The Conglomerate fucks.
Giffen and DeMatteis's Justice League was so popular in the late 80s and early 90s that some accountant at DC counting the stacks of cash it was bringing in realized DC wasn't printing enough Justice League to fill demand. He did some quick calculations on how much more money they could squeeze out of fans without killing enthusiasm for the Justice League. With dollar signs in his eyes, he rushed into Jenette Kahn's office and screamed, "We need 80 more pages of Justice League every three months!" Jenette Kahn, seeing that his pupils had turned into actual dollar signs and the tumescence in his pants, stood up and pounded her desk with her fist. "Make it so! Get down to the oubliette and let Giffen and DeMatteis know we need more, more, more!" And that's why this comic book exists.
I'm surprised how much use the Justice League teams got out of the Justice League #1 cover pose over the years without it feeling like they'd gone one too many. This cover has at least eight separate short stories happening all at once. It's just lovely. And Batman's face blocked by the logo is just a heroic choice to make.
In the regular, normal, best series of Justice League which obviously takes place in America, Booster Gold was up to something. He'd become sick of everybody thinking he was Blue Beetle's best friend so he moved on to form his own team. Knowing that fans probably wouldn't put up with some kind of backdoor pilot in the pages of Justice League America where a whole issue would focus on The Conglomerate and what Booster was up to, DC did the smart thing: charged fans $2.95 to read a comic book with "Justice League" on the title but which was mostly about The Conglomerate. It must have been okay with the fans because at least ten quarterly issues were published (I say at least because I have 10 of them. It's possible they kept going and I just reached my limit of them). This one begins by showing that Max Lord has been spying on Booster Gold. This establishes the connection needed to have a Conglomerate comic book under a Justice League title.
Claire Montgomery, the ostensible brains behind The Conglomerate, has gathered together representatives of all the most vile corporations in the DC Universe, some of which aren't completely transparent simulacrums of actual companies (like Stagg Industries and LexCorp!). She is looking for funding and who better to fund a new superhero team than the people with all of the money? I mean "who better" in that they've got the cash but not "who better" in that they're definitely going to want their interests looked after by the bought and paid for superheroes. But I'm sure Claire and Booster have thought of a way to protect The Conglomerate from that kind of corruption!
I'm surprised how much use the Justice League teams got out of the Justice League #1 cover pose over the years without it feeling like they'd gone one too many. This cover has at least eight separate short stories happening all at once. It's just lovely. And Batman's face blocked by the logo is just a heroic choice to make.
In the regular, normal, best series of Justice League which obviously takes place in America, Booster Gold was up to something. He'd become sick of everybody thinking he was Blue Beetle's best friend so he moved on to form his own team. Knowing that fans probably wouldn't put up with some kind of backdoor pilot in the pages of Justice League America where a whole issue would focus on The Conglomerate and what Booster was up to, DC did the smart thing: charged fans $2.95 to read a comic book with "Justice League" on the title but which was mostly about The Conglomerate. It must have been okay with the fans because at least ten quarterly issues were published (I say at least because I have 10 of them. It's possible they kept going and I just reached my limit of them). This one begins by showing that Max Lord has been spying on Booster Gold. This establishes the connection needed to have a Conglomerate comic book under a Justice League title.
Claire Montgomery, the ostensible brains behind The Conglomerate, has gathered together representatives of all the most vile corporations in the DC Universe, some of which aren't completely transparent simulacrums of actual companies (like Stagg Industries and LexCorp!). She is looking for funding and who better to fund a new superhero team than the people with all of the money? I mean "who better" in that they've got the cash but not "who better" in that they're definitely going to want their interests looked after by the bought and paid for superheroes. But I'm sure Claire and Booster have thought of a way to protect The Conglomerate from that kind of corruption!
Oh, good plan! Not like the public won't see these corporations as even more vile once the corporations use The Conglomerate to destroy Greenpeace boats and cover-up toxic spills in heavily populated areas!
