The chances are upwards of about 98% that this will be the best Hawkman comic book since The New 52 began.
On a related note, if anybody wants to donate Speed Force #2 to me because they just can't live without reading my immature take on the story, I'm more than willing to accept such a generous offer.
Let me try and predict what's going to happen in this issue! Hawkman is going to appear before a crowd of protesters and say, "How dare you protest this great country?! You're all worthless no-good pieces of Communist shit! Nothing is more offensive than burning an American flag! Not murder! Or illegal wars in foreign countries that get young men and women killed! Not government corruption which keeps the masses downtrodden and in poverty! Not institutionalized racism or intolerance! How a person treats a specific inanimate object is the sole determiner of a person's moral compass!"
Jesus Christ! Hawkman has nothing to do with the American flag and yet I've gotten myself all pissed off at defenders of the stupid thing! It's a fucking piece of cloth, you zealots! How about fighting to protect the rights of actual citizens as fervently as you want to protect a colored rag?! Assholes.
Currently riots are breaking out in a certain section of Gotham that isn't the same section where Wonder Woman was dealing with cults or where any of The Outsiders were helping rebuild. It's a big city!
The lead rioter proclaims, "If you come from the shadows, follow me!" So I guess he's The Shadow Thief but without his powers, right?
I'm about three panels into this comic and I'm already bored. Hawkman isn't any fun unless he's arguing with Green Arrow!
I wonder if Hawkman has ever glanced quickly down at his wiener and stabbed himself in the throat with the prongs on his mask?
Shayera's lecture is about mythological entities that are half-man and half-animal. She ends her lecture by donning her wings and flying around the room because everybody was falling asleep. Actually, they were starting to get pissed because she began talking about Batman and we all saw how useless he's been in Batman and the Outsiders. Nobody trusts the heroes to help since they haven't dismantled the Dome.
I see young Edgar Allen Poe made it to the lecture.
Sigh. Yes. Manhawks are apparently a thing. It's like a comic book writer took the time honored supposition that the best villains are twisted opposites of the heroes, put the least amount of thought into it, and came up with Hawkman's opposite: the Manhawk! They're birds but...get this!...they've got the heads of men!
The fight is tense and disturbing. Wait, did I say tense? I meant tedious. In the end, the Hawks win! The mostly human hawks, not the mostly hawk hawks!
I feel really old when reading comic books and I don't find the action sequences thrilling. I want more talking and sitting around in comfortable chairs!
Convergence: Hawkman #1 Rating: Even though I found this comic book as uninteresting as every other Hawkman comic book I've ever read, it was better than anything Tony S. Daniel or Rob Liefeld wrote!
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