Tuesday, October 27, 2020

Cerebus #19 (1980)


Is this StarRoach or RoachFire?

"A Note from the Publisher" gives me nothing to work with so aside from this sentence, I will not be discussing it. And also this sentence. Or not that sentence but this sentence since I forgot to mention "A Note from the Publisher" in the previous sentence.

Dave's essay from Swords of Cerebus gives me more to work with so I'll be discussing that in the following X number of sentences. I will not counting the sentences and then replacing the X with that number. The X, as we all know, is the king of variables and you should understand the work it's doing.

Dave begins the essay with "This is when the story started getting a little weird." You read that correctly. Weird wasn't when the erdschweine first road into the villaggio on the caballo. Weird wasn't the introduction of the frenetic albino Foghorn Leghorn. Weird wasn't even the amnesiac merchant who became a hissing vigilante every night. Weird wasn't Groucho Marx governing a literal bureaucracy. Weird was this issue when he begins to lay the foundation of the Cirinists and Kevillists. Sim has already introduced a whole bunch of nationalities that I can't keep straight and now he expects me to follow the intricacies and dogma of two embittered sects at constant odds with each other? I've read the first half of Cerebus quite a few times (and the last half or so just the once. Probably everything post Guys) and I'll be damned if I can remember where Kevillists and Cirinists differed on anything. I think Kevillists are okay with abortion but Cirinists think it's the worst thing you can do. Also Kevillists are daughters and Cirinists are mothers, if that helps clear up anything. I promise to try to pay more attention during this read through.


Early on, we discover Cerebus is against sex work. But don't worry! He's not a total prude! He's all for rape (within the confines of marriage, of course! I'm sure Christians and Conservatives would agree).

Dave Sim is also against sex work but I'm not going to simply assume that everything that Cerebus thinks, Dave also thinks. Dave probably doesn't think stabbing an unconscious opponent in the face after you've beaten them in a brawl is acceptable behavior. Probably, of course. I wouldn't want to assume anything of the author's beliefs simply because of the way the characters he writes act! Dave might love stabbing unconscious people in the face! You've got to find some kind of a hobby when you completely stop orgasming.

Lord Gorce is busy trying to raise an army to defend Palnu (under Lord Julius' instructions) by swindling and manipulating other leaders into giving him access to their armies. He seems a bit overly confident in his abilities so I suspect he'll be dead before Cerebus even knows he exists. Cerebus is also continuing to try to raise an army to capture Palnu. And like all good Dungeons & Dragons campaigns, this leads to somebody sending him on a quest for a priceless artifact. Unlike a good Dungeons & Dragons campaign, Cerebus won't wind up slaughtering a whole orc community in their lair while somehow retaining the alignment of Lawful Good.


In his quest for the priceless artifact, Cerebus once again encounters Henrot and Red Sophia. Well sort of Red Sophia. A magical clone of Red Sophia.

Ultimately, Cerebus is drugged and kidnapped by the fortune teller slash sex worker Perce. Kevillists and Cirinists don't show up this issue but this is the first part of a multi-issue story that will introduce the two sects. Or ideologies. Or clubs? I don't know. What I do know is that they're both groups of people who love to tell other groups of people how to live. That's probably why they come into conflict with Cerebus because only Cerebus tells Cerebus how to live. Except when he's feeling particularly guilty and thinks Tarim might be watching. Then maybe Tarim can throw out a little advice. Even Dave tries to warn Cerebus about dying unmourned and unloved and Cerebus is all, "Dave? What the fuck's a Dave? Get the fuck out of here, you non-masturbating freak!" Then Cerebus shoves a sword up his vagina.

I might be remembering some parts of the story out of order. And incorrectly. Most of my brain power is currently tied up in trying to understand Gravity's Rainbow.

Michael Loubert's "the aardvarkian age" continues to be a huge disappointment. I thought I was going to get a bunch of funny extras about Estarcion and Cerebus but instead I've just gotten additional ill-written reading material that I can barely comprehend. The ill-written part is Loubert's fault; the barely comprehending is most likely my own.

Cerebus #19 Rating: B+. I wonder if women are more comfortable and less self-conscious about being naked because their naked form is basically the same as their clothed form (especially if they're wearing a shirt which allows their nipples to poke through). But as a guy, you've got this added dongle dangling there just acting goofy. I'm not trying to suggest that penises aren't sexy; they obviously are! So nice to look at! But it is a bit weird to look at yourself in the mirror while brushing your teeth naked (the way everybody does it, right?) and have to see that thing just sort of hanging there like a wilted bunch of grapes. Erotic grapes, of course! Um, that's all.

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