Seriously. How is this not over yet?!
The Review!
The main take away of this comic book is Vicente Cifuentes loves drawing huge breasts.
The main take away of this comic book is Vicente Cifuentes loves drawing huge breasts.
"Go! And strike that pose where you push your breasts out!"
Also in this issue: Ultra-Humanite kills Batdick and Green Lantern kills Ultra-Humanite. Oh! So who's the fascist now, Green Lantern?! So intolerant of hate and intolerance and murder. Who's the real Nazi, amirite? How fucking hypocritical to kill somebody who kills people! Fucking monster. And I would totally say the same things if he were straight! Although I wouldn't say any of what I just said if I wasn't pretending to be an idiot.
The Ranking!
I think I've punished this title enough. I'm only still reading it because it's the last book of The New 52 and I'm an idiot for deciding to read all of The New 52 comic books. But just for some criticism nostalgia, here's one of the reasons I hate this book. On the New Earth 2 (dubbed Earth Too by me in a way that confuses people with no sense of whimsy and too much sense of grammar and/or spelling mistakes), everybody was, once again, up in arms about the Wonders. "We hate them! Especially the robot!" they would chant in their marches against people who wear disgustingly tight spandex outfits. But now Earth Too has become Earth Too: The Rebirthening and guess what? The people of this Earth don't know what wonders are and are afraid of them. So, the usual, really. Which means that Fury has to have a scene speaking directly to about fifteen citizens telling them all about the Wonders and how wonderful they are and how they're going to save them all and be their protectors. You know, a speech that doesn't make an intelligent person's butthole crawl right up into their esophagus. Instead of just getting on with saving the world from the Ultra-Humantie, Fury now has to take time out of her busy day of punching Sandmen in the face to calm down the populace because of the history of populations all over several different Earths and Convergence-based locales hating superheroes. And it's not like she's even giving the speech to an international reporter with a camera crew so it doesn't just seem like an especially egregious waste of time. She's just telling a handful of people what's going on and making it sound super sketchy and a little bit too invasiony for the likes of most people. Half of the people probably don't even hear her message because it was muffled by her gigantic tits.
Now that I've said all of that, I've changed my mind. -1!
The Ranking!
I think I've punished this title enough. I'm only still reading it because it's the last book of The New 52 and I'm an idiot for deciding to read all of The New 52 comic books. But just for some criticism nostalgia, here's one of the reasons I hate this book. On the New Earth 2 (dubbed Earth Too by me in a way that confuses people with no sense of whimsy and too much sense of grammar and/or spelling mistakes), everybody was, once again, up in arms about the Wonders. "We hate them! Especially the robot!" they would chant in their marches against people who wear disgustingly tight spandex outfits. But now Earth Too has become Earth Too: The Rebirthening and guess what? The people of this Earth don't know what wonders are and are afraid of them. So, the usual, really. Which means that Fury has to have a scene speaking directly to about fifteen citizens telling them all about the Wonders and how wonderful they are and how they're going to save them all and be their protectors. You know, a speech that doesn't make an intelligent person's butthole crawl right up into their esophagus. Instead of just getting on with saving the world from the Ultra-Humantie, Fury now has to take time out of her busy day of punching Sandmen in the face to calm down the populace because of the history of populations all over several different Earths and Convergence-based locales hating superheroes. And it's not like she's even giving the speech to an international reporter with a camera crew so it doesn't just seem like an especially egregious waste of time. She's just telling a handful of people what's going on and making it sound super sketchy and a little bit too invasiony for the likes of most people. Half of the people probably don't even hear her message because it was muffled by her gigantic tits.
Now that I've said all of that, I've changed my mind. -1!
No comments:
Post a Comment