Claire believes when people see The Conglomerate save the world, they'll think, "Shell Oil really does care about us!" She introduces the team to the corporate monkeys and I'm surprised their first and only question isn't, "Why aren't are logos on their jackets?"
The Conglomerate is composed of seven members. Booster Gold, the leader, who can fly, project a forcefield, and knows whatever Skeets knows (otherwise he knows next to nothing). Praxis (not on the cover) is a large blonde man with a ponytail who apparently has mind powers as great as Doctor Fate's magic? With a name like Praxis, I imagine he's a Twitter reply guy know-it-all actually nerd. I despise him at first sight. Gypsy is Gypsy. You know Gypsy! It's Gypsy! From previous incarnations of the League! She has camouflaging powers and her long skirt has pockets. Echo is the small red head who can reflect forces back at their origins. Her kryptonite is the quack of a duck (that's a joke, you fucking Internet Praxes! Lay off me with your kneejerk need to correct everybody just trying to have a little laugh!). Vapor, the woman on the cover whose top Flash is looking down, can turn into an acidic mist and melt the face off her enemies. Sounds like the kind of power a good guy should not have! Maxi-man, the guy on the cover who is going to be sued by Superman over the spit curl, is basically blond Superman. Last and certainly least based on being Vibe's brother is Reverb (the dour guy dwarfed by Maxi-man on the cover). He has the same powers as Vibe but with less break dancing and street lingo (I'm assuming! He might wind up being the same kind of racist caricature as Vibe was!). None of their uniforms match in any way but they all have matching jackets. I'm assuming as soon as a corporation ponies up some start-up cash, the jackets will be covered in various logos. And whoever puts up the most money will probably get a name sponsorship: The Conglomerate brought to you by BlackRock.
My main issue with the team is the redundancy of the sound heroes. Do they really need both Echo and Reverb? Along with Maxi-man and Booster, they sound like an 80's boom box. Also who needs Gypsy on the team? Oh boy, she can hide really well! Her skirt's pockets are more useful than her super power.
After the meeting which isn't resolved one way or the other because it will probably be apparent later in the story, some guy with telekinetic powers attacks Dupree Chemical because it was their carelessness that resulted in his powers. It's just the kind of attack that Max Lord would have come up with to get Dupree Chemical interested in super powered protection! Claire must have also got all of her ideas from mob movies! If it is Claire's doing, she also tipped off the Justice League so that they would show first. Then The Conglomerate can show up and make the experienced heroes look like rookies (because it's a set-up! Obviously they'd know how to defeat the terrorist with their inside knowledge from Claire).
The Conglomerate is composed of seven members. Booster Gold, the leader, who can fly, project a forcefield, and knows whatever Skeets knows (otherwise he knows next to nothing). Praxis (not on the cover) is a large blonde man with a ponytail who apparently has mind powers as great as Doctor Fate's magic? With a name like Praxis, I imagine he's a Twitter reply guy know-it-all actually nerd. I despise him at first sight. Gypsy is Gypsy. You know Gypsy! It's Gypsy! From previous incarnations of the League! She has camouflaging powers and her long skirt has pockets. Echo is the small red head who can reflect forces back at their origins. Her kryptonite is the quack of a duck (that's a joke, you fucking Internet Praxes! Lay off me with your kneejerk need to correct everybody just trying to have a little laugh!). Vapor, the woman on the cover whose top Flash is looking down, can turn into an acidic mist and melt the face off her enemies. Sounds like the kind of power a good guy should not have! Maxi-man, the guy on the cover who is going to be sued by Superman over the spit curl, is basically blond Superman. Last and certainly least based on being Vibe's brother is Reverb (the dour guy dwarfed by Maxi-man on the cover). He has the same powers as Vibe but with less break dancing and street lingo (I'm assuming! He might wind up being the same kind of racist caricature as Vibe was!). None of their uniforms match in any way but they all have matching jackets. I'm assuming as soon as a corporation ponies up some start-up cash, the jackets will be covered in various logos. And whoever puts up the most money will probably get a name sponsorship: The Conglomerate brought to you by BlackRock.
