Wednesday, March 22, 2017

The Fall and Rise of Captain Atom #3


Tragedy! I don't mean the death of Captain Atom's wife. I mean the shape his ass is in.

• Captain Atom has returned to the year 2017. He'll probably meet his seventeen year old son this issue. Luckily he can't create a time paradox by accidentally causing his son to fall in love with him because this is the present. Time paradoxes can only happen in the past, for some reason.

• This issue is called "Back to the Future." I feel like Cary Bates may have ripped off that title from somewhere.

• Dr. Megala has been waiting for Captain Atom to return. He's been pining away in his wheelchair, slowly falling apart. Although the guy talking to Captain Atom through the drone doesn't look like a decrepit old man at all. Maybe that's because Captain Atom left The New 52 universe and arrived back in the Rebirth Universe. That should explain everything.

• Captain Atom discovers his wife died seven years ago. I probably didn't have to mention that since it's right there on the cover.

• The most important thing to change since Captain Atom returned is that he can transform himself into a normal person. That's always a plus when you're a superhero. It's tough writing a character who can't look human. Or one that doesn't look human and can't talk! Remember Skitters from Teen Titans? She sure didn't last long! When she was normal, she couldn't do anything. But then to become interesting and transform into Skitters, she had to spin a cocoon which took like a whole day. When she emerged, she was now a superhero but she couldn't communicate and was super gross and nobody gave a shit about her. What a terrible character.

• Dr. Megala and General Eiling test out Captain Atom's new powers and discover he's the most powerful hero to ever grace the DC Universe. I think. He's offered a job working with the government but turns it down. But since the offer wasn't really an offer and more like one of those "Do it or we'll ruin your life" things, Captain Atom will probably change his mind. Especially when he discovers he has a seventeen year old son. That's reason enough to not have his life ruined, I guess. I'd rather go to jail for three counts of manslaughter than have to pretend I'm interested in some seventeen year old stranger who just happens to share my DNA.

The Ranking!
No change! It's kind of boring but I expected that from a Captain Atom comic book.

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