Convergence: Harley Quinn #1

My pants are tremendously excited for this comic book!

Big surprise revelation coming: this issue, which has criminals known for making Gotham their home on the cover, takes place in Pre-Flashpoint Gotham City! I can't wait until I read a comic book with a different match-up than this. The home field advantage goes to the biggest world listed on the fight card (in this case, Pre-Flashpoint Gotham) which means the reader should probably be rooting for that world to win. I guess you can root for Captain Carrot or The Extremists but you're going to be disappointed when your team loses. I bet the other cities with home field advantage who we're supposed to be rooting for are all from the Pre-Flashpoint Universe. We'll probably have Pre-Flashpoint Central City and Pre-Flashpoint Metropolis and Pre-Flashpoint Star City and Pre-Flashpoint Coast City and Pre-Flashpoint Keystone City which might be the same thing as Pre-Flashpoint Central City. I might not be as good a detective as The Jeezly Crow Batman but I have a feeling the Pre-Flashpoint Universe is going to get a second chance alongside The New 52 universe. It's possible by the end of this, seven timelines will actually get a chance to exist and they'll replace the seven question mark universes in the Multiverse Guidebook. Although if that happens, I don't know where the Monitors are going to keep their porn.

So I guess this guy in Pre-Flashpoint Britain sent the skull to his exhibition and then the world ended but Pre-Flashpoint Gotham was whisked away to Telos where, with everything in chaos, the museum still decided to hold the art show. For morale, probably!

It's also possible this is the moment of transference. It makes sense since there's an awful lot of that funny colored portal smoke wafting about the battle. There's also a cop or two that, just like always, forgets that guns are long range weapons. They shoot one of Harley's henchmen from a distance but when it comes to drawing down on Harley, the police officer does it close enough so that she kicks him in the stomach and he drops his gun. Then the next cop gets close enough to be beat down by her mallet. And then everybody begins staring at the sky and the newly formed dome that just appeared overhead.

So Harley had super strength?

The dome negates super powers so Harley Quinn must have some super power that I never knew about. I don't think she had super strength so I guess she had some kind of Cartoon Physics Field surrounding her. That's why she can kill people in crazy, whimsical ways that seem cute rather than violent.

This issue is called "Down the Rabbit Hole" because Gotham has a weird obsession with Alice in Wonderland. I wonder how many stories that have taken place in Gotham have been called "Down the Rabbit Hole"? I bet like 25% of them.

After this opening, the story flashes forward to Harleen without any face paint and in regular, non-harlequin clothes. She seems upbeat and happy about living under the dome. While some people see it as a prison, she views it as a safe haven and proof that something greater is looking out for the people of Gotham. She's right! I'm glad at least one panda in the zoo sees it for the good it's accomplishing!

Is Vicki Vale still publishing new news stories? "LIFE UNDER DOME BORING AS HELL" "BATMAN CAUGHT IN INFLATABLE JOKER SCANDAL" "LOIS LANE STILL DEAD"

Harley is currently living with the police officer she nearly killed the day the dome arrived. She's also run out of medication so she's starting to hear The Joker again. But Louie the Cop fucks her and she forgets all about it.

Meanwhile, some common thugs are trying to steal Poison Ivy's garden. What is it with her garden? Everybody wants a piece of it. One of the thugs mentions that she no longer has her powers so she's just another common crook. But she still has her botanical know-how! So she can still create all of her special concoctions that blew minds and hypnotized people with kisses and poisoned them with a touch. It just takes a little more work than secreting that shit out of her skin, right?

I guess Pamela is less interested in mixing chemicals than just growing plants because, once again, she needs rescuing. This time Catwoman saves her garden. During the fight, Planet Brainiac gets on the loudspeaker and informs Gotham that they need some champions to fight for their city. So that means Pamela's garden was attacked by The Penguin during the day and then later that night by these thugs, if I've got my timeline straight. Harley mentions earlier that there are always strawberries available so why is everybody after Pamela's garden? I'm beginning to think that's just a creepy euphemism and everybody is still being affected by Poison Ivy's pheromones.

Planet Brainiac informs the populace that one of the main match-ups is Harley Quinn versus Captain Carrot! Cartoon physics versus cartoon physics! This outta be good! Too bad Catwoman and Poison Ivy don't exactly have much faith in their girl.

Batman and Robin wear capes and they don't fucking fly! I think wearing a cape just indicates a hero's penchant for feeling fancy. Also, I'm fairly certain Nightwing can do a perfect Harley imitation.

Catwoman and Poison Ivy pay Harley a visit to make sure she's completely insane again so that she can beat Captain Carrot at his own game. Although the rabbit almost always beats the hunter so they need to come up with a better plan than the usual cartoon plan that just winds up with the non-bunny shooting themselves in the face.

Convergence: Harley Quinn #1 Rating: Who's the asshole at DC Comics that thought this match-up would be awesome, hunh?! I get the joke! Hell, I mentioned it when I speculated on Harley maybe having cartoon physics powers that she lost because of the dome. But now who am I supposed to root for?! I can't root against Captain Carrot! Although we all know Captain Carrot never really had a chance to beat everybody else in Multiversal Thunderdome. And anyway, a fairly normal version of him already exists in The New 52. So who needs the old one anyway? I guess anybody who can't get enough puns in their lives.