth 3 Gotham City where he allowed everybody to live, keeping the infrastructure in place, and controlled them through violence and fear. Power Ring wants to simply hide because, I assume, being the opposite of Green Lantern, he's filled with great fear. But Ultraman feels they need to prepare for something coming. Probably whatever destroyed Earth 3. Which, I believe, was Darkseid. Superwoman doesn't get a say, apparently. And Deathstorm is just a burning ball of ashy corpses molded into the shape of a human. Or something. I don't know what the fuck that guy does. Perhaps he can only manipulate organic matter being that he's Firestorm's opposite. Although if they were all really opposite the way Power Ring and Ultraman are (Ultraman in that Kryptonite gives him power and the sun hurts hims), then Johnny Quick would be really slow and Owlman would be really stupid and clumsy.
Meanwhile they've got the man they call The Hitchhiker tied up with his head covered. My guess is it's Earth 3's Lex Luthor since he's an enemy of the Crime Syndicate. But he seems to have some kind of power to pit people against each other. Ultraman is keeping him alive to use against Darkseid should Darkseid follow them to this Earth.
Ultraman heads to Kahndaq to deal with Black Adam. Deathstorm and Power Ring are sent off to Central City to deal with the Rogues. And Owlman and Superwoman discuss their unborn child.
And David Finch fucks up the sequence of events by sending Ultraman to Kahndaq while also leaving him inside to say, "Ha!"
Sorry, Otis. You just weren't fit enough.
Bizarro's origin story!
I think Victor needs a lot more than his father.