Saturday, June 29, 2013

The Green Team #2

The images in the camera lenses shouldn't be of her face. I'm pretty sure we all know what the Pappies would be focusing on in this shot.

Cecelia didn't have a pink robot arm last issue! She must be Pink Green Team Ranger #2! Why are they going to make the girl the Pink Ranger? They should make Mo the Pink Ranger so the comic book can be full of insensitive gay jokes! I don't see why the woman always gets to wear the pink suit.

To punch up my work uniform (which is not really a uniform. Just jeans and a shirt with the logo on it), I put pink shoelaces in my boots. One of the clerks at a store whose floor I clean asked, "Did your daughter get you those?" Really, kid? I keep thinking generations after mine are going to drop all the gender roles shit and I keep being disappointed. I also have a pink Nano and a pink Superman symbol keychain. When my hair was long, I had the bottom layer in the back dyed pink. I have issues with the color pink having been co-opted by the Breast Cancer Awareness Campaign although it is nice to be able to buy nearly any item ever invented in pink now.

This is my hair about seven years ago.

Anyway, when we last saw The Green Team, they weren't much of a team yet but that didn't stop Riot Act from attacking them. But then Riot Act is a bit more sensible than The Secret Society of Super Villains and their main goal isn't to just taunt super hero groups. Riot Act wants to torment rich kids! And probably kidnap them for a large ransom so that Riot Act's kids can be rich too. Commodore 64, the leader of The Green Team, stuck a disc on his chest and he became an armored Super Hero like Iron Man! But he was green instead of red and gold. Commodore 64 had a bunch of other discs in his pocket as well, so those will probably got to J.P. and Cecilia and Mo and maybe L.L. And possibly Bubbles.

Last issue was narrated by Mo. This time, we get Cecilia's viewpoint on the action.

Currently her viewpoint sucks.

It looks like Riot Act is a bit derivative of Mob Rule in power and name. They should form a Super Villain Team and call it Crowd Control. They could get Multiplex to join them! And maybe an evil, time traveling Duplicate Damsel! That team would be a confusing mess.

To save Cecilia, J.P. slaps Disc #2 on her hand and she transforms into Gold Green Team Ranger #2! I could say I was wrong about her getting the Pink Armor but I have a feeling that #2 was meant for J.P. and he simply slapped his disc on her because it was the only way he could think to save her life. She's actually slightly cut by the knife but the disc seems to have self-repairing Nanobot technology which instantly heals the cut. She has no idea how to control the suit so she ends up firing the feet rockets and shooting up through the skylight with J.P. and one of Riot Act's rioters hanging from her. Commodore 64's rockets fail but he's still got an escape plan ready to go!

Can this be considered a crossover? Or just grand theft auto?

Cecilia finally manages to work the weapons on her suit (after dropping J.P. Whoops!) and electrocutes the Riot Actors hanging from her. And apparently when one Riot Actonian is electrocuted, they're all electrocuted! Even their leader and/or original vacationing in Monaco.

Commodore 64 and J.P. have a bit of a text conversation now that all the Riot Actors have been ditched or turned into goo. I'm amazed that I understood everything they texted back and forth except for "hxc". Commodore tells them to lay low for a bit and they'll meet up later once they figure out what to do next. Here's my translated transcript of the phone conversation:

Commodore: "What's carrot? Walrus?"
J.P.: "Out by heads up display, Rhinovirus."
Commodore: "You okay?"
J.P.: "Got rid of psychedelics...hard time crashing."
Commodore: "Grate!!!! United States Two."
J.P.: "Why?"
J.P.: "WALRUS? We damaged heating and air conditioning - Did your walrus think mine understood Swahili?"
Commodore: "No. Hide. Find a hotel."
J.P.: "How long?"
Commodore: "Call you when we get two guns."
J.P.: "Cool."
J.P.: "Big time walrus. Carbon copy want to kill walrus. How to get Armor Off?"
Commodore: "Ring for good reasons. REALLY HARD."
J.P.: "THX!"

While J.P. and Cecilia go walrus hunting for some reason, Commodore and Mo and L.L. and Abisha take refuge in one of Mo's New York apartments with all of his items he purchased on eBay. Or meBay since this is a comic book and you can't seem to mention actual real companies or products in a comic book.

Mo owns Brother Power the Geek?

At the apartment, Commodore 64 gives his big speech about how he wants to use his money to change the world for the better instead of using his money to change the world by exploiting the masses and hoarding wealth. He wants to get weapons off the street and he's ready to form a super team to do so. But he's not sure his friends are willing to risk everything like he is. Abisha knows somebody who might be able to help out though. I don't know who it is because the scene ends so that we can see J.P. and Cecilia make out. I don't know how she can think about sex when who the fuck knows where Bubbles is. Doesn't she care? Oh, I guess when you see your pet as an accessory and not a friend, you can misplace it for days and not really worry too much.

I guess having Nanobots restructure your arm might make you forget about your poor little Ocelot also. Although she didn't have this excuse earlier!

The Green Team #2 Rating: +1 Ranking. I hope Brother Power the Geek gets some life zapped into him so he can hang around with the Green Team and tell them how awful they all are. Or he can join the team because it seems like Mo and the Commodore aren't just spoiled rich kids. Maybe he can be their hippie moral compass, cooking lentils and calling everything a drag.

No comments:

Post a Comment