We Are Robin #7

This was bound to happen, war or no war.

Does Jason Todd always have to fight with a gun in his hand? He's battling Tim Drake, for Christ's sake! It's not like he's really going to shoot him! I know this is a cover so I shouldn't be taking it so literally. Notice how I'm not complaining about all of the giant Court of Owls masks crashing down around them? That's actually a bigger problem than Jason Todd's fingers glued to the trigger.

Gordon and Grayson's Batman and Robin adventure begins this issue and it begins with Dick almost falling off of a building and Gordon saving him. Obviously Dick was just testing Gordon to see what he's capable of because the last thing Grayson needs to worry about is falling to his death. As a comic book fan, I have to believe that or else I'd be screaming "How can Lee Bermejo write Dick Grayson so poorly?! Jim Gordon has been climbing buildings for six months while Dick has been doing it his whole life and Lee thinks Gordon would be the one to save Dick from falling?! Bullshit! What a travesty! It's the worst thing to be written into canon since everything else I disagreed with which was most of it!" But I don't want to be one of those comic book fans with my beard full of spittle and rage! I'm a thoughtful comic book fan who remembers that Dick Grayson was shown manipulating everybody since this Robin War began so he's obviously doing it again here. If Gordon believes he's the most capable member of this duo, he'll be more apt to open up to Dick and consider Dick's position on the Robin War.

See? Let Gordon bring himself around to Dick's side.

Modern comic books--like The Graysons!--are constantly walking a tightrope of believability. Back when Robin was first introduced to fight alongside Batman, nobody was concerned about the real-life ramifications of a grown man putting a young boy in danger. As comics grew up, writers and editors began thinking what readers really wanted was real world consequences for actions that had always simply been accepted as okay in the fantastic world of comic books. I'd rather not worry about things like property damage and xenophobic fears and child endangerment laws (aside from making snide comments about them!). I don't mind if the characters need to deal with real life matters, to a limited extent of course! I think this moment between Jim and Dick is a nice modern middle ground. The child endangerment aspect is briefly mentioned while also presenting some real world experiences in argument for teenagers fighting crime. In fact, the entire We Are Robin premise actually makes the idea of Robin more palatable and understandable. A grown man enlisting a young boy to swing around the city while fighting dangerous criminals is patently absurd. But a youth movement where a bunch of teenagers simply want to protect their city and make it better? Way more acceptable. And this Robin War is the period of time where Jim Gordon must come to terms with such a crazy thing happening in his city, hopefully coming to a point where we can all agree to stop worrying about the real-life implications of this kind of movement and settle down comfortably into the fictional world of comic books.

I meant it's easier to accept hundreds over one to the modern reader! Obviously the characters living the story would rather only have to deal with one stupid Robin.

While snooping around Councilwoman Noctua's apartment, Dick Grayson finally realizes the Court of Owls is probably behind the Robin War. He rushes off to fall into their trap while Commissioner Batman heads back to check on his captured Robins.

Back at the police jail cell, the Owls have decided to pit Red Robin against Red Hood in a battle to the death to determine which one will be the next Gray Son of Gotham. Even if one of them does kill the other, all it will determine is which one will be the next one to refuse to be their dumb Talon. Although they probably really don't care if Tim and Jason kill each other. The Owls said they were fishing before starting the battle and they're probably trying to catch Moby Dick.

Todd and Drake get some of their frustrations out on each other long enough for Damian Wayne to understand their plan.

Editorial must have put the kibosh on Damian saying, "They're pulling a Dick!"

As Tim Drake flies higher and higher amid the hanging cages, Jason Todd yells, "Alexandre Dumas, eat your heart out!" I don't know why he yells it. Maybe there's a scene in The Three Musketeers that's just like this? I wouldn't know because I've never read the book. But I did once play and review the computer game!

Tim Drake makes it to the top of the Birdcage where there's one of those huge levers that shuts down the bad thing in one pull. Convenient! It's probably some kind of Evil Villain Union Rule that every dastardly device must have an easy means to defeat it built in. Once Tim pulls the lever, the cages all open and the Robins are free! Although this might be where the saying "Out of the frying pan and into the claws of an immortal murderous monster" came from.

Stop squawking! Those were the easy guys! There's a Talon around there somewhere, you idiots!

Apparently the Talons are perched on the roof waiting to feast on the escaping Robins streaming from the exit. But their deaths will have to wait until Robin: Son of Batman #7. That's how DC decided to punctuate the title of that book in the closing blurb of this issue! With a colon! I think it's more of a Robin, Son of Batman comma kind of title! But what do I know? Seriously. When it comes to grammar and punctuation, what do I fucking know?! Precious little, really.

We Are Robin #7 Rating: +1 Ranking. When I first heard about this book, I was excited that it was going to be a book about all of the Robins adventuring together. Obviously I was wrong about that. I still think a book where the Robins go on adventures together would be a lot of fun and this issue shows why. I've never been a huge fan of Tim Drake and Jason Todd but stories like this are at least pushing me in that direction. Of course I need a lot more of these stories to counteract all of the damage Scott Lobdell did to my idea of Jason Todd and Tim Drake over the last four years. Damian makes for the perfect little brother without edging into Scrappy Doo, Danny Chase, or Cousin Oliver territory. He might put them down as lackluster Robins any chance he gets but when the shit goes down, he's their biggest fucking cheerleader. And, of course, Damian completely looks up to and respects Dick Grayson, as do they all in varying amounts. When Batman speaks of a Batfamily, it always rings hollow because he's such a dour downer buzzkill. But when the Robins get together, it totally makes sense. More of this kind of shit please.