Catwoman #11

All it took to fix Selina's zipper was for Guillem March to start working on a new title?

Nope! It's still busted. And get off the fucking kitchen counter, you Goddamned cat!

I just noticed that the cover was by Guillem March! I guess he thought it was too somber and sad to have her tits falling out of her costume. I don't know. The dead girl's thong is showing. That's pretty hot. A little cleavage wouldn't hurt. And maybe Dollhouse's balls hanging out of his skirt. That cover would still have a sad tone, right?

Back in Alvarez's apartment which Catwoman broke into last issue to try to get his help with the Dollhouse case, Alvarez tackles Catwoman off of the kitchen counter because he prepares his food there! He also apparently has two refrigerators in his apartment. That seems a bit suspicious.

To her right.

To her left. One must be for food and the other is for prostitutes.

The noises from the altercation bring one of the Detective's neighbors to the door to check on him. But Catwoman screams like she's having sex and the neighbor goes away. This is just more evidence that one of those fridges houses sex worker body parts. This comic might be more interesting from Detective Alvarez's point of view. He can't stop himself from killing hookers but in his day job, he's a law abiding detective that doesn't take bribes and thinks of himself as better than the dirty Gotham Cops. But then Catwoman gets him to help her on this case where he confronts Dollhouse, a criminal who also kidnaps sex workers off the streets of Gotham. Now Alvarez has to confront his own inner demons while trying to arrest Dollhouse. As he realizes he's no better than Dollhouse, Alvarez kills Dollhouse in a blind rage. Alvarez disappears and takes up the mantle of Dollhouse in Coast City.

It's got to be better than listening to Catwoman narration box her fight with Alvarez as if she's lecturing a college course with the film playing and she's just put it on pause to say:

There is no craft being honed here. Winick is just vomiting out a story as it comes to him. Why would Catwoman think like this in the moment? She wouldn't, you fucking hack. Now I've been pulled out of the story and I don't even fucking care why Alvarez has two refrigerators anymore.

Catwoman finally gets control of the situation while I think about what to eat for breakfast after breeze through this comic I suddenly don't care about.

"Shit! She's on to me!"

Alvarez is a grown man so he doesn't have to hide his boner when Catwoman gets off him to leave the way Blue Beetle does. Not that he doesn't have one! He just doesn't have to hide it!

Meanwhile, The Dollhouse is busy with problems of his own. He's got deadlines he can't fulfill, product spoiling. and clients breathing down his neck. And now he needs to hit the streets to collect more inventory. Owning your own business is such a pain in the ass sometimes. But I do realize one thing that allows me to forgive Winick's crappy Narration Boxing: The Dollhouse is a full-fledged villain with his own personal motives and history that have nothing at all to do with Catwoman. Catwoman isn't even a super hero and she has better villains than the Justice League!

Luckily for Catwoman and Detective Alvarez (and the readers so they don't have to read fifteen boring stakeouts, night after night), Dollhouse hits the street on the very night they go out to look for him! Catwoman also has Sparky Boy helping out because she needed a third set of eyes and a penis.

Dollhouse appears in Catwoman's territory.

And Sparky's territory.

And Alvarez's territory.

Oh, The Dollhouse is female. Go back and reread everything but change any incorrect pronouns.
The Dollhouse steals a bunch of sex workers along with Detective Alvarez. Catwoman arrives on the scene too late. She finds a bunch of drugged prostitutes with tranquilizer darts in their arms. The stress of business is really getting to The Dollhouse. She's getting careless and leaving a trail of sleepy hookers across Gotham!

Perhaps next issue will be the wedding of the year between Detective Alvarez and The Dollhouse! They'll have a ceremony and kiss and exchange rings and cut the Cake. Cake is capitalized because it's the name of a fifteen year old male prostitute they covered with frosting to celebrate their union.

Catwoman #11 Rating: No change. I just now noticed the cover says, "Dollhouse unmasked"! I guess I was concentrating too much on Selina's boobs.