Monday, October 15, 2012

Frankenstein, Agent of SHADE #13

Why is the Doctor so interested in Frank's crotch?

Frankenstein is a big dead corpse thing and yet The Rot has no power over him. That means the best way to defeat The Rot is to reanimate it and make it undead with its own consciousness so that it begins to love romantic poetry and hate mean things. I think the next best way to defeat The Rot is to simply eat it or feed it to worms and then put The Rot worm poo in your garden. Which, technically, is still sort of eating it.

Frankenstein is still in the Leviathan's Graveyard deep beneath the sea when Father Time begins pleading with him for help. SHADE Headquarters is falling apart around Father Time for some reason. Maybe it flew into the blades of a fan. Frankenstein doesn't seem too terribly interested in helping Father Time at the moment. How many times does Frankenstein have to realize he's been manipulated, abused, or betrayed by SHADE before he just fucking walks away like his wife did? Sadist's Hegemony Affects Dead Egos.

Father Time's communication is suddenly cut off and the army of ex-SHADE employees gathered around Frankenstein begin morphing into Rotlings. And then Frankenstein's father returns.

I guess Frank didn't know his own strength. He did kill Victor back in the Amazon.

Victor tells his story of being a corpse on the banks of the Amazon. He became food for both plants and animals. To his dead mind, this became a struggle to between The Red and The Green fighting for his allegiance. Instead of being a good decaