This cover's vibe: "Rain" by Concrete Blonde if it were a rap song.
Scanning the cover, I noticed the top bank draught is from Lord Tynsdale and apparently my brain still retains some connections between various neurons because it made me remember the panel where Cerebus's tail explodes out of the front of his pants causing Lady Tynsdale to blush. Or faint. Or orgasm. I don't remember which one of those but we all know which one it isn't but which I hope it is.
Deni decided to go with a full page "A Note from the Publisher" this issue which I think is a bold move. I'm a huge proponent of writing huge amounts of text when you know nobody is reading. It makes it easier to confess your darkest secrets between immature jokes about Batgirl's butthole (sexy) and serious conversations about the state of law enforcement in America (terrible). It's Internet camouflage.
Deni begins "This issue I'm having a bit of trouble trying to write this note to you." She then goes on to have no trouble writing a full page note. I'm eager to discover what she found to talk about! I bet it has something to do with publishing problems and Dave's crushing schedule!
Deni discusses the Diamondback Deck they sold, ways for fans to find out where Cerebus is being sold, and the new volume of Swords of Cerebus coming out which includes the story "What Happened Between Issues 20 and 21." On the latter topic, Deni writes, "Since everyone was asking Dave that question, it seemed obvious that he would have to answer it sooner than he had planned." I don't know if it was "obvious" that he had to tell it. My guess is that Dave was just sick of all the super continuity nerds inundating him with mail saying, "You suck at plotting comic books. I thought you were good at it and then you didn't provide linear narrative between two issues, ending a story with a gimmick instead of a nifty resolution that blew my nerd mind. I will not rest until you rectify this situation and give me answers I don't actually deserve." I often think that Twitter caused the ruination of artistic entertainment because it allowed fans too much access to creators. But I guess, at least in the comic book world, fans were demanding this kind of bullshit service from creators for decades. I bet years later, Dave would regret doing this story, just as creators have often regretted issuing a quick apology to fans over some stupid drama, simply to quell the mob. I bet Sir Gerrick would have been more important if he'd been allowed to appear in the plot on Dave's time.
Deni ends the Note with two exclamation points which is exactly two exclamation points too many.
Dave's part of the introduction to each Bi-weekly installment has become more boring than Deni's Note. It's just a bunch of sketches, mostly of Moon Roach and Artemis Strong (Moon Roach's secret identity). I guess that section is more for the artists reading Cerebus. I'm not an artist; I'm just a dumb ass.
As this issue begins, we find Cerebus with a serious problem on his hands: floofy hair. Oh, also, Holland, who had just cancelled Iest's debt to his company, was murdered followed by two Tarimite inquisitors who were questioning Cerebus, at the time of the murder, about Holland's murder. That's probably the problem I should have led with.
Deni decided to go with a full page "A Note from the Publisher" this issue which I think is a bold move. I'm a huge proponent of writing huge amounts of text when you know nobody is reading. It makes it easier to confess your darkest secrets between immature jokes about Batgirl's butthole (sexy) and serious conversations about the state of law enforcement in America (terrible). It's Internet camouflage.
Deni begins "This issue I'm having a bit of trouble trying to write this note to you." She then goes on to have no trouble writing a full page note. I'm eager to discover what she found to talk about! I bet it has something to do with publishing problems and Dave's crushing schedule!
Deni discusses the Diamondback Deck they sold, ways for fans to find out where Cerebus is being sold, and the new volume of Swords of Cerebus coming out which includes the story "What Happened Between Issues 20 and 21." On the latter topic, Deni writes, "Since everyone was asking Dave that question, it seemed obvious that he would have to answer it sooner than he had planned." I don't know if it was "obvious" that he had to tell it. My guess is that Dave was just sick of all the super continuity nerds inundating him with mail saying, "You suck at plotting comic books. I thought you were good at it and then you didn't provide linear narrative between two issues, ending a story with a gimmick instead of a nifty resolution that blew my nerd mind. I will not rest until you rectify this situation and give me answers I don't actually deserve." I often think that Twitter caused the ruination of artistic entertainment because it allowed fans too much access to creators. But I guess, at least in the comic book world, fans were demanding this kind of bullshit service from creators for decades. I bet years later, Dave would regret doing this story, just as creators have often regretted issuing a quick apology to fans over some stupid drama, simply to quell the mob. I bet Sir Gerrick would have been more important if he'd been allowed to appear in the plot on Dave's time.
