Harley Quinn #8

The word "assassin" is so vulgar!

The name of my imaginary white supremacist biker gang is "The Class 'A' S.S. Ass Assassins"! They're imaginary because I don't ride a motorcycle. Also probably because I'm not a white supremacist! But in order to come up with a phrase that has the most iterations of the word "ass," I had to make my Biker Gang into neo-nazis so I could include the "S.S." Also, it might be a gay white supremacist biker gang, depending on what kind of ass they're after. Also they might be into grading beef. That wasn't a euphemism for gay since I already pointed out they might be gay.

The only reason I need to write this review is so that I can remember what's happening in this comic book every month. Harley Quinn is such a popular character that I don't think I need to review this comic book. If I say it's the best written comic by DC Comics right now, fans will probably agree with me. If I say it sucks, people are still going to buy it. Look at how shitty The Joker's Daughter #1 by Ann Nocenti was and people are still trying to add that turd to their collection. One thing I do know is that nobody will argue with me no matter what my opinion of the comic is because I will ban them from my site forever! Nobody puts baby in a blender!

The first thing I notice is that Chad Hardin's Harley Quinn is really veering away from Amanda Conner's adorable take on the character. She's beginning to look like a devil woman out of a 70s exploitation horror movie.

Or the rock and roll director's wife in a modern reimagining of that classic genre.

After selling her ill-gotten gains and murdering two would-be thieves, Harley Quinn finally remembers that she's on a roller derby team. But she doesn't remember that it's a game and not a death sport. So after a little eye for an eye, tooth for a severe maiming style of justice, Harley is kicked off the team.

This sounds vaguely familiar!

The rest of the book is a bunch of poop jokes. I don't stoop to poop jokes! Even when they're making fun of Dan DiDio and his terrible comic book ideas.

I know, I know. That thing about not telling poop jokes was probably the most obvious lie I've ever stooped to! But I'm tired and this comic book didn't really have any plot points that I'm going to have to remember later. Harley has a ton of money, a scatapult, and a stalker named Edwin from Staten Island. That's about it! The only thing on my mind was how I had ebola yesterday morning! I woke up with the worst cramps I've ever felt and I don't even have a uterus! Or whatever female parts cause cramps. So half asleep, I stumbled into the bathroom and sat on the toilet, opened up the top drawer of the linen closet to rest my head on, and moaned and moaned and moaned. I think I made two regular bowel movements while still in awful pain. When I say regular, I mean normal sized and good consistency and the type that you would expect to have with at least 24 hours in-between each one. But after that, the plug was let loose! I'm fairly certain I lost five pounds that morning. I wish I'd had a scatapult because I had ammo for weeks!

Harley Quinn #8 Rating: No change. Just more manic fun from the killer clown. More people died in this issue than in Futures End numbers one through twelve! Plus a kitten's life was saved. Plus just before reading this issue, I finished Battleblock Theater. What a silly, adorable game that was!