Forever Evil #2

How dare this cover tease me like this!

DC probably feels that having Scott Lobdell on Teen Titans is good enough since the characters that make up the Teen Titans have a huge and loyal fandom that are willing to purchase the book even with the shitty writing. But can you imagine if they had an amazing writer heading Teen Titans? I have a feeling that book could rival X-Men monthly numbers if you had fans of the Teen Titans and fans of great comic books purchasing it. But I truly believe that DC doesn't think writing matters. Their marketing department probably believes that books simply sell because of the characters on the cover and, maybe, the name of the artist as well.

All of which makes me wonder why they even try things like putting out a Vibe comic book? The character isn't going to sell the book. Did they think adding "Justice League of America" on the cover would sell the book? Maybe it would be Geoff Johns name that made the difference (even though it went to Sterling Gates very quickly)? But you know what's not helping the book? The fact that it's actually fun and entertaining. Have comics simply hit a price point that makes it too hard to convince people to try out a title? Why would I want to spend $2.99 per month on a Vibe comic book? I'd probably rather pick up Ann Nocenti's Catwoman for that so I can get two dollars and ninety-nine cents worth of ranting and raving about how awful it is. Although I am enjoying the art!

What was I saying? Oh yeah! I hope this cover is simply a metaphor for a big change coming in the Teen Titans comic book! Like a change of writer!

The issue begins with Lex still obsessing over the phrase "survival of the fittest."

For being the smartest guy on Earth, he sure is binary about his way of thinking. First off, only two ways to interpret a quotation? I'm fairly certain that's wrong but I haven't put any actual thought into my reasoning because why should I since it's so fucking obvious? But also, the quote points out the fallacy of thinking that survival of the fittest is about being strong. And then Lex jumps all over the quote and turns it into about being smart! Fucking idiot. Fittest simply means most fit to survive current conditions! So the fittest could be a creature that's slightly more green than its mates! Sometimes, like in Gotham City (according to Ogilvy (you know, Emperor Blackgate?)), fittest means not being too smart! The main point of the quote that Lex is missing is that survival of the fittest is generally just a passive trait that a creature plays no part in attaining or creating.

Man, now I see why normal humans are so afraid of the X-men! Just a matter of time before Homo Superior are the only Homos in town!

Lex runs into a security guard named Otis because I'm certain that Lex needs an unfittest to showcase his fittest later in the story. So, sorry to have to inform you, Otis: you're not going to make it.

Meanwhile the Teen Titans are in San Francsico for some reason. Are they going to move there in their Yacht Headquarters soon? I hope so because we need more West Coast super heroes! Even if they are the shittiest of the bunch. I'll take anybody to fill out the ranks of Green Arrow and...well, that's pretty much it right now. Unless Power Girl's Starr Island is just off the coast of California somewhere.

Only a matter of time now, Timmy, before everybody knows your secret!

After a full month of more often than not mediocre stories of villain after villain, I'm just happy to see some heroes finally in action! Even if they are the Teen Titans! Perhaps a preponderance of my glee stems from the lack of Scott Lobdell influencing their characters here.

Back in Happy Harbor, The Crime Syndicate are conflicted on what to do next. Johnny Quick and Atomica run off to cause as much chaos and destruction as they can. Owlman wants to turn the world into a version of his Earth 3 Gotham City where he allowed everybody to live, keeping the infrastructure in place, and controlled them through violence and fear. Power Ring wants to simply hide because, I assume, being the opposite of Green Lantern, he's filled with great fear. But Ultraman feels they need to prepare for something coming. Probably whatever destroyed Earth 3. Which, I believe, was Darkseid. Superwoman doesn't get a say, apparently. And Deathstorm is just a burning ball of ashy corpses molded into the shape of a human. Or something. I don't know what the fuck that guy does. Perhaps he can only manipulate organic matter being that he's Firestorm's opposite. Although if they were all really opposite the way Power Ring and Ultraman are (Ultraman in that Kryptonite gives him power and the sun hurts hims), then Johnny Quick would be really slow and Owlman would be really stupid and clumsy.

Meanwhile they've got the man they call The Hitchhiker tied up with his head covered. My guess is it's Earth 3's Lex Luthor since he's an enemy of the Crime Syndicate. But he seems to have some kind of power to pit people against each other. Ultraman is keeping him alive to use against Darkseid should Darkseid follow them to this Earth.

Ultraman heads to Kahndaq to deal with Black Adam. Deathstorm and Power Ring are sent off to Central City to deal with the Rogues. And Owlman and Superwoman discuss their unborn child.

And David Finch fucks up the sequence of events by sending Ultraman to Kahndaq while also leaving him inside to say, "Ha!"

While Lex Luthor releases Bizarro from his incubator five years early before he dies inside of it with the power out, the Teen Titans make their first assault against the Crime Syndicate. They're only going up against Johnny Quick and Atomica for now. Which, I would think, gives them a pretty good chance of winning!

Sorry, Otis. You just weren't fit enough.

Over at the Teen Titans fight, they don't do anything successfully. Just like normal! Atomica goes down Wonder Girl's throat for some reason that will probably be explained later and Johnny Quick fucks with Kid Flash which causes a vortex that sucks the Teen Titans into the future. Which is fucking ridiculous but I don't know exactly in what way it's ridiculous. I pointed out in the pages of Teen Titans how the they were supposed to wind up in the future last issue and then the entire issue was about them fighting back and saving Kid Flash from the time vortex. But now they've been sucked forward through time anyway. Smells like more editorial interference. They probably told Scott Lobdell they needed the Titans in the present for Forever Evil but then promised him they'll get them to the future for him so he can continue his story in the pages of Teen Titans.

Bizarro's origin story!

And then the issue ends with the first inklings that the Justice League didn't die! Whew. I was so fucking worried that DC had decided that Batman and Superman and Wonder Woman and Green Lantern and The Flash weren't making enough money for the company and they had decided to go in a new direction. But at least they kept The Goddamned one!

I think Victor needs a lot more than his father.

Forever Evil #2 Rating: No change. My favorite part about this series is that it feels like a story is being told and events that matter are moving forward. Not that I need dramatic changes in the DCnU. But I'd like to read stories that seem to matter. Enough with Catwoman running around the Gotham Underworld looking for a guy she barely knows because she got caught up in a gang war with The Penguin when she refused to pay him a percentage of her jobs and instead robbed his mother's grave. How does any of this actually matter to Catwoman? She's simply a boulder falling down a hill and reacting to whatever stupid shit Nocenti can dream up. I want to read stories that matter to Catwoman and her character and her reasons for doing what she does, her dreams for herself and the fears and desires that drive her. I want more comic books like The Flash where it always feels like they're building on the story of Barry Allen and Keystral City. Forever Evil feels like it's building on the world and, mostly, Lex Luthor. But it also keeps mentioning Kord Industries and is probably going to reintroduce Ted Kord by the end of it. So that's the main reason I like it.