Friday, June 28, 2013

Red Lanterns #21

The other Red Lanterns might as well retire now.

The ending of last issue left everything as if the Red Lanterns were finally going to get their shit together and make something of their Corps. Atrocitus felt better after killing a Guardian. Rankorr had come to terms with his Red Lanterness. Bleez had shown true leadership when she pointed out the Inversions were about as effective as a stale fart. It all seemed like they were going places! But I guess it all fell apart when Peter Milligan left. And now I can't even speculate as to how this issue will begin. Probably Atrocitus over-analyzing some philosophical fluff.

3 out of 10 for my guess? It's Atrocitus! And the other Red Lantern is fluffy!

Atrocitus declares that the Red Lanterns are done being tools of the Guardians and the other spectrum corps. Now they will concentrate all of their power on making their one true enemies bleed!

Um. Who are those enemies?

The scene shifts to Hal Jordan and Guy Gardner in a garage. Judging by the juxtaposition of the two scenes, I'm guessing that motorcycles are the enemy of the Red Lanterns. Oh! Or Green Lanterns!

Since Hal asked Kyle to keep an eye on the Guardians, perhaps he'll ask Guy to keep an eye on the Red Lanterns. That would make a lot of sense especially if the Green Lanterns are the one true enemy of the Red Lanterns. But I don't know why Guy would accept a crappy job like that. Who wants heartburn twenty four hours a day. Or longer if you happen to be on a planet with a slower rotation than Earth!

Hee hee. Hal called himself dumb. And Guy laughed. I love you, Guy!

Hal informs Guy that, like it or not, Hal is now leading the Green Lanterns. And that they might need somebody with anger management issues to maybe go undercover in the Red Lanterns to make sure that the Red Lanterns aren't planning on attacking them. Guy Gardner is understandably hesitant about the entire ordeal, having spewed lava vomit before. He's willing to think about it though. That seems crazy. I never read any stories in which Guy was a Red Lantern but I'm guessing he was a bit more coherent than the majority of them or why would he even agree? The Red Ring might make him crazy angry but as long as he retains a semblance of Guy Gardner, it might not be a bad idea. Perhaps, like on the cover, if he keeps the Green Ring as well, he'll have even more control over his mind and actions.

Meanwhile on Ysmault, Atrocitus has sent out ten more rings to find ten new recruits. And he's about to begin Red Lantern Boot Camp where Rankorr will teach everybody how to make Red Light Constructs! Well that should be easy if all it takes, as Bleez believes, is for a Red Lantern to taste Rankorr's blood.

Get it?! Not bloody likely?!

Back at the Warrior's Bar on Oa, Guy Gardner decides to reenlist with the Red Lanterns because of a red and green drink that doesn't sound like it should taste good but does when all of the ingredients are mixed together just right. It's some kind of zen bartender thing. So Guy returns to Ysmault to volunteer.

That's a keen observation, Guy. Not the Dex-starr thing! The other thing!

The previous Narration Boxes and the ones that follow are all things Guy is thinking about to get himself worked up and pissed off enough to earn a Red Ring. My list of things that make me irrationally angry is pretty short. Mostly it has to do with mechanical or technological items not doing what they're supposed to. So I suppose if I were living in a time with humanoid robots, I'd be arrested the first time my robot encountered an error in its programming and did the wrong thing. Because then I'd beat the shit out of it and probably be arrested for Technological Domestic Violence.

Some of Guy's rage inducing thoughts are silly and there for the reader to smirk at. And then he hits you with this one.

What kind of Lantern do you turn into when you cry while reading comic books?

Guy Gardner's real rage, though, comes in his belief that nobody has ever thought he was good enough. Not Abin Sur. Not Hal Jordan. Not the Baltimore Police Department. Not his father. With his ring's power quickly draining, he manages to defeat Atrocitus and take Atrocitus's ring. Which, of course, will kill Atrocitus.

This is all wrong! Dex-starr would more probably, being a cat, allow Atrocitus to die and then feast on his tasty meaty goodness. I know every time one of my cats licks me, it's just checking to see if I'm done.

And thus Guy Gardner, once again, became a Red Lantern and everybody lived angrily ever after.

Red Lanterns #21 Rating: +2 Ranking. If Guy Gardner hadn't interfered, The Red Lanterns actually had some direction for once. And now that he has interfered, they still probably have a direction! I'm happy to have Guy Gardner in this comic book and I think Charles Soule did an excellent job here. Except for maybe having Dex-starr speak. He is just a normal cat, after all.

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