Cerebus #36 (1982)

The most romantic scene ever filmed through a glory hole.

At the time this issue hit the shelves, readers didn't know a lot about Cerebus's sex life (which, judging by some of his Most Holy choices, was probably a good thing for most of them). We knew that one time he fell in love with a stripper but only while he was drunk on Apricot Brandy. Did they fuck? I don't know! I was too busy thinking about his penis to remember what actually happened. But whatever it was, it was memorable enough for Jaka (probably the penis). Because she's now returned to see what he's up to and admit that she was just pretending to be a Borelean whore to get back at her uncle (maybe she doesn't admit that here (or even know that's what she was doing!)). She uses the pretense of returning some of Cerebus's belongings that he left with her.

Wait. I'm getting ahead of myself because I haven't re-read it yet! Let's do that now, shall we? You are reading along, aren't you?! Did I forget to mention this was one of those read along things? You did get the cassette tape of me reading all the lines in various voices, didn't you?!

Astoria has been causing Cerebus some serious stress lately when all he wants to do is make money and drink alcohol. And right when everything is coming to a head and he's about to face off against Lord Julius in their struggle to maintain influence with the leaders of Iest, Jaka shows up. It's like she knows the exact time to create peak drama! Maybe she's got all of Lord Julius's sensibilities but pulls off her disruptive social tricks via drama instead of whimsy.

I know this is basically the same shot as the cover but I just wanted to write, "Run, Jaka! Run! Get out of this narcissist's life before he uses you as an example of how women manipulate men and ruin their lives when Cerebus actually just proves the opposite! Don't be Dave Sim's pawn! I mean Cerebus's pawn!"

Jaka tells Cerebus he looks wonderful because she's smitten by him and thinks he's a handsome and charming devil. But Cerebus thinks Jaka is complimenting his expensive clothes. Because he sees Jaka as a stereotype rather than an individual. And, like all the other greedy people he's met so far in Iest, he simply believes she's after his money now. And he's prepared to treat her badly because of his assumptions.

Instead of asking about Jaka and her life or why she's here, Cerebus simply tells her what she's going to do because it's what Cerebus wants. He tells her she's going to move in with him. And Astoria.

In the sketch notes, Dave Sim says this issue only has one joke and it's not this part that made me laugh a lot. Am I a sociopath?

Cerebus first makes Jaka sad when he suggests she come live with him and Astoria, implying (rather than inferring which we'll get to!) that she'll be little more than a maid. Cerebus hurts her feelings a second time when he implies dancers are whores. Cerebus hurts Jaka's feelings a third time when he smarmily calls her out on using "inferred" when she meant "implied." Cerebus hurts her feelings a fourth time when he calls her broke. What Dave Sim is showing us is either Cerebus is a huge dick or women are too emotional. I mean, I know which one I inferred but it's hard to not think he was implying the other, after all his back-of-the-comics essays about relationships which will appear much later.

Jaka has recently spent all of her money purchasing, from a salvage merchant, Cerebus's sword which he lost robbing The Cockroach. Cerebus doesn't learn that until she leaves because he's being such a jerk, leaving the package for him to open.

I know what swords often represent so that liquid must represent pre-cum.

Dammit! Now I'm thinking about Cerebus's penis again!

I wonder how many Cerebus fans hate this fucking page that shows Cerebus weeping like a fucking emotional wreck. They probably refer to this panel with the same snide condescension as they refer to the Kevin Smith Batman panel where Batman admits to having peed himself a little bit the first time he used bat-explosives. Other than this moment, does Cerebus ever show any sort of emotion that emanates from something other than pitying himself?! Even this tear, I suppose, could be because Jaka made Cerebus sad and not because Cerebus realizes the emotional weigh of this gift.

Cerebus #36 Rating: A. It's a seminal issue! That's a joke about the pre-cum line!