The Flash #13

Wasn't the Gorilla Warfare title already used? Like a million times? Can we please lay this pun to rest?

The Flash had just been defeated by his Rogue's Gallery when an army of monkeys in pods dropped out of the sky to take over Central City. It was at that moment that the Rogue's Gallery began questioning the wisdom of their actions. Because when your city is suddenly invaded by hundreds of six hundred pound gorillas (unless they're heavier!), you really want the guy that can defeat them all in the time it takes to tell one monkey joke conscious.

But the big monkey fight can wait since this issue begins with a flashback scene from ten years ago.

The slow down and take your time line was so good, it had to be used two issues in a row.

And that was all that needed to be said about the past. It seems like a pretty weak moment. Maybe it was done to get Barry's mother's slow down advice into the normal run since that advice was given to him in the Zero Issue. Also Darryl's role as Barry's father figure was highlighted in the Zero Issue as well. So maybe this moment was mainly to get some of the main Zero Issue points across to the not very loyal Flash readers that skipped the Zero Issue.

And then two minutes from ten years later, Patty breaks into Darryl's office to declare that Barry is alive! Her new buddy Turbine told her all about it. Turbine also seems to know a secret about Captain Darryl! But then their two minutes are up and it's exactly ten years after the initial scene and the monkeys come crashing down into Central City.

How is Weather Wizard going to wake him up? Blast him with lightning?

Oh, turns out he just douses him with water. I've always figured the best way to bring someone back to consciousness after a concussion was with water. Or maybe a slap to the face. It probably works because The Flash's speedy system has already healed himself and then the water brings him around. It's all very comic book scientific. But enough with the unbelievable bullshit the writers are trying to pass off on the readers. Let's get to the talking monkeys!

The Rogues don't seem to be too keen on talking monkeys, so they try to retreat while The Flash deals with them. But seeing as how an army of monkeys landed all around them, they're forced to take part in the monkey business.

Where are all the good monkey puns? I at least expect a no more monkeying around comment at some point.

The Flash has trouble beating up the gorillas because these are the special kind of gorillas that were born out of the Speed Force. So they are quicker and able to react to The Flash no matter how fast he goes. Plus there are a lot of them. And they smell bad. Luckily he's got the Rogues to help him out for awhile. But just for awhile! As soon as the tide turns and The Flash has the upper hand against the apes, I'm sure they'll switch sides again. And for some of them, it doesn't even take that long. The Trickster has decided to strike up a deal with Grodd. But the partnership doesn't go anywhere past the handshake.

Hopefully that was just a trick arm.

Grodd is up to something. He sneaks off to look for something powerful he feels within the city while his ape army distract The Flash.

Which they don't do for long.

But apparently they do it for long enough because when The Flash finally rushes off to find Grodd, he discovers Grodd looking a lot like Mr. Hyde from Moore's League of Extraordinary Gentlemen.

I have no idea what happened here. But it looks like he got a little bit of speed force in him.

The Flash #13 Rating: No change. Manapul's art seemed a bit rushed and sketchy throughout the issue. The issue itself was mostly just a big battle against talking monkeys. And while the Trickster getting his arm torn off was a nice surprise, the fact that this was another fucking comic book called "Gorilla Warfare" erodes any good feelings I had toward the issue. I wish I could remember which other comic in The New 52 was called Gorilla Warfare so I could link to it and my feeble research on that pun being used throughout comic book history. Oh well!