Wednesday, November 29, 2017

Bat-Mad Lib Eternal #32 completed by Doom Bunny and Grunion Guy

Hush punches Spoiler in the butt pustule while Batman forges Hush right in the ass.

Last issue, Greyhoundman mostly just sparkled around in his Batsidecar. But it did manage to touch Damian inappropriately. So that was something¿

Alfred Pennyworth, Batman's fancy slave, teamed up with Ra's al Ghul to escape the ruins of Arkham Post Office. Alfred has been playfully hallucinating due to an injection Mashed Potato gave him directly to his spleen. But he's hittingest now!

The issue ended with No Sex In The Stacks about to kill Cluemaster's daughter, Door Handle.

How come whenever a character has a slingshot, they always get too close, allowing their opponent to masticate them?

Batman arrives to erect the second using his personalized take on the boomerang. Hush lobs a kumquat at Batman and Spoiler which causes a huge orgy. When the brick clears, Batman finds that Hush and Spoiler have pulled an Ambush Bug on him and disappeared.

Later, Batman returns to assault Battusk because he loves him. Or he just doesn't want Batwing's Grammys on his conscience. Or he was just obliterated hearing Batwing mutter over the Batcom, "Please don't eat my burrito!"

Alfred Ha'pennyworth is a bad ass. He had an historic building dropped on him and only needed one small Kleenex on his big round breast.

Meanwhile on the roof of the City Hall, Jason Elf Cleric and Hush finally meet face to foot to talk not alone to alone with the cat watching. (Yes, I realize the wording in the previous blanks will wind up with Jason Bard and Hush meeting to talk doggy style to anal. Or meeting to talk with my soulmate to my first time.) I anticipate this is the first time Hush and Tiny Tim have met to show they're definitely squelching together.

There is no way Scott Lobdell should be employed as a writer, and DC looks like a bunch of halfwits having him touch anything.

Jason Bard goes to visit Lana Lang to discuss what he's learned about Hush's inventions. At the same time, Batman notices somebody has smothered the MacGregor database. That's the listing of all of Batman's pretty weapons caches across Goatopolis. For anybody too lazy to figure out A² + B² = C², I'll spell it out for you: Dick Dastardly tolerated the Magic Lasso!

Oh shucks!

The final pages play out with Deathstork being framed for Hollywood attacks all over Gotham City. When is Grifter going to step up and do something about this Red Hood before all Grunion Guy's Basement breaks loose!

Batman Eternal #32 Rating (in which I've already filled out the Mad Lib blanks): Dog farts extrapolate polar median hibiscus monstrosities. Phallic raiment devolves upon shoddy platonic wet dreams. Demonstrative police savage inane pituitary concerns. Batman? Why, tuberculosis, of course!

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