Thursday, February 9, 2017

Hal Jordan and the Green Lantern Corps #10

"I can't wait to fuck you, my dear."

The Review!
Currently, Brainiac 2.0 is cataloging his new additions to his collection.


While Brainiac 2.0 shakes his bottle full of fireflies, Ganthet discusses the resurrection plans for Hal Jordan with Kyle Rayner and my Aunt posts racist memes to Facebook.

My response: "This is vile and disgusting. Do you really want these kinds of ignorant, racist memes to be a representation of who you are?"

Hal Jordan isn't completely dead. He's just mostly dead. The alive part of him is the ring he forged out of pure will. The dead part of him is hanging out with Abin Sur in the Emerald Space. The Emerald Space is the heavenly reward for Green Lanterns who died in battle, if you consider forever wandering a dark space with green fog a "reward."

In the Emerald Space, Hal meets up with a bunch of Lanterns who died a long time ago. I think I recognize Ch'p who was run over by a space truck. And Tomar-Re who was easily replaced by Tomar-Tu and nobody really noticed (so much so that it might be the other way around). And, I think, Jack T. Chance although I don't know how he died. Lobo probably decided he was too derivative of him.

Oh, Katma Tui is also there although I barely remember her. The most I can remember is her last name is Tui and only after Hal called her Katma. I bet she's seen Hal's penis.

Abin Sur tells Hal that he must bring hope back to the universe. I guess he needs to find that sperm-headed guy, Saint Walker. After Hal gets his quest, he's pulled out of the afterlife by Kyle. They hug it out which totally means, in those get-ups, that they felt their penises touch.

Meanwhile, the Grand Collector turns out to be Larfleeze. Who would have guessed?! Probably a huge Green Lantern fan, really. I mean, I didn't guess. I even saw Larfleeze on the cover of the next issue and I didn't make the connection!

The Ranking!
No change! It looks like it's time to reform the Green Lantern Mythological Universe! The Green Lantern Corps are back, the Sinestro Corps have settled down, the Guardians have returned, Kyle Rayner is back from helping? Not helping? the Omega Men, smeghead Saint Walker is on his way back, and Larfleeze has returned from the silly world of Giffen and DeMatteis. Everything's coming up Lanterns!

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