Friday, October 20, 2017

New Titans #99

I was so disappointed when I realized Speedy just changed his name.

Monsieur Mallah and the Brain haven't fucked once yet since they appeared in this comic book which should have been a clue that they weren't who they seemed. Since we last saw them in Doom Patrol, they declared their love for each other and then blew up. You would think if they survived the explosion, they wouldn't be taking life for granted. They'd be holed up in some little bed and breakfast in Maine living on room service and gorilla semen. It turns out Rita Farr isn't who she seems either! Surprise!

The bigger surprise is that the readers don't immediately find out who they actually are. Is that a surprise? That's actually more like par for the comic book.

Some other stuff happens and then Dick asks Kory to marry him. She's all, "Well, now that you've asked that question, I'll instantly stop being angry that Mirage raped you. I won't ever mention it again, you know, how I was hurt that you were raped. So when's the big day? In like six, seven months? Or, you know, what about next issue?"

New Titans #99 Rating: People have asked me how I could hate Nightwing because they only know him from the last decade or so and from DC's cartoons. But this issue is a good example of what an asshole he is. He threatens to beat up just about everybody he talks and his hair is terrible. In fact, each one of these ninety-nine issues is testimonial on how terrible a character Dick Grayson was in the eighties and most of the nineties. I guess it wasn't until somebody pried the character out of Marv Wolfman's cold, dead hands that he became interesting. To clarify, Marv Wolfman didn't die before somebody else wrote Dick Grayson. It's just that Marv Wolfman has the hands of corpse.

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