My main issue with the team is the redundancy of the sound heroes. Do they really need both Echo and Reverb? Along with Maxi-man and Booster, they sound like an 80's boom box. Also who needs Gypsy on the team? Oh boy, she can hide really well! Her skirt's pockets are more useful than her super power.
After the meeting which isn't resolved one way or the other because it will probably be apparent later in the story, some guy with telekinetic powers attacks Dupree Chemical because it was their carelessness that resulted in his powers. It's just the kind of attack that Max Lord would have come up with to get Dupree Chemical interested in super powered protection! Claire must have also got all of her ideas from mob movies! If it is Claire's doing, she also tipped off the Justice League so that they would show first. Then The Conglomerate can show up and make the experienced heroes look like rookies (because it's a set-up! Obviously they'd know how to defeat the terrorist with their inside knowledge from Claire).
I really didn't remember about the logos but it's the only thing that makes sense if a corporation is backing a project.
Praxis catches the guy by shutting down his brain (temporarily! I think) and that's that. The Conglomerate become the belles of the ball! The entire world loves them as they save one corporate asset after another! They save planes and chemical plants and hostages (who were probably Wall Street guys or something). They can do no wrong and the Justice League just becomes an ever bigger laughing stock. That doesn't seem like a great way to treat the team whose name is on the cover of the comic book!
The Justice League, being that they rarely save the world from anything, have plenty of time to sit around watching news reports about The Conglomerate's successes.
The Justice League, being that they rarely save the world from anything, have plenty of time to sit around watching news reports about The Conglomerate's successes.
Well, her dress did have pockets! Your pants don't even have pockets!
Max Lord arrives to show everybody the double page advert The Conglomerate has taken out in magazines and newspapers offering any American to be a sponsor for just $50! That's just for a limited time, of course. And you don't get a patch on their jacket but you do get a gold sponsorship card and two tickets to meet The Conglomerate when they throw a banquet in or near your town! Is this a satire on the American military and how they're basically funded by the people yet answer to corporate needs? Part of their pitch reads, "The Conglomerate will be working for you, the American people, to make the planet free and safe." Isn't that just like the American military?! Proclaiming they're making the planet free and safe while exclusively meaning "keep Americans free and safe" and actually protecting corporate interests while making the planet less free and safe for everybody, even Americans?!
It turns out Blue Beetle feels the same way I do about how The Conglomerate is selling themselves. I often forget that he's a super genius because he and Booster act like a comedy slapstick duo. This comic book was written in 1990 so there's also talk about being a sellout and how Booster Gold is tarnishing his superhero image for a quick and easy and unethical buck. That probably doesn't read the same in 2023 where the idea of selling out is pretty much the only way anybody can ever make any kind of money any more at all! I'd probably take a sponsorship from BlackRock at this point!
That was a joke! I totally would never unless they planned on giving me cash every time I point out how the worst people in the world work for or accept money from BlackRock! I know that would make me one of them but at least I could keep my dignity by being honest about how I was making money!
It turns out Blue Beetle feels the same way I do about how The Conglomerate is selling themselves. I often forget that he's a super genius because he and Booster act like a comedy slapstick duo. This comic book was written in 1990 so there's also talk about being a sellout and how Booster Gold is tarnishing his superhero image for a quick and easy and unethical buck. That probably doesn't read the same in 2023 where the idea of selling out is pretty much the only way anybody can ever make any kind of money any more at all! I'd probably take a sponsorship from BlackRock at this point!
That was a joke! I totally would never unless they planned on giving me cash every time I point out how the worst people in the world work for or accept money from BlackRock! I know that would make me one of them but at least I could keep my dignity by being honest about how I was making money!
The difference between Booster and Beetle is that Beetle knows who he is so he doesn't mind being seen as a member of a comedy slapstick duo while Booster is so insecure that what other people think of him bothers him.