Deni ends the Note with two exclamation points which is exactly two exclamation points too many.
Dave's part of the introduction to each Bi-weekly installment has become more boring than Deni's Note. It's just a bunch of sketches, mostly of Moon Roach and Artemis Strong (Moon Roach's secret identity). I guess that section is more for the artists reading Cerebus. I'm not an artist; I'm just a dumb ass.
As this issue begins, we find Cerebus with a serious problem on his hands: floofy hair. Oh, also, Holland, who had just cancelled Iest's debt to his company, was murdered followed by two Tarimite inquisitors who were questioning Cerebus, at the time of the murder, about Holland's murder. That's probably the problem I should have led with.
No truer words have been spoken than when Cerebus says he needs something more effective than the truth.
Before I get into my review or commentary or memoir or whatever the fuck this is I'm doing, I'd like to ask that you not look at The Regency Elf's butt like that. She's my fictional hump mistress. You can go jerk off to Scarlet Widow or Lois Big-Titties or whatever.
After the public murders of the people I mentioned previously (quite public being that they were assassinated by having a giant stone crescent moon thrown on top of them), the Prime Minister of Iest is demanding that Cerebus either come up with Holland's contract of the debt cancellation (which could implicate him in Holland's death) or pay back the 12,000 gold crown ransom the city paid to free Cerebus. Cerebus has half an hour to come up with a scheme to get him out of this situation, preferably one that doesn't involve the Moon Roach and a giant stone moon and the Prime Minister. Although, I mean, maybe that would work?
Oh! Another plan would be for Cerebus to run against the Prime Minister, get elected, and cancel the debt to himself! Also he could get into bed with Astoria (so to speak) and she could do all the business stuff and make lots of money and unknowingly manipulate his life for her own ends. That one seems the easiest and the one I'd probably choose.
Astoria and Moon Roach show up, having broken into Cerebus's Regency Hotel Room, which is absolutely dark because either Cerebus doesn't own any candles, Cerebus doesn't know about the electric lights, or Dave Sim was tired of drawing wallpaper and non-essential furnishings. Astoria has a business proposition but Cerebus just wants to kill The Cockroach.
After the public murders of the people I mentioned previously (quite public being that they were assassinated by having a giant stone crescent moon thrown on top of them), the Prime Minister of Iest is demanding that Cerebus either come up with Holland's contract of the debt cancellation (which could implicate him in Holland's death) or pay back the 12,000 gold crown ransom the city paid to free Cerebus. Cerebus has half an hour to come up with a scheme to get him out of this situation, preferably one that doesn't involve the Moon Roach and a giant stone moon and the Prime Minister. Although, I mean, maybe that would work?
Oh! Another plan would be for Cerebus to run against the Prime Minister, get elected, and cancel the debt to himself! Also he could get into bed with Astoria (so to speak) and she could do all the business stuff and make lots of money and unknowingly manipulate his life for her own ends. That one seems the easiest and the one I'd probably choose.
Astoria and Moon Roach show up, having broken into Cerebus's Regency Hotel Room, which is absolutely dark because either Cerebus doesn't own any candles, Cerebus doesn't know about the electric lights, or Dave Sim was tired of drawing wallpaper and non-essential furnishings. Astoria has a business proposition but Cerebus just wants to kill The Cockroach.
Maybe double exclamation points is a Canadian thing?
See? Look at that panel? How can Dave Sim be a misogynist when he seems to absolutely understand the difference in maturity levels between men and women?! Granted, this is one panel in 6000 pages of story so it might not be the best evidence to that argument.
