Wonder Woman #4

What is it Zola does that allows her to romp all over with the Gods and not give a shit about her life back home? She seemed to have been living on a farm. It had horses. Now it has Centaurs. There were fields of corn.

Was she just a farmer sleeping with every truck driver, rock star, or God who made his way through her little shitty town? Did she tie up any loose ends before Diana, Hermes and her made their way to Paradise Island? Did she even have any loose ends?

How did they get to Paradise Island? Does Wonder Woman have an invisible jet?

And I'd still like to know why Wonder Woman is living in London.


War and Apollo

And now that Wonder Woman, Zola, and Hermes are traveling with Strife, will they ever have a moment's peace?



Oh, well I guess Diana takes care of that! It's as if pissing Wonder Woman off is Strife's power! I think it's her name. It probably puts people on the defensive and they expect you to cause trouble.

So Strife threatens Zola's baby, perhaps seriously, perhaps jokingly. Whichever it was, Wonder Woman doesn't take kindly to it and puts a champagne glass through Strife's hand. Strife suddenly isn't having fun anymore and leaves.

So Wonder Woman has definitely made an enemy of Strife. Is a God a bad enemy to have? Hermes seemed to think he was dying in the first issue when the Centaurs shot him with an arrow and stripped him of one of his feathers. But Diana claimed they had done 'the impossible'. And since Hermes didn't die, is it in fact impossible to kill a God in this DC Universe?

I'm betting we'll definitely find out in this series.

It's obviously possible to kill a demi-God, a child born of God and mortal. Or else Hera wouldn't bother hunting down all the little Bastards Zeus has left scattered will-he, nil-he across the ends of the Earth.

I still think Zola is pregnant with Zeus.

Speaking of Zola, she blah blah blahs a little back story to Wonder Woman after they get home from clubbing. So her dad is in prison for doing something really bad. Her mother is dead. And she apparently only lived at home, in that farmhouse, because she had never left. So now that she's off on an adventure, she'll never go back!

I wonder if she's any good with a Staff or telling stories?

Oh! And another one of my questions was answered later in the comic. Although it would have been answered earlier if I'd been paying attention. Hermes' staff can teleport people. That's why it teleported Zola to Diana in Issue #1 in the first place. Except he had shrunk it down so it sort of looked like a key. Although it was still all Hermes' twisted serpent symbol and shit. In this Issue, Wonder Woman uses it to return to Paradise Island after Zola's confession makes her rethink how she reacted on Paradise Island. So mystery solved!

But is it really a mystery when I just plain missed what was right there all along? Has that ever happened to the Scooby Gang?

And the answers just keep on coming!



Apparently the Gods can be killed by another God. Or demi-God. So Wonder Woman won't have to go through a whole Twilight of the Gods deal with a Messiah just to slaughter them all.

Oh, and when Wonder Woman returns to Paradise Island, she finds all of the Amazons have been transformed into snakes (like the Cover of #3!) and Hippolyta turned into a clay statue. So she's probably got several bones to pick with Hera.

I'll just close this post on a nice bit of transposed wisdom on fate from War:

Wonder Woman #3

The cover depicts the myth of Wonder Woman's birth being shattered. By some snakes. Are Azzarello and Chiang those snakes?! Probably.

I've never followed comic book Wonder Woman so I don't know if this storyline is completely new. It feels like it. It always seemed a staple that Wonder Woman was created as a clay statue and came to life.



It was this scene here where it all fell into place for me. Azzarello had given us all the pieces and my suspicion that there was going to be some Diana/Hippolyta conflict to mirror the mama drama on Olympus spelled it out completely. I thought Azzerello might leave the revelation hanging for a bit. But in a page or two, Hippolyta tells Wonder Woman the truth: she is the daughter of Zeus.


This is how Wonder Woman was really created.