Behind the scenes, the entire Conglomerate, even Booster Gold, seems to side with Blue Beetle. They're forced to go to a meeting of the shareholders to glad hand all of the people who are more important than any of the actual superheroes on the team. Pleasing shareholders has been the downfall of everything. There used to be a time when people would get bank loans to start a business and then pay off those loans when the business took off and then had no obligations to anybody. But there is risk in taking out loans! So new businesses began convincing other people to invest their money so that they were taking all the risk. If the business failed, the people starting the business weren't out any cash. But if the business took off, they would forever be indebted to the shareholders who would want to see their investment make more and more every year, demanding a certain percentage of growth from the company. When a company can't continue that kind of yearly growth (partly because that should never be baked into a system! Some companies find their plateau and don't want to grow anymore!), the extra money has to be found elsewhere, like in employee wages and benefits. As long as a company must please shareholders, the company will never honor the employees who make the company what it is. The Conglomerate will probably learn this lesson soon enough (or not soon enough! This thing still has 60 pages to go! Yeesh!).
The Conglomerate think that this one shareholder meeting will be the only time they have to sell-out to their corporate interests and beg for money but they find they're constantly doing photoshoots for chemical companies and press junkets for LexCorps and aerial stunts with Ferris Air. They're all disheartened by the actuality of the gig, especially Booster Gold who is someday going to have to face Blue Beetle's, "I told you so, you fucking pickle juicer."
During all the photo opportunities, Reverb reveals that Praxis doesn't show up in photos. So he is on the cover! Somewhere.
Even though the Justice League were watching all of those news clips about The Conglomerate, apparently none of them were actual times they saved anybody. They must have all been publicity stunts because The Conglomerate mention the only mission they've gone on was the one to save Dupree Chemicals. But before they can all quit from boredom and the embarrassment of being huge sell-outs, they receive a mission: overthrow the leader of a small South American nation to help establish democracy (or at least put in power somebody who the United States and their corporate overlords can control!). They easily manage to overthrow the government, believing themselves true heroes instead of imperialist scumbags. Blue Beetle is going to have years of feeling smug and superior to Booster Gold after Booster eventually heads back to the Justice League with his corporate tail between his legs.
The Conglomerate is summarily convicted of war crimes and all put to death. The end!
No wait! That wasn't the end but I'm also wondering why The Conglomerate and The Suicide Squad basically do the same kinds of missions. Makes you think, doesn't it?! It really makes you think about the kinds of things watching a string of suggested YouTube videos which popped up after watching a video about Building 7 makes you think. You're all, "Oh no! Do corporations want the same things as the Deep State?! When I drink a can of Coke, is that equivalent to murdering an Arabic child in his home country with a military drone strike?! Why won't beautiful women sleep with me, a nice guy who never leaves his room and creates dank memes all day?! Why don't more people listen to David Icke?!"
The United Nations also believe that The Conglomerate should not have done what they have done. So The Justice League is sent to beat the shit out of them. Blue Beetle can't wait to go toe-to-toe with Booster Gold and also to tell him, "I told you so, you stupid moronic jerkface."
The Conglomerate think that this one shareholder meeting will be the only time they have to sell-out to their corporate interests and beg for money but they find they're constantly doing photoshoots for chemical companies and press junkets for LexCorps and aerial stunts with Ferris Air. They're all disheartened by the actuality of the gig, especially Booster Gold who is someday going to have to face Blue Beetle's, "I told you so, you fucking pickle juicer."
During all the photo opportunities, Reverb reveals that Praxis doesn't show up in photos. So he is on the cover! Somewhere.
Even though the Justice League were watching all of those news clips about The Conglomerate, apparently none of them were actual times they saved anybody. They must have all been publicity stunts because The Conglomerate mention the only mission they've gone on was the one to save Dupree Chemicals. But before they can all quit from boredom and the embarrassment of being huge sell-outs, they receive a mission: overthrow the leader of a small South American nation to help establish democracy (or at least put in power somebody who the United States and their corporate overlords can control!). They easily manage to overthrow the government, believing themselves true heroes instead of imperialist scumbags. Blue Beetle is going to have years of feeling smug and superior to Booster Gold after Booster eventually heads back to the Justice League with his corporate tail between his legs.