Before discussing her business proposition, Astoria has to fix Cerebus's financial debt to Iest. She suggests he, being the Kitchen Staff Supervisor of Palnu (and you know how important that position is. Duh! Obviously), raise the tariff on Palnu goods imported into Iest by 3 percent. Right now I am nodding my head enthusiastically so that anybody looking at me would think I totally understood what that means.
I have an Uncle-in-law who is basically conservative but he understands the terrible things conservatives often think and so believes himself to be an intellectual centrist. One time, I mentioned how people with terrible politics don't like to discuss their politics and he was all, "But how does one decide what is terrible?" And I was all, "You get to decide." Then I clarified I wasn't being snarky but serious in the sense that we all need to, first and foremost, take care of our own mental health and if somebody is always espousing uncompassionate, selfish bullcrap as their politics, it seems right that you'd want less and less to do with them. His response to "terrible politics" was to try to discuss how one decides if tariffs are terrible being that he sees good reasons for both sides of the argument, depending on what each person's career demands. And I was like, "No, no. That's actual policy you're discussing! Nobody discusses actual policy! Stop being so rational when reading my hyperbolic tweets! You know I don't mean that people who believe tariffs should be decreased should just shut the fuck up because they're ruining Thanksgiving dinner!"
I mean, anybody discussing tariffs at Thanksgiving are ruining the dinner, really.
Astoria's plan gets the government off Cerebus's back which probably means it also gets the church off his back. And now Astoria is in a stronger negotiating place for her business proposition.
Before discussing her business proposition, Astoria has to fix Cerebus's financial debt to Iest. She suggests he, being the Kitchen Staff Supervisor of Palnu (and you know how important that position is. Duh! Obviously), raise the tariff on Palnu goods imported into Iest by 3 percent. Right now I am nodding my head enthusiastically so that anybody looking at me would think I totally understood what that means.
I have an Uncle-in-law who is basically conservative but he understands the terrible things conservatives often think and so believes himself to be an intellectual centrist. One time, I mentioned how people with terrible politics don't like to discuss their politics and he was all, "But how does one decide what is terrible?" And I was all, "You get to decide." Then I clarified I wasn't being snarky but serious in the sense that we all need to, first and foremost, take care of our own mental health and if somebody is always espousing uncompassionate, selfish bullcrap as their politics, it seems right that you'd want less and less to do with them. His response to "terrible politics" was to try to discuss how one decides if tariffs are terrible being that he sees good reasons for both sides of the argument, depending on what each person's career demands. And I was like, "No, no. That's actual policy you're discussing! Nobody discusses actual policy! Stop being so rational when reading my hyperbolic tweets! You know I don't mean that people who believe tariffs should be decreased should just shut the fuck up because they're ruining Thanksgiving dinner!"
I mean, anybody discussing tariffs at Thanksgiving are ruining the dinner, really.
Astoria's plan gets the government off Cerebus's back which probably means it also gets the church off his back. And now Astoria is in a stronger negotiating place for her business proposition.
I always believe people who have lied to me continuously since I first met them when they say they're done lying. That's probably why my credit is so bad.
Astoria doesn't tell Cerebus her "business proposition" other than "You will become quite wealthy if you follow my lead and constantly obey me." She then allows him five questions. Is that a thing people really do? It seems better to just be all, "I'll tell you what I think you need to know when I think you need to know it." Or, "I'm not telling you anything. Just do what I say." I guess it's just a cool power play to be all, "I will answer five questions!" And then it's even better when they say something like, "Just five?" And you're all, "Yes, it's just an arbitrary number. You have four questions left!" My next job interview, I'm going to hand them my resume and say, "I will answer five questions. Choose wisely." I bet they'll be so impressed that their first question will be "How soon can you start?!"
