Did he lose his wallet?
Hmm. I like cupcakes. Did you know that? I liked cupcakes when they were just something your mom could bake in the oven and slather crappy frosting on. Remember when cupcakes cost less than $5 a pop? Our society has created so many empty shells of people that they have no idea who or what they are without their likes and material possessions. So instead of simply liking cupcakes, they have to SUPER DUPER LIKE CUPCAKES AND GO TO CUPCAKE SHOPS AND BE SEEN WITH CUPCAKE SWAG AND OH MY GOD!!! CUPCAKES!!!!
I bet Ralph Waldo Emerson used to run around town bitching about how fancy and trendy scones had suddenly become!
Yes, I'm comparing myself to Ralph Waldo Emerson. "Cupcakes are in the saddle and fuck mankind raw. RAW!"
You know what I just realized? Animal Man might not be about losing his wallet! One of his family members might die! Shit! I should probably read this now!
Remember how Rotworld ended? Swamp Thing and Buddy Baker were granted a do-over by the Parliament of Rot and sent back in time to fix their idiotic choices.
Really? Whatever it takes? I'm pretty sure you don't shout that in the face of fate, you morons! Next thing you know, you'll be frantically fucking each other in the eye sockets to save the world. Or maybe killing your loved ones. That's nearly as horrible a possibility.
"Where is my fucking wallet, you sons of bitches?!"
While Animal Man is quickly approaching TKO territory (that's a sport's reference! It stands for Totally Knocked Out), Ellen is trying to keep Maxine from helping him. I guess she doesn't really love her husband. Maybe that's why he's having such a bad day. He just found out his wife doesn't need his gigantic donkey dick anymore. Or was it the size of a giraffe penis? Did anybody get back to me with the research on how big a giraffe's wiener is?
Oh come on, Ellen! It's not like this is Sophie's Choice! It's either the world or your little girl! I'm pretty sure I know who the world would pick!
The cat's plan, by the way, is for Maxine to heal the Hunters instead of killing them. I thought for sure the plan would be to play with them until you grew bored and wander off, leaving them half-maimed with guts spread across the kitchen floor.
I don't think you'd be able to fill out a super heroine costume yet, Maxine. Goddammit. Now I'm picturing a little girl doing the Boob and Butt Showcase!
And then everybody lived happily ever after! Nothing bad ever happened to the Bakers ever again. Ever. At least if you only read the first seventeen pages which I'm suggesting you do. You can skip the 18th page where Rotten William Arcane comes back. And the 19th page where Cliff dies in Buddy's arms? That page can be torn out altogether. And now that that page is gone, the final page won't make any sense where everyone looks sad and ruined and Buddy still hasn't found his wallet. So you might as well forget about that page too.
Animal Man #18 Rating: +1 Ranking. It's about time Cliff died. Not that I wanted him to die, mind you! It's just that they've been foreshadowing that shit forever!