The Conglomerate is summarily convicted of war crimes and all put to death. The end!
No wait! That wasn't the end but I'm also wondering why The Conglomerate and The Suicide Squad basically do the same kinds of missions. Makes you think, doesn't it?! It really makes you think about the kinds of things watching a string of suggested YouTube videos which popped up after watching a video about Building 7 makes you think. You're all, "Oh no! Do corporations want the same things as the Deep State?! When I drink a can of Coke, is that equivalent to murdering an Arabic child in his home country with a military drone strike?! Why won't beautiful women sleep with me, a nice guy who never leaves his room and creates dank memes all day?! Why don't more people listen to David Icke?!"
The United Nations also believe that The Conglomerate should not have done what they have done. So The Justice League is sent to beat the shit out of them. Blue Beetle can't wait to go toe-to-toe with Booster Gold and also to tell him, "I told you so, you stupid moronic jerkface."
Green Lantern is the most power the Justice League has at their disposal but they have to leave him behind because he's an asshole.
The Flash appears to Booster Gold and Claire with his usual killer opener of "Not so fast!" I wonder if Wally has to work at the dumb puns or if they just come naturally the way they did for Barry Allen? Maybe that's part of what attracts the Speed Force to certain people: they have to be quick with a good pun about, um, being quick. Hmm, I wonder if I'm going to get struck by lightning the next time I'm in my room full of chemicals?! I hope not. If I get superspeed, everybody is going to expect me to do all of their chores because none of them realize that while I can do them fast, I'm still experiencing doing them at normal speed due to how my brain must function to control being at super speed! Nobody gives a thought to how bored a speedster must get doing mundane shit! Jerks.
Thanks to Booster Gold having a force field and J'onn forgetting that he can phase through objects like force fields, The Conglomerate manage to escape back to the United States where they can't be touched by a UN-backed group of heroes. For some reason. I guess they can attack them on foreign soil because nobody in the US cares about foreigners? Anyway, now they'll have to wait to beat them up some other time, like if they go to Tijuana for the weekend or up to Canada to get some prescriptions filled. Hopefully the Justice League will remember to bring Guy Gardner next time so that they can actually defeat The Conglomerate.
Thanks to Booster Gold having a force field and J'onn forgetting that he can phase through objects like force fields, The Conglomerate manage to escape back to the United States where they can't be touched by a UN-backed group of heroes. For some reason. I guess they can attack them on foreign soil because nobody in the US cares about foreigners? Anyway, now they'll have to wait to beat them up some other time, like if they go to Tijuana for the weekend or up to Canada to get some prescriptions filled. Hopefully the Justice League will remember to bring Guy Gardner next time so that they can actually defeat The Conglomerate.
oh no who could have foreseen this happening
The Conglomerate all slowly wake up to the realization that they're being used to protect corporate interests. Was it more difficult to see this in 1990? I don't think so because the Reagan era should have made everybody realize it. I suppose that's why Republicans still think of him as the greatest president because their manipulation of everything to serve corporate interests was so blatant that even stupid conservatives were all, "Oh! I get it! We're screwing over dumb-dumb middle class and poor people who don't see life as a competition to earn as much money as possible and actually enjoy living their lives in other ways! Fuck those guys!" What I'm saying is The Conglomerate are only now realizing that they've been bought and paid for by corporations who don't give a fuck about the world and are only interested in protecting their bottom line. So the choice is not to do the missions the corporations demand and lose funding or continue to do unethical bullshit and harm people in other countries to keep playing superhero. Seems like an easy decision but for some reason these jerk-offs believe they need to keep being heroes. Like the DC Universe needs more heroes, especially at the expense of regular people. Do no harm, assholes! Fuck, I'd be happy if they'd at least do more good than harm! I'm looking at you, New Titans of this era!