Cerebus's second question (his first one was about an unknown door in his Regency Hotel room that he hadn't noticed before, probably because the room was so dark) is "Why did Lord Julius make me Kitchen Staff Supervisor?" Astoria doesn't know the exact answer to it but she can speculate on it, being that she's his ex-wife. I don't think Cerebus knows she's his ex-wife yet. He just realizes she knows quite a bit about local politics. Also, nobody really knows why Lord Julius does what he does, so why not get as many other opinions on it as Cerebus can? Astoria believes it's either a huge joke (only really funny to Lord Julius, like most of his jokes. I get that!) or Lord Julius really thought Cerebus would make a good apprentice to his absurdity. Astoria probably thinks it's a joke being that Lord Julius thinks some really damaging and insulting things can be seen as "jokes." See Jaka's Story for his terrible sense of humor.
Cerebus's second question (his first one was about an unknown door in his Regency Hotel room that he hadn't noticed before, probably because the room was so dark) is "Why did Lord Julius make me Kitchen Staff Supervisor?" Astoria doesn't know the exact answer to it but she can speculate on it, being that she's his ex-wife. I don't think Cerebus knows she's his ex-wife yet. He just realizes she knows quite a bit about local politics. Also, nobody really knows why Lord Julius does what he does, so why not get as many other opinions on it as Cerebus can? Astoria believes it's either a huge joke (only really funny to Lord Julius, like most of his jokes. I get that!) or Lord Julius really thought Cerebus would make a good apprentice to his absurdity. Astoria probably thinks it's a joke being that Lord Julius thinks some really damaging and insulting things can be seen as "jokes." See Jaka's Story for his terrible sense of humor.
This is a danger of bureaucracy that I never considered!
Astoria begins a letter writing campaign that causes envelopes filled with cash to be sent to Cerebus. His third question is "Am I rich yet?" That makes me think his fourth question will be "Am I drunk yet?" and his fifth question, having gotten quite drunk after the fourth one, will be "Am I rich yet?" Astoria doesn't answer if he's rich but just asks him how much money he wants. He asks for 1000 crowns and gets it. So I'd say he's rich. Although is he rich due to a Ponzi scheme? Probably.
Earlier in the comic (a week or two? a month?), Cerebus asked the Elf to leave so he could think. That's when Astoria arrived and he went into business with her. After Cerebus gets some money from Astoria, the Elf finally reappears with some news that would have been beneficial to Cerebus much earlier.
Earlier in the comic (a week or two? a month?), Cerebus asked the Elf to leave so he could think. That's when Astoria arrived and he went into business with her. After Cerebus gets some money from Astoria, the Elf finally reappears with some news that would have been beneficial to Cerebus much earlier.
That'll teach Cerebus to dismiss his skeptical hallucination willy-nilly.
Earlier, Cerebus recounts a time in his life when he made an elf mad and lived to regret it. So he doesn't want to get mad at the Regency Elf even though she's put a damper on his enthusiasm for Astoria and her money making abilities. So he tries to hide his anger inside but then accidentally "sends" the angry message "You're only saying that because you think you're so hot!" to the Elf. "Sends" is Richard and Wendy Pini speak for telepathy. It's what Cerebus does with the Elf. You can tell because Dave uses the same "diamond on the forehead" image that is used in Elfquest.
I've been reading so much Thomas Pynchon and Kurt Vonnegut since last August that I decided I needed to get back to reading pap fantasy garbage for a bit. Anything that I wouldn't have to think about. Which is odd because I began reading Gravity's Rainbow last summer because I'd read so much fantasy and sci-fi garbage for months that I needed something to really think about. Anyway, I restarted re-reading the Xanth novels I own. I was up to Isle of View which I'd forgotten all about. But apparently it has an elf character that transported to Xanth from the World of Two-Moons. So that's another thing I've been reading this month which has borrowed from Elfquest.
Anyway, Cerebus made the Elf mad so now she's probably going to make his life hell.