So that's the big revelation in Wonder Woman #3! By the way, that was a Spoiler! But didn't I say somewhere that this whole comics reading thing was going to be a giant spoiler? Maybe I should post it somewhere near the top.

But the revelations given to us by Azzarello aren't even the best part of this comic. This comic needs to be read for some really nice dialogue.



Like this part here where Diana, excuse me, Wonder Woman, puts Strife in her place. The scene leading up to this is a treat. The scenes after this are a treat.

And I really like the art. It's nice to get a change of pace from Jim Lee's overly shiny yet grim people who are sometimes portrayed as overly cross-hatched and grim. And they all look like mannequins posing.

Or to get away from the standard Super Hero art as presented in Justice League International (which there is nothing wrong with, by the way!).

Something about this style reminds me of House of Secrets' artist Teddy Kristiansen. Not quite as grim or surreal but they both drew free hand panel boxes! So there's that!

Wonder Woman #2

Best written comic of the bunch so far. I'm impressed! Except I shouldn't be impressed, really. It's the reason most people grow out of following specific super hero comics and instead follow the writers from book to book. Well paced dialogue. Good characterizations, especially of Zola. And the Gods.

Seriously. Good book here.

I mean, how can you go wrong? Azzarello is one of my favorite comic writers. And Xena is one of my favorite TV shows. And Sandman is one of my favorite comics. Now if I can just run into some guy eating peanut butter from a jar while walking down the street while I'm walking the other way reading this comic, it'll be the best thing ever!

This issue begins with Hera and Strife having a little mother-daughter time.



Wait. That's not Strife!



Okay, well, that's Strife. But from the wrong work of fiction.



Shit. That can't be right.



There we are! Strife in the non-Xena, non-Sandman Wonder Woman Issue #2!

Strife is stirring up trouble (surprise?) and Hera, hurting, wants to hurt someone. Preferably Zola. Or possibly Zeus. Maybe even Diana! I think the problem with getting in the middle of the affairs of Greek Gods is that each God always thinks you're on the other God's side. I learned that from watching Xena!

Xena returns home to Paradise Island and brings a penis with her which seems to offend the other Warrior Princesses. Unless she's the only Warrior Princess and her name is Wonder Woman. Here we meet Hippolyta. So it looks like we may get mother-daughter drama on both sides.

Diana is challenged by one of the more butch Amazons and a fight breaks out!



Hmm. That's too small and unclear to be a comic. Also, why can't I find any better pictures of the fight between Xena and Draco from Episode 1, Season 1, 'Sins of the Past'? Stupid internet.

Here's the actual Wonder Woman fight although if I could find a better picture of the Xena fight, you wouldn't be able to tell the difference! Except that Wonder Woman doesn't start standing on people's heads during the fight.



So then Strife appears, Amazons die, blah blah blah, Wonder Woman discovers she is, somehow, Strife's sister! I guess there's going to be more revealed about Wonder Woman's birth than the whole being made out of clay thing!

I know I just blah blah blah'd right through the ending of this comic. But it really should be read. I can't wait until Issue #3. Oh, here it is right beside me!

Wonder Woman #1

Being that Brian Azzarello is writing this comic, I was hoping for a good read. And I think I'm getting one! So far, Wonder Woman is like a cross between Xena Warrior Princess and Neil Gaiman's Sandman. Perhaps with a bit of 100 Bullets thrown in although I wouldn't be saying that if someone else was writing the comic so maybe not so much 100 Bullets.

So it's like Xena because there seems to be a big plot revolving around the Greek Gods and their shenanigans on Earth. And Wonder Woman is finding herself mixed up in their drama just like Xena always used to! Also, Wonder Woman runs around the whole comic with another woman who is in her underwear! So it has the same homoerotic undertones of Xena as well!



It reads like Neil Gaiman's Sandman in that this first issue really seems to be setting up a long haul storyline. And the storyline involves the drama of Gods who are all related to one another. And one of them is missing! In this case, it is Zeus (who likes to Destroy things!).

