5. The Flash
Writer: Francis Manapul
Artist: Brian Buccellato
I don't recognize the artist or the writer and the cover isn't anything even close to special. Look! It's The Flash running right at me!
The Flash never interested me much. Although he does seem to be behind all of the big problems in DC Continuity! You know, I don't think I've ever seen The Flash and Ambush Bug in the same place! Hmm.
With this cover, I never would have picked up The Flash. What interests me in The Flash is his Rogue's Gallery of villains. He's got some of the best and I'd name them here if that wouldn't contradict what I just said. Grodd? Captain Boomerang? Captain Cold? Mirror Master? Pretty lame bunch. Except they're some of the most entertainingly written villains. At least as I remember it! Plus, I once threw a Captain Cold themed costume party. I was Captain Cold and the house was my, um, Cold Lair? Lair of Ice?
6. Captain Atom
Writer: J.T. Krul
Artist: Freddie Williams II
I don't recognize the writer or the artist! Captain Atom is too military for me. See? He's a captain! I think he was some sort of military pilot or something as well. Like Hal Jordan! Unless I'm thinking of Hal Jordan.
I remember Captain Atom was in one of the Justice Leagues. I remember Captain Atom ended up in prehistoric times with some major cross-over villain. Was that villain The Anti-Monitor? Was Captain Atom a big player in Crisis? Man, why don't I just Google this crap!
Anyway, I would not have normally picked this up. And not with the cover of his big face and he seems to be doing something nuclear and I think he has a mohawk. Nuklon?
I'm starting to think the editors just told the cover artists for all the issues #1s to "Highlight the heroes!" and that was all the direction they received.
7. The Fury of Firestorm, The Nuclear Men
Writer: Gail Simone
Pencils: Ethan Van Sciver
Inks: Yildiray Cinar
I used to like Firestorm in the cartoons. That's because if a guy could make anything he wanted with his imagination, I liked him. I liked the randomness of him. Batman could be counted on for this as well since he always had some weird Bat-something to get him out of a fix. Like Bat-lube. No. Seriously.
But I hated that he was some young kid who merged with his professor and his professor just basically lost himself in the process. Oh boy! He gets to think at Firestorm and give him advice but he can't do anything else. Meanwhile, he's probably got dishes to do at home and his cat is hungry and who's going to take his sweater vests to the dry cleaner?
The cover of Fury of Firestorm seems to show three Firestorms. And the comic is subtitled the Nuclear Men instead of, I think, the old title of Nuclear Man. So there's a twist right there! I probably would have skipped this title as well.
I've seen the name Gail Simone. I believe she may have been starting out right about when I quit reading comics. I could be super wrong about that. Maybe that's my super power! Placing things incorrectly in historical context! But she made Batgirl hip or groovy or something. Unless it was Catgirl. Or Robgirl.
I don't know the artists.
8. Green Arrow
Writer: J.T. Krul
Pencils: Dan Jurgens
Inks: George Perez
I read some Green Arrow when Kevin Smith was writing it. Okay, yeah. DC lured me in with that trick. Big deal! I'm only human! Unless that history thing is a real power and then I'm only super human!
I believe Green Arrow is anti-corporate. He is green! So he must fight for the environment. Plus he uses arrows. That's environmentally friendly. So I'm going to guess that this Green Arrow is totally corporate! And they hire him to infiltrate places like Greenpeace and, um, Greenpeace at Sea!
I don't know the writer.
It seems weird to me that they have Dan Jurgens being inked by George Perez. DC's contracts must state that each writer or artist or writer/artist must work on so many titles each month. So Dan is off writing JLI and drawing Green Arrow while George is writing Superman and inking Green Arrow. And maybe other stuff.
Also, who knew George Perez was still alive? And while bagging my comics, I noticed Keith Giffen replaces Jurgens on a later episode. Yay!
I probably would have skipped Green Arrow.