Cerebus is fucking the chair while the terrified guy masturbates.
I should probably be less filthy while writing "reviews." But I know my main audience is perverts so what can I do?
Deni's "A Note from the Publisher" always sounds like somebody signing the yearbook of someone that was in two of their classes but they never really got to know them that well and they're desperately trying to vamp so that they don't just squeak out a quick "Have a nice summer!" and feel like a huge douchebag. At least that's what I finally realized they sound like after thirty issues. This note was the longest one yet which doesn't mean it gave me more information than the others; it just meant I was bored for a longer amount of time.
I have two goals to better myself as a person: be kinder and be more earnest. But they're conflicting because I know I should be kinder to Deni about her space-filling notes but I'm also trying to be earnest about how I feel! That's just a poor excuse to be a dick though, isn't it? I think I'm supposed to be earnest about vulnerable aspects of myself and not earnest in that way dickhole jerks are earnest when they excuse themselves for being assholes because, hey, they're just being honest! I want to be better! I really do!
But, I mean, do I?
Let's just see how it goes.
"Notebooks" has some sketches and some notes. I don't read the notes because they're probably spoilers for the issue I'm about to read, right?! And while I'm not totally against spoilers, why seek them out? Especially five seconds before you read the thing you're going to spoil?!
Deni's "A Note from the Publisher" always sounds like somebody signing the yearbook of someone that was in two of their classes but they never really got to know them that well and they're desperately trying to vamp so that they don't just squeak out a quick "Have a nice summer!" and feel like a huge douchebag. At least that's what I finally realized they sound like after thirty issues. This note was the longest one yet which doesn't mean it gave me more information than the others; it just meant I was bored for a longer amount of time.
I have two goals to better myself as a person: be kinder and be more earnest. But they're conflicting because I know I should be kinder to Deni about her space-filling notes but I'm also trying to be earnest about how I feel! That's just a poor excuse to be a dick though, isn't it? I think I'm supposed to be earnest about vulnerable aspects of myself and not earnest in that way dickhole jerks are earnest when they excuse themselves for being assholes because, hey, they're just being honest! I want to be better! I really do!
But, I mean, do I?
Let's just see how it goes.
"Notebooks" has some sketches and some notes. I don't read the notes because they're probably spoilers for the issue I'm about to read, right?! And while I'm not totally against spoilers, why seek them out? Especially five seconds before you read the thing you're going to spoil?!
I know I tend to concentrate on the Regency Elf's butt so here are her boobies for the fans of her boobies.
This issue is called "Debts" which is an anagram for "St. Bed," my favorite Saint. You can also make an easy palindrome: "St. Bed's debts."
Cerebus meets with the Prime Minister this issue to discuss Cerebus's debt of twelve thousand gold crowns. The Prime Minister reveals he never really thought he'd be able to get any money out of Cerebus but he needed to try because the Pope is going to audit the city and the Prime Minister's books are off by about a 750,000 gold crowns. This all takes place in what is kind of a medieval world so when the Church disapproves of something you've done, you can bet restitution is going to include a certain amount of physical torture and/or death. So the Prime Minister is calling in all of the debts against him. He knew Cerebus was going to keep putting him off but he liked the way Cerebus blackmailed Greeley. He's looking for some pointers.
If Dave's view of politics wasn't so accurate, I'd think he was a paranoid cynic!
Cerebus meets with the Prime Minister this issue to discuss Cerebus's debt of twelve thousand gold crowns. The Prime Minister reveals he never really thought he'd be able to get any money out of Cerebus but he needed to try because the Pope is going to audit the city and the Prime Minister's books are off by about a 750,000 gold crowns. This all takes place in what is kind of a medieval world so when the Church disapproves of something you've done, you can bet restitution is going to include a certain amount of physical torture and/or death. So the Prime Minister is calling in all of the debts against him. He knew Cerebus was going to keep putting him off but he liked the way Cerebus blackmailed Greeley. He's looking for some pointers.
If Dave's view of politics wasn't so accurate, I'd think he was a paranoid cynic!
This panel explains all of Cerebus's schemes to get out of his debt and/or the Regency Elf's butt.
I forget why it's so dark in Cerebus's suite. I'm sure Dave makes up some reason for it later. It probably has something to do with Cerebus living in the walk-in closet thinking it's the main part of the room.
Look, I know the real reason! It's because Dave doesn't like drawing chairs and wallpaper and potted plants! You did read the part where I said Dave would make up a reason for it later? That's because we all know the real reason for it now!
Cerebus gets Holland M. Hadden drunk, tricks him into giving up the debt Iest owes his company, and then tries to send him on his way. Part of his ploy is to convince Hadden that there's a conspiracy to destroy Iest's economy. It isn't true. Cerebus is just making it up. But Cerebus is also an aardvark with weird magical side-effects to the things he does. One of those side-effects might just be creating the conspiracy as soon as he imagines it. Because after Hadden is basically thrown out of the Regency by Cerebus, the Moon Roach squishes him with a solid stone sculpture of a crescent moon.
Look, I know the real reason! It's because Dave doesn't like drawing chairs and wallpaper and potted plants! You did read the part where I said Dave would make up a reason for it later? That's because we all know the real reason for it now!
Cerebus gets Holland M. Hadden drunk, tricks him into giving up the debt Iest owes his company, and then tries to send him on his way. Part of his ploy is to convince Hadden that there's a conspiracy to destroy Iest's economy. It isn't true. Cerebus is just making it up. But Cerebus is also an aardvark with weird magical side-effects to the things he does. One of those side-effects might just be creating the conspiracy as soon as he imagines it. Because after Hadden is basically thrown out of the Regency by Cerebus, the Moon Roach squishes him with a solid stone sculpture of a crescent moon.
Economic conspiracy, you say? (Not shown here: the Regency Elf's butt)
Aardvark Comment has a letter from some guy who lives in Sunnyvale. He also mentioned Santa Cruz in his letter. It was practically like reading about home!
Cerebus #30 Rating: B+. Drinking. Blackmail. Hunting. Hotel Elfs in short skirts with low bodices. An insane man committing murder. This comic book had everything! No wait. It must have been missing something or else I would have given it an A rating. Oh well! I give my rating a C+.
Cerebus #30 Rating: B+. Drinking. Blackmail. Hunting. Hotel Elfs in short skirts with low bodices. An insane man committing murder. This comic book had everything! No wait. It must have been missing something or else I would have given it an A rating. Oh well! I give my rating a C+.
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