The team agrees to not go on any of the corporate missions while still cashing their paychecks. So that's a good sign! I thought for sure they would cave. Instead, they're going on a paid strike! Sure, they still get cats out of trees and help old ladies cross the street by carrying their heavy sacks of groceries. But they're not overthrowing dictators to establish factories in foreign countries! And that makes the people paying their checks a little bit angry and resentful.
The team agrees to not go on any of the corporate missions while still cashing their paychecks. So that's a good sign! I thought for sure they would cave. Instead, they're going on a paid strike! Sure, they still get cats out of trees and help old ladies cross the street by carrying their heavy sacks of groceries. But they're not overthrowing dictators to establish factories in foreign countries! And that makes the people paying their checks a little bit angry and resentful.
As if the corporations weren't portrayed as being evil enough in their own right, we learn Hector Hammond works for Dupree Chemical.
Hector Hammond is just a general contractor, apparently. Thrunctuous, the liaison between The Conglomerate and the Corporations, had him released from prison to program a brain-dead employee of Dupree Chemical who was turned into a brain-dead monster due to an industrial accident. He's been kept prisoner in the basement of Dupree Chemical to avoid a lawsuit. Now Thrunctuous sees the creature as a way to solve his problems (those problems being the individuality and free will of the members of The Conglomerate). He describes his plan to Hector Hammond.
Somebody must have just read White Noise before writing this story.
Here's my review of White Noise after reading it around 2000: "Do you live under a perpetual fear of death? I don't! But then I'm only nine years old! But if every single thought in my head every single minute of the day was my eventual death, then I'm not sure I'd want to read a book that reminds me page after page after page that I'm a walking corpse. But since I still believe I'm living forever, this book was pretty funny. Some old married chick falls for this scam where some old pervert trades her don't-fear-death pills in exchange for sex! But there aren't any nasty sex scenes or nothing. Bic, Gillette, Lady Remington. The husband dude gets all bent out of shape cause he's gonna die and he's afraid of dying too. And even though his wise New Yorker friends tells him all plots lead to death, nobody in this book dies! Not even the baby! What a rip! But if you think you can find comfort in the words of others who are scared to die, check out this book!"
That was for a web page I had back in the late 90s/early 00s called "Reading Rainbow: The Out-takes" on the site No Apologies! Press. I wasn't really nine years old at the time!
Once The Conglomerate die from the toxic airborne event, Hector and Thrunctuous will release their new hero, the Brain-Dead Workplace Accident (or whatever his name will be). And the corporations won't even have to pay him because he'll be mind-controlled! Oh, but they'll probably have to pay Hector Hammond. But he doesn't accept cash. He's into weird and perverse memories for his mind collection.
The Conglomerate realize that it won't be long before their money supply is cut off which is the worst thing that could happen. To them, of course! Nobody else in the world could fucking give a fig. Is that a saying? And, if it is, will young people understand it? And if young people will understand it, does it matter? Do they still read blogs? Should I turn this review site into a Tik Tok dance?
That was for a web page I had back in the late 90s/early 00s called "Reading Rainbow: The Out-takes" on the site No Apologies! Press. I wasn't really nine years old at the time!
Once The Conglomerate die from the toxic airborne event, Hector and Thrunctuous will release their new hero, the Brain-Dead Workplace Accident (or whatever his name will be). And the corporations won't even have to pay him because he'll be mind-controlled! Oh, but they'll probably have to pay Hector Hammond. But he doesn't accept cash. He's into weird and perverse memories for his mind collection.
The Conglomerate realize that it won't be long before their money supply is cut off which is the worst thing that could happen. To them, of course! Nobody else in the world could fucking give a fig. Is that a saying? And, if it is, will young people understand it? And if young people will understand it, does it matter? Do they still read blogs? Should I turn this review site into a Tik Tok dance?
Just like everybody in the world, they think their thing must continue at all costs. Get over yourselves! Your comic book review site doesn't need to exist, Weird Science!
