The Sin Eater's secret identity is Shaggy?
Last issue, The Phantom Stranger was destroyed by the Angel Zauriel. So I'm a bit unclear as to why there's a new issue!
I just glanced at this advert as I opened the comic book and got excited! I thought DC was producing a Spectre television series for a second. Now I'm disappointed. Just Green Arrow.
Me, every morning from now on for the rest of my life: "Boy! I sure had a good night's cessation of existence!"
Anyway, the comic book must go on with the title character, so The Phantom Stranger finds himself back in his old home with The Terrier. The fucking Terrier. The one that speaks just as much nonsense as The Phantom Stranger.
How the fuck are you The Knower of All Things if you don't know something? You need a new nickname. How about "The Stupidest Motherfucking Dog of All Stupid Motherfucking Dogs (and That's Saying Something)"?
Meanwhile Sin Eater and his Dog, Natas, are hanging out in The Stranger's backyard being creepy assholes. Although, technically, this was his yard first. So maybe he's just being a nostalgic creep.
If my head were constantly on fire, the last thing I would do is make jokes about it. I'd definitely murder anybody that made any to my flaming face.
Chris "Hope" Esperanza decides he needs to confront The Phantom Stranger to find out some answers. Or to be paid for his job. Is a babysitter still entitled to his pay if the kids are butchered under his care? I know Doom Bunny still had to pay the vet when his dog died under anesthesia getting his teeth cleaned. I think he did get half off though.
The Phantom Stranger tries to get rid of Chris "Cousin Oliver" Esperanza but the kid has a weird ability to cling close to The Stranger's ass even when The Stranger teleports about. It looks like The Phantom Stranger has a sidekick now, whether he wanted one or not. They travel together to visit Terrance Thirteen only to find he's slit his wrists in the tub.
Why do you have to sexualize suicide, DC Comics?
The Strange Babysitter rushes in, grabs Terrance Thirteen by the wrists, and brings him back to life! Oh, no wonder he's not naked. I'm almost certain that if I were naked and suddenly brought back from the edge of death, I'd ejaculate all over my rescuer. Hmm. I think I just wrote a pornographic film! "The Pre-Ejaculator Re-Animator."
The Phantom Stranger and his Sidekick do some paranormal investigations and discover that The Question was behind Terrance Thirteen's murder attempt of The Phantom Stranger. They clean up Terrance and everybody sits around waiting for the Chinese to arrive.
Or not. Why don't characters in comic books eat more often?
The Phantom Stranger #12 Rating: +1 Ranking. I can already see how this comic is going to play out! Eventually, the fate of the universe will be at the mercy of a dogfight. Dog versus Natas! Winner take all! If the fight isn't broken up by the cops before a winner can be determined.