Lumberjanes Love Gotham Academy #6

And then they told ghost stories until the fingerbanging began.

The story about the thing with the spell and the ghosts and the party and stuff resolves happily with hardly any violence at all. Everybody is wise and understanding and kind and caring. I like cute and sweet sometimes too but this was bland and unsatisfying. It's like somebody took a diet cupcake and smashed it between the covers of a comic book and put it on the shelves to fool other people into buying it. Plus it featured fives issues of young people spending time in the woods with hardly any adult supervision and nothing sexy happened at all.

Oh wait! It's going to happen! Fingerbang city!

Nothing of the sort happens, probably because a big perv like me isn't writing it. Instead they all just tell each other how awesome they all are. Pee-yuke!

What Did We Learn?
Being nice to everybody is fucking boring.

The Ranking!
No change!

Lumberjanes Love Gotham Academy #5

Holy shit! Will somebody just fucking fingerbang somebody else already?!

The Review!
This is what people want from comic books nowadays? A bunch of nice people getting along and solving problems?! Ugh! I know I'm always complaining when heroes don't get along so now I sound like a hypocrite. But since I'd never experienced a comic book (or real life situation) where people got along and actually cared about each other, how could I have known how utterly boring and nauseating it would be?! From now on if I ever feel I'm getting along too well with another person, I'm going to punch them in their stupid face. Not even the flying skullheaded ghost monster drama can make me care about any of these Lumberjanes! This comic book also just broke a record for being the first anything with a raccoon in it that didn't make me scream, "OH MY GOD I LOVE THE RACCOON SO MUCH GIVE IT TO ME!" Instead I found myself wishing the raccoon really had been killed and made into a hat so he wouldn't have to suffer the insufferableness of all of this good-hearted cooperation! Somebody please tell me that the reason the Lumberjanes are popular is because that comic book has a lot of fingerbanging in it?

The Rankings!
1. The Sheriff of Babylon (*)
2. New Super-man (*)
3. Deathstork (*)
4. Wonder Woman (*)
5. Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps (*)
6. Suicide Squad (*)
7. Scooby Apocalypse (*)
8. The Flash (*)
9. Lumberjanes Love Gotham Academy (*)
10. Earth 2: Society (*)

I probably shouldn't even include this comic book in the overall rankings since it's obviously not for me. I'm way too immature for something put out by Boom! Box Studios.