Cerebus receives a suspicious package and immediately throws it in the fire, assuming it's some terrible prank from the Elf. Immediately after receiving the package, the Inquisition arrives to search the hotel room for drugs. They find nothing because Cerebus was so paranoid. If I remember correctly, the drugs aren't from the Elf trying to get Cerebus in trouble. I think she pulls some really tame prank sometime later. But if it isn't the Elf, somebody is definitely trying to end Cerebus's influence on the Prime Minister.
While burning the drugs, Astoria gets high and randy. She begins trying to fuck Cerebus when the Moon Roach comes home. The Moon Roach thinks he's Astoria's boyfriend so he's a little bit angry about the whole attempted fucking thing. It's probably lucky for Cerebus that Moon Roach can't fit a giant stone crescent moon in through the window.
That's the cliffhanger ending of this issue! You know what would be a surprise twist next issue? If the Moon Roach wasn't mad at Cerebus honing in on his girl but was mad at Astoria for trying to rape somebody else!
I have no comments on Aardvark Comments. Or the Single Page. Thank you!
Cerebus #32 Rating: A. Cerebus's business deal with Astoria and Moon Roach really feel, to me, like the beginning of "how I define Cerebus." What I mean is that the first 25 issues feel like a starting point. They're consistent in what they do—fantasy and comic book parody—but they feel quite separated from the rest of Sim's 300 issue run. It isn't until High Society that Cerebus really begins to take on the uniform of the entire run. And even within High Society, it's not until this issue that I really feel Cerebus becoming the comic book I envision when I think of Cerebus. Is that understandable? I hope so because I don't want to become Getrude Stein in my harping on in slightly diminishing concentric logic circles while trying to explain exactly how I feel.
I've been reading so much Thomas Pynchon and Kurt Vonnegut since last August that I decided I needed to get back to reading pap fantasy garbage for a bit. Anything that I wouldn't have to think about. Which is odd because I began reading Gravity's Rainbow last summer because I'd read so much fantasy and sci-fi garbage for months that I needed something to really think about. Anyway, I restarted re-reading the Xanth novels I own. I was up to Isle of View which I'd forgotten all about. But apparently it has an elf character that transported to Xanth from the World of Two-Moons. So that's another thing I've been reading this month which has borrowed from Elfquest.
Anyway, Cerebus made the Elf mad so now she's probably going to make his life hell.
Cerebus receives a suspicious package and immediately throws it in the fire, assuming it's some terrible prank from the Elf. Immediately after receiving the package, the Inquisition arrives to search the hotel room for drugs. They find nothing because Cerebus was so paranoid. If I remember correctly, the drugs aren't from the Elf trying to get Cerebus in trouble. I think she pulls some really tame prank sometime later. But if it isn't the Elf, somebody is definitely trying to end Cerebus's influence on the Prime Minister.
While burning the drugs, Astoria gets high and randy. She begins trying to fuck Cerebus when the Moon Roach comes home. The Moon Roach thinks he's Astoria's boyfriend so he's a little bit angry about the whole attempted fucking thing. It's probably lucky for Cerebus that Moon Roach can't fit a giant stone crescent moon in through the window.
That's the cliffhanger ending of this issue! You know what would be a surprise twist next issue? If the Moon Roach wasn't mad at Cerebus honing in on his girl but was mad at Astoria for trying to rape somebody else!
I have no comments on Aardvark Comments. Or the Single Page. Thank you!
Cerebus #32 Rating: A. Cerebus's business deal with Astoria and Moon Roach really feel, to me, like the beginning of "how I define Cerebus." What I mean is that the first 25 issues feel like a starting point. They're consistent in what they do—fantasy and comic book parody—but they feel quite separated from the rest of Sim's 300 issue run. It isn't until High Society that Cerebus really begins to take on the uniform of the entire run. And even within High Society, it's not until this issue that I really feel Cerebus becoming the comic book I envision when I think of Cerebus. Is that understandable? I hope so because I don't want to become Getrude Stein in my harping on in slightly diminishing concentric logic circles while trying to explain exactly how I feel.
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