But unlike The Endless who don't really interfere too much with mortals, the Greek Gods just love to fuck with people. Apollo starts off turning three women into Oracles to help him find Zeus. Hermes appears to try to save Zola (the girl in the underwear) from the wrath of Hera.



Hera cuts the heads off of a couple of horses which is, apparently, where Centaurs come from because human torsos sprout from the gaping neck wounds. And I'm pretty sure it's Hera since she's draped in Peacock Feathers. And any 12 year old boy worth his love of mythology can tell you Peacock feathers are one of Hera's symbols!

No, I'm not a twelve year old boy. But I was one a long time ago!

So Hera wants this Zola killed. Hermes wants Zola to live. Apollo wants to find Zeus (and probably kill him). And Wonder Woman just wants a good night's rest.



Oops! Wrong picture!



Oops! Wrong source material!



Okay. There it is!

So instead of sleeping soundly in London (why is she in London? And why isn't her costume all Union Jacky then?), she gets dragged into this bullshit protect Zola garbage! This all seems somewhat reminiscent of 100 Bullets in some way that makes sense if you really want it to.

By the end of the first issue, the oracles give a typically unclear oracle which leaves Apollo with the possible knowledge that maybe something bad might perhaps be going on and it could be Zeus's fault, maybe? And that maybe Zeus doesn't exist yet? Possibly because he got Zola pregnant with himself?!

A family betrayed by blood! Sibling killing sibling! A god being replaced!



No no no! Not that family!

The Greek one! Gods! Not Endless. Sheesh.

I've got three more issues of this sitting here waiting to be read now and I'm diving right in! I think poor Aquaman is going to be upstaged by Wonder Woman!

Justice League International #5

I'm not really very impressed with this JLI cover by David Finch. Maybe that's why they have him writing Batman: The Dark Knight instead of drawing it!

I'm also not very impressed by the ending of this first JLI story arc.

Issue #1: "Let's go find the missing UN guys!"
Issue #2: "Oh crap! A giant robot! Run!"
Issue #3: "Damn! We were defeated by Peraxxus! Paraxis?"
Issue #4: "Now the world is ending because we couldn't beat up Peraxxus!"
Issue #5: "We still couldn't beat up Peraxxus but at least he fled!"

And that's the big problem with writing a story where the heroes are really up against the wall and you're wondering how they're going to defeat the Villain of the Month. You better come up with a good plan and a reasonable answer to why they couldn't beat him up before and now they can beat him up and force him to flee.

Dan Jurgens doesn't do this.



Now, hold on a minute, Mr. Newscaster! You don't know that Geoff Johns has any better plan to have the Grown Up Justice League defeat Darkseid! So let's see how the JLI did this month.

First off, they survived the beginning destruction because of Booster Gold's force field surrounding them. So Booster Gold shows his worth. Even though Guy should have been the one to do it. Making a protective bubble to save everyone from certain death is Green Lantern Corps 101!



Second, AGI spouts a helpful aphorism! It's a plan that nobody else could have thought of! So August General in Iron earns his place!



Third, Rocket Red comes up with a plan to fly into space undercover in a giant turd. He also shuts the airlock. And causes the ship to crash Earth on one of the giant robots which causes Peraxxus to flee into space with his sickle and purple hat. So, really, Rocket Red does most of the work and is currently MVP of the JLI!

Fourthly and fifthly, Green Lantern creates the engine to propel the turd and Fire powers it with her fire! So I guess that earns them a respectable place on the team! Right?

Sixthly, Vixen stands up to Batman.



I think that makes her the bravest member on the team! So she's in! Plus she bitch slaps Peraxxus on his way out the door. I like suckerypunchiness in my super dames! I mean, Super Heroes!

Seventhly (am I out of JLI members yet?!), Ice disables the security gun so Batman and Rocket Red don't get killed. Okay, so Batman doesn't get killed.