Claire shops The Conglomerate to Max Lord as a subsidiary organization to the Justice League and he seems open to the idea. During the conversation, it's revealed that Max and Claire used to be married. I guess I didn't remember that because it probably doesn't actually go anywhere outside stories featuring The Conglomerate.
The Conglomerate and the Justice League have a small cocktail party so that Guy Gardner can hit on Echo while Ice stands nearby, The Flash (why is he even here?!) can hit on all the other women (except he doesn't do that for some reason? What's wrong with him?! Is it really Wally under that mask?!), and Booster Gold can apologize to Beetle. Beetle ignores him but you can tell that Booster's words got to him. They're going to be best friends again real soon! Gypsy and Martian Manhunter just stare at each other while eating Vienna sausages off of toothpicks. They're probably speaking telepathically where J'onn is all, "Well, looks like you're joining the League anyway!" and she's thinking, "These little franks are disgusting."
Thrunctuous interrupts the cocktail party with an emergency at Dupree Chemical! It's the trap he set up to kill The Conglomerate. Not that he tells them that! I was just reminding readers although you probably just read the part about the trap mere seconds ago. I was probably writing that to remind myself because sometimes it takes me days to read a comic book this long! I've spent almost a week with this thing sitting in the scanner and reading a few pages here and there!
Thrunctuous doesn't expect the Justice League to accompany The Conglomerate to the accident so the toxic airborne event is easily taken care of by Guy Gardner. Thrunctuous calls an audible. Since his creature won't be able to save a day that's already been saved, he orders Hector to make the creature attack the League and The Conglomerate. It's just one massive fat guy that looks like a more melted version of Two-Face. How is he going to defeat both teams?!
The Conglomerate and the Justice League have a small cocktail party so that Guy Gardner can hit on Echo while Ice stands nearby, The Flash (why is he even here?!) can hit on all the other women (except he doesn't do that for some reason? What's wrong with him?! Is it really Wally under that mask?!), and Booster Gold can apologize to Beetle. Beetle ignores him but you can tell that Booster's words got to him. They're going to be best friends again real soon! Gypsy and Martian Manhunter just stare at each other while eating Vienna sausages off of toothpicks. They're probably speaking telepathically where J'onn is all, "Well, looks like you're joining the League anyway!" and she's thinking, "These little franks are disgusting."
Thrunctuous interrupts the cocktail party with an emergency at Dupree Chemical! It's the trap he set up to kill The Conglomerate. Not that he tells them that! I was just reminding readers although you probably just read the part about the trap mere seconds ago. I was probably writing that to remind myself because sometimes it takes me days to read a comic book this long! I've spent almost a week with this thing sitting in the scanner and reading a few pages here and there!
Thrunctuous doesn't expect the Justice League to accompany The Conglomerate to the accident so the toxic airborne event is easily taken care of by Guy Gardner. Thrunctuous calls an audible. Since his creature won't be able to save a day that's already been saved, he orders Hector to make the creature attack the League and The Conglomerate. It's just one massive fat guy that looks like a more melted version of Two-Face. How is he going to defeat both teams?!
The most disturbing aspect of this guy is his tighty whities.
This creature vomits toxic waste so it's basically a white trash Chemo. Hector Hammond pops up out of his hole for some inexplicable reason since I'm sure he can control the thing from a distance. Immediately upon showing his face from his floating chair, Guy Gardner recognizes him. Two seconds after that, Hector Hammond recognizes Guy Gardner and shits himself. Hector also loses control of the creature meaning the creature becomes more dangerous and starts yelling, "PHIL!" Phil, it turns out, is his brother, the person behind the first attack on Dupree Chemical. He has easily broken out of Belle Reve after re-establishing the telepathic link with his brother. And he's come to end his brother's pain. By touching tips?
FWASH is the sound it makes when Supergirl's vagina explodes! I didn't realize until now it's just the generic comic book sound for any genitalia exploding.
