The Legend of Wonder Woman #5

I guess Wonder Woman is going to beat up those ghosts this issue?

The Review or Whatever!
I was promised Diana taking a shower this issue and I did not get Diana taking a shower! What the hell?! David and Meredith Finch would know better than to leave the shower scene between issues! Meredith is probably all, "David, I don't think people are reading Wonder Woman to see her shower for five straight pages." And David would probably go, "But MeeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeeEEEEEeeeeeerrrrrrrrry! I want to draw Wonder Woman naaaaaaaakeeeeeeeed!" And Meredith probably says, "But it isn't important to the plot, David. And if we put in that scene, I'm going to have to write extra scenes where she punches guys in the face for being creepy and intruding on her space!" And then David would probably go, "You already have me drawing like three guys and it's sooooooooOOOOoooooOOOOooooo booooooooooorrrrrrrrrrring!" So then Meredith sighs and says, "Okay. Two panels where Diana does something in a towel, okay?" And David would be all, "Woo hoo! Boner City, here I come!" Now that's comic book writing!

So instead of Diana trying to hide behind steam and a washcloth, I get Diana in a house dress covered in chickens! You know what? I bet the Non-Certified Spouse would love that dress. It's totally the kind of thing she'd wear and call her Battered Housewife dress.

More makeup, probably!

I always think when you see somebody with more makeup than you might usually expect, they've put on some makeup to cover up the horrible makeup they put on earlier. Is that how it works?

Diana and Etta have gone into town to talk to Perry White about an article he wrote. Apparently Perry got his start working for the Weekly World News. That was my favorite newspaper growing up. They were always on the forefront of world events! Probably made-up world events but still! They were events that no other newspaper ever reported on! Slackers!

While Diana learns that some guy with a magic jewel is raising the dead for the Nazis, Etta continues to try to stop her parents from publishing an embarrassing advert of her. I bet I know what picture her parents are using!

The ad came out in 1944! Same year that this comic book takes place!

Etta's parents are in some kind of hair cream business, so it's probably not that exact ad. But it must be something like it since Etta's parents have the picture and Etta will be completely embarrassed if it comes out. Maybe it just proves she's not a real blonde! Is that a bad thing? I don't think that's a bad thing. Maybe in 1944, dyeing your hair wasn't respectable?

Oh wait. The advert is shown later and its a cream for removing hair. Specifically, facial hair. And it features Etta with copy announcing that it's Etta! Her parents are jerks! That can't even fictionalize it? I wonder if Etta did an advert for her bikini line too!

So, um, anyway, Diana does some stuff and Etta does some stuff and they meet Steve Trevor who tells them how easy it is to get to Europe. So they go! Between all the stuff they do, they talk about feminism or something. I don't quite remember because I was laughing so hard at a woman with a mustache! Ha ha! Oh, silly Etta!

Seriously though! Remember how I write that so readers know I'm being serious?! It's my new thing! So, anyway, this is a well-written book telling a compelling story which also looks magnificent! I'm probably not telling anybody anything new since everybody probably already read this story months ago when the digital version came out. It might not be as sexy as the Finches Wonder Woman, but it's also not as stupid! Although it is kind of sexy too. Did you see Steve Trevor in his uniform? He was so stunning Etta had to go home and change.

The Legend of Wonder Woman #4

Etta Candy pulls off the most realistic Butt-Boobs Showcase ever presented in comic books.

The Review!
I know a number of people who think regurgitating other people's opinions of things is dialogue. Instead of consuming some kind of media (book, movie, sexual act), they'll read a critic's opinion of that thing and later express it as their own opinion, as if they actually experienced the media first hand. I would rather they just say, "I have no experience of that thing." I hate it when somebody tells me, "Thing A is terrible because of all the reasons I've heard expressed by other people." Then I will say, "Really? I thought Thing A was all of my opinions I formed after having experienced that thing." Only then will the other person reveal that they have no first hand knowledge of Thing A. I would say I hate those people but my friend Doom Bunny is one of those people and I'd hate to slag him off behind his back. I usually do that directly to his stupid face. Although if they're expressing my opinions, I'll give them a pass because my opinions are better than 98% of all other opinions that have ever existed (or will exist). And that other 2% is probably just statistical error. The reason I bring this up is because I don't really have a review for this comic book. It's just this book about Wonder Woman, you know? You'd find better reviews on sites that consistently deal with feminist issues. The only feminist issue I'm currently dealing with is that the female avatar I created in Sunset Overdrive is so cute that I think I've fallen in love with her. Although I don't think that's really a feminist issue. Anyway, I wonder if I can get a screenshot of her so you can fall in love too!

You can't see her adorable freckles in this picture but it's all I could manage since I'm stuck in some long-ass learn how to play part of the game.

Anyway, this Wonder Woman comic book is the Wonder Woman comic book fans of Wonder Woman comic books should probably be reading (and probably are!). It's well-written and looks great. Although I did have one minor complaint this issue.

The term "flying saucer" wouldn't be coined until 1947, not to mention the depiction of beings from other worlds as grey aliens! Also, the Nazis would be more apt to recruit Yetis than Sasquatches.

Other than that, terrific issue! Although Diana won't be taking a bath until next month. I can't wait!