Batgirl #27

Gothtopia means "the Goth place!"

I understand that shoving "topia" on the back of something simply makes it an ideal place due to cultural baggage. Just like when any scandal (or pseudo-scandal) takes place in the political realm, you know it's a scandal because somebody decides to append "gate" to it. It's like a bunch of children are running things.

The current thing in the media that's pissing on my goat is that Apple iPad commercial where they point out that certain careers are needed for society but it's poetry that we live for. Then they go on to quote some Walt Whitman, appending their own line at the end of the Whitman quote: "What will your verse be?" Fuck you, Apple! You're taking Whitman's poetry about life itself being a poem and a verse and trying to make it a call to arms for people to get out and create (with your product, of course). But Whitman's whole point is that we are here and that is life and we all have a unique identity and that's fucking enough! What we do, no matter what it is, is poetry in and of itself! So take your stupid ass fucking call to arms and shove it up your stupid ass fucking ass!

Since I'm ragging on Apple, let me take a moment to point out when Microsoft did pretty much the same thing about ten years ago. Remember when they stuck "Rainbow Connection" on some commercial about Windows XP or Windows 7 or whatever the fucking product was? Besides the fact that Jim Henson probably shit his grave over that song being used to sell some shitty product, Microsoft didn't even understand the fucking song. It was okay in the original length commercial (I suspect. I can't remember exactly). But like the Apple one out now, after airing a few times, the commercial was cut down in length. At that point, they ended the commercial before the turn in the song! So Microsoft's product was being sold to this: "Why are there so many songs about rainbows and what's on the other side? Rainbows are visions and only illusions and rainbows have nothing to hide." That was it! Unless they left in the next line as well. Again, I can't remember! Anyway, they left the nay-sayers part in but ended the commercial before they can get to the part where the singer says, "I know they're wrong wait and see." Fucking idiots. Get bent.

Now that I'm rage free, I think I'll read about Batgirl. Or whatever her name was in Gothtopia!

Oh, not you too Babs. I'm so sick of everybody's love of bacon. BACON BACON BACON! If you're going to fall in love with meat, might I suggest Linguiça? Perhaps I'd be willing to accept someone falling head over heels for Chorizo as well. But bacon? Too ubiquitous for true love.

Babs is currently living with her father because that's the way life goes when everything is perfect! I mean, Alysia was a decent roommate and all. But if Babs is going to hallucinate extreme happiness, she's obviously going to pretend that her family is all together. Besides, she's probably actually sitting in a hole in the backyard that she dug the night before, chewing on a rotting squirrel and talking to a big orange dog.

Apparently Scarecrow's Happy Gas has caused Babs to become best friends with her greatest enemy, Knightfall. Unless, of course, Babs is really just hanging out with a fire hydrant and making out with her boyfriend Ricky the pile of dead leaves.

Her name is Daybreak because it's the opposite of Knightfall! Um, kind of. Maybe it should be Squirerise?

Meanwhile The Joker Ice Cream Company has decided to try out a new flavor of ice cream on this hot day: Death Toffee. A bunch of people are killed after eating it which they probably should have suspected since it was called Death Toffee. Oh! Maybe the gas made them read Neapolitan. Although I don't think that name is any more encouraging, actually.

Bluebelle and Daybreak decide they need to stop kids all over town from eating ice cream. What monsters!

After stopping one person on the streets from eating ice cream, Bluebelle learns that a bunch of kids are currently on a field trip to The Joker Ice Cream Factory. So she and Knightfall choose to help the kids at the factory rather than chase down ice cream trucks all day in the heat. Let somebody else take care of that bullcrap. The factory probably has air conditioning!

This is Mother Mercy spreading happiness and joy all across Gothtopia.

The news reporter on the scene is named Amanda Holden. I bet that's just her Gothtopia name. Her real name is probaly Nomanda Holdenkiss.

When Bluebelle crashes the ice cream party to stop Mother Mercy, she notices the Joker logo on the wall and suddenly remembers the real Gotham City. And that's when the sniper takes out Mother Mercy and Batgirl decides she'll just pretend that Gothtopia never actually happened. I wish I'd known that before writing this commentary! If she doesn't have to remember what happened then I don't either!

Batgirl #27 Rating: No change. Maybe my memory is getting better after two years of reading comic books and I can stop writing commentaries on them! I bet I've learned how to remember things better now since I do seem to remember a lot of what's happening from month to month. Although that's probably a side-effect of writing the commentaries, right? It's like studying! Ick! I hate studying! I should be playing computer role playing games and console video games and watching all the crap in my queue on Netflix! I should be writing my verse! Stupid commentaries are draining my life away! Hey DC Comics? Would it be possible to do another reboot and change it to The New 26? This stupid project is too much work!