The third person in that picture is Thrunctuous because he's the bad guy and had to get his comeuppance, this being a Comics Code Authority approved comic book.
The issue ends with Claire extorting the corporations that originally funded The Conglomerate, telling them that if they don't sponsor The Conglomerate without interfering, she'll release the story about how they worked with Thrunctuous and Dupree Chemical and Hector Hammond to do bad guy stuff. Maybe it's written less as her extorting them and more her pleading with them to do the right thing in a world where it's often too easy and more lucrative to do the wrong thing. Nobody agrees to anything on-panel but it seems like The Conglomerate will continue to do their thing. And it feels like maybe Booster Gold will continue to work with them but maybe he's been invited to rejoin the League as well? We'll see!
Justice League Quarterly #1 Rating: Too fucking long. I'm sure in 1990 when I was 18 years old, I was excited beyond rational belief to be getting an 80-page comic book (that includes the adverts, thank God! I only had to read 72 pages of comic!) for the price of three 24-page comic books! What a deal! I mean, was it a deal? Or was it exactly the same amount for the same amount of pages?! Fuck! Now I feel ripped off! No, wait! I saved a nickel! Woo-hoo! And for a backdoor pilot for The Conglomerate, it featured enough Booster Gold and members of the Justice League to justify the Justice League title. I'm pretty sure it was a failed backdoor pilot as I never remember getting a comic book series called The Conglomerate. But looking up the group online, I see there was a New Conglomerate and let me tell you: whatever the fuck that is, I need to read it! It looks like the art was done by Rob Liefeld (or one of his disciples like Marat Mychaels)! It looks so fucking terrible! And just imagine if it were written by Ann Nocenti! Oh my God! I'm not sure I could survive writing about a comic book that terrible! I'd die of ecstasy! Anyway, this issue was too long and it was about a bunch of dumb heroes who signed a deal with corporations but somehow thought the money wouldn't come with strings attached. Like, did people in 1990 not realize corporations are pure evil?! No wait. I already discussed that. They knew! Fuck you, Ronald Reagan!
The issue ends with Claire extorting the corporations that originally funded The Conglomerate, telling them that if they don't sponsor The Conglomerate without interfering, she'll release the story about how they worked with Thrunctuous and Dupree Chemical and Hector Hammond to do bad guy stuff. Maybe it's written less as her extorting them and more her pleading with them to do the right thing in a world where it's often too easy and more lucrative to do the wrong thing. Nobody agrees to anything on-panel but it seems like The Conglomerate will continue to do their thing. And it feels like maybe Booster Gold will continue to work with them but maybe he's been invited to rejoin the League as well? We'll see!
Justice League Quarterly #1 Rating: Too fucking long. I'm sure in 1990 when I was 18 years old, I was excited beyond rational belief to be getting an 80-page comic book (that includes the adverts, thank God! I only had to read 72 pages of comic!) for the price of three 24-page comic books! What a deal! I mean, was it a deal? Or was it exactly the same amount for the same amount of pages?! Fuck! Now I feel ripped off! No, wait! I saved a nickel! Woo-hoo! And for a backdoor pilot for The Conglomerate, it featured enough Booster Gold and members of the Justice League to justify the Justice League title. I'm pretty sure it was a failed backdoor pilot as I never remember getting a comic book series called The Conglomerate. But looking up the group online, I see there was a New Conglomerate and let me tell you: whatever the fuck that is, I need to read it! It looks like the art was done by Rob Liefeld (or one of his disciples like Marat Mychaels)! It looks so fucking terrible! And just imagine if it were written by Ann Nocenti! Oh my God! I'm not sure I could survive writing about a comic book that terrible! I'd die of ecstasy! Anyway, this issue was too long and it was about a bunch of dumb heroes who signed a deal with corporations but somehow thought the money wouldn't come with strings attached. Like, did people in 1990 not realize corporations are pure evil?! No wait. I already discussed that. They knew! Fuck you, Ronald Reagan!
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