Eighthly, and finally, Godiva confuses him with her stupid power.



I mean, Godiva steals his scythe with her cool hair powers! She's proven herself a legitimate member of the team! Awww!

Ugh. Bollocks! She sucks!

I guess Guy Gardner does a little more proving of himself at the end when he slows the ship down enough so the JLI can escape and so that it doesn't do too much damage when it crashes into Earth.


That's what she said?

And so the world is saved. Or at least the majority of it that didn't get destroyed as Peraxxus sucked huge chunks off of it and atomized them in space. I think at least 90% of the Earth's mass is left after this catastrophe.

The issue sounds a lot better when I describe it as members of the team showing how they can effectively work in the JLI! And that's what it's supposed to be. But taken as a whole, it's pretty disappointing. The JLI really just gets their asses kicked the whole time. Maybe the message is never give up!

The JLI wins this one because Peraxxus can't finish them when he's got the game at 40-love and then makes five unforced errors in a row. Look at me and a tennis analogy! Maybe if I were more manly I could have come up with a football one!

At the end of the comic, Booster is arguing with Briggs.

BG: Do I consider this mission a success? DAMN STRAIGHT.

Funny, Booster, I thought the mission was to find a team of UN scientists!

And then there is one final panel with some unknown someone watching them on a monitor and saying, "Amazing! They succeeded. I can't abide that. Accelerate plans for their demise."

OMG! WTF?! Who is this mysterious Nemesis?! Will he be next month's Villain of the Month? Or will we just keep getting cryptic panels of his hatred for the JLI until some future, future big reveal that takes place long after everyone has forgotten about this stranger and they have to dig back through all the old issues until they find this one panel and then go, "Oh yeah! I forgot about that guy."

Aquaman #4 Update

This picture makes it look like Aquaman #4 ended on a really Happy Ending.

I can't believe I forgot to talk about this moment! So all four issues are wrapped up nicely by Aquaman being appreciated by a young boy whose life he just saved.

Awww. So sweet! People do like Aquaman!



Well, you'd like Aquaman if you were a kid at heart! If you just lived by pure emotion and had just had your life and your mom's life saved by him! Then you'd feel different!

But nooooo! You're an adult who uses logic and reason to like stuff! You can't like Aquaman if you use your head because if you think about him for any length of time, he just seems more and more ridiculous! And possibly ludicrous! So if you don't like Aquaman, you're cold hearted and not kidlike at all! It's your fault if you can't like him!

Although Aquaman better enjoy this moment because as soon as this kid hits puberty, he's going to discover Starfire and then Aqua-who?

Aquaman #4

Issue #4 concludes the whole hungry fish from the deep storyline. Is it a happy ending?



Or is it a really happy ending?



It's more of an ambiguous ending. Aquaman saves the people who were kidnapped. Yay! But in so doing, he ends up destroying (or at least trapping under the sea) a whole race of creatures he hadn't known existed. A bunch of creatures that were just trying to survive except Aquaman had no way to negotiate with them. How does Aquaman feel about this?

He seems to indicate he's shouldered this kind of burden before. And Mera seems to indicate that this kind of thing always weighs heavily on him.

I guess that's why the whole ongoing series thing exists!

So at the end of the first story arc, I'm impressed. I liked the pacing of the first issue the most but I understand a Super Hero comic generally fills a lot more pages with kicking than with talking. But that's why I've always preferred things like Animal Man and Shade the Changing Man. Although something like John Ostrander's Suicide Squad really balances the drama with the violence pretty niftily.

I like the slow reveal of who Aquaman is as well. These were the best bits of the comic. The Villain of the Month this time around wasn't great. But it served its purpose. It showed that Aquaman is willing to act to protect innocents (and himself!) even at the expense of a whole race of beings. But he doesn't do it willingly nor without regret.

I just hope Geoff Johns can build Aquaman into a really first rate title.