Showing posts with label The Legend of Wonder Woman. Show all posts
Showing posts with label The Legend of Wonder Woman. Show all posts

Tuesday, March 15, 2016

The Legend of Wonder Woman #3



Rating: +3 Ranking.

I've been overly cynical about this title because it felt like a reaction to all of the nonsense about Wonder Woman's origin being too confusing (I'm including the nonsense that that was even an actual belief at DC). But this is good shit. Even if it is a marketing decision to cleanse any bad taste left in the mouths of fans from Azzarello's plot decisions, it works. It's a solid story well told and could easily be adapted as the script for a Wonder Woman origin movie. It doesn't even have to be the first Wonder Woman movie, especially since she's being introduced in the middle of her character arc in Batman Loves Superman: Dawn of Just Us. Let the first Wonder Woman movie advance from there with her origins still being a mystery to those who don't already know it. This could be a follow-up with a smaller, puffier B-story happening in the present. Preferably a story that takes place in a Sex Dungeon.

Thursday, February 11, 2016

The Legend of Wonder Woman #2


Don't worry, Fanboys with boners. Wonder Woman doesn't stay this age for long!

Rating: No change.

Are any fanboys even reading this? It's a Wonder Woman comic book written by a woman first put out digitally because...I don't know. I was going to say because DC Comics had no confidence in it but that's so far into my own speculation and bias toward digital only comic books that it's not even worth printing! Except now I've "printed" it. Digitally. Fuck you.

This seems to be DC publishing the story they believe a certain set of fans want to be canon. But then they call it "the legend" to obfuscate the veracity of the story! I think this falls into the Sarlacc of "eating your cake and also keeping it locked away in a glass case to stare at until you die".

It's also possible DC Comics believed the nonsense of the echo chamber's oft repeated bullshit about Wonder Woman's story being too complicated. Talk about a legend! That's almost as good a legend as the thing about the DC Cartooniverse being cancelled because girls liked it. Yes, yes. I know you've heard that repeated a billion times. I guess it's true then! Internet hotheads with no sources (or, and I'm being generous here, one source taken out of context or misinterpreted--probably willfully!--or not really having any evidence either) are the best news outlets around, especially when they strengthen your confirmation bias.

Look, if we're going to believe that Diane Nelson said all the things that everybody on the internet told us she said because they're all so fucking amazing at deconstructing comments without letting their own issues color the way they do that deconstructing, then yes. It's all true and this is DC trying to "uncomplicate" Wonder Woman's origin story. I mean, not that it was complex anyway which is why I think people have really gone out of their way to misunderstand what was being said. Wonder Woman was made from clay and then had sex with a crashed airline pilot and then spun around and was covered in an American-themed bathing suit! Easy peasy!

Oh, about that "Wonder Woman is tricky" bit from Nelson? I think the reaction to Nelson's statement that it would be tricky to get a Wonder Woman movie right proved that it would be tricky to get a Wonder Woman movie right. If just a one paragraph statement could earn this much wrath towards DC and Warner Brothers, imagine what would happen if they didn't get all the beats "right" in a Wonder Woman movie?! And, let's face it, Hollywood is going to fuck it up completely! That's the tricky part. Hollywood already knows they can't write a movie about a feminist superhero! I mean, sure, somebody can write one! But after it goes through committees and rewrites and all the management hands get in there to make sure it's a hit with the young men (because they're going to assume it's already going to be a hit with women because it has "woman" in the title!) and tits and ass it up while making sure the love story is the most prominent bit of the tale, there won't be anything feminist about it!

In conclusion, I think the internet made a mountain out of a molehill on the vague, pretty much made up "Wonder Woman's story is too complicated" story. On the other hand, I think the reaction to something that wasn't actually what the internet thought it was was spot on! They've given us a Superman movie where Superman doesn't seem to care about the people who die in the final battle. They're giving us a Superman/Batman movie where Superman and Batman fight instead of kiss romantically. So what should we expect from a Wonder Woman movie?! Probably You've Got Mail starring Steve Trevor and Diana Prince.

Friday, January 29, 2016

The Legend of Wonder Woman #1


I'm already confused by this.

Rating: 22 out of 52 or something. I would have enjoyed this issue without all of the narrative stuff at the beginning but I guess the whole Diana is Zeus's daughter and the Amazons are rapists stuff needed to be sent back down to the People Got Angry At These Ideas Department. That's really okay because they were part of Azzarello's Wonder Woman run and anything he needed for his story doesn't matter anymore because now Wonder Woman is being debased by the Finches and everything is totally different now.

Hippolyta is a pathetic wretch who somehow can't find any meaning in her life without having a child of her own. You're a fucking queen! Every Amazon is your child! You shouldn't need a lump of animated clay to make you feel your life is worth living. Stop being so selfish! Although I do like that when the moment comes and a soul enters into some wet sand to create Diana, the story leaves it vague as to where that soul came from. Is Diana the reason that darkness is now invading the island? Did Hippolyta accept a soul from some monstrous power?! Is Diana the daughter of Cthulhu?!

The story becomes far more entertaining once Diana becomes eight or ten or, if this were David Finch's art, twenty-eight.


Regular Artist Depiction of Wonder Woman at ten or David Finch Depiction of Wonder Woman at twenty-eight?

The story becomes a Dungeons and Dragons Adventure which really appeals to the twelve year old boy that I will forever be (except now with much better hygiene and the understanding of that joke about why the Go-Gos can't get pregnant).

I look forward to the issue when Diana is in Degrassi Amazon Junior High and has to shower for the first time with her classmates. I mean Degrassi Amazon High School! I mean Degrassi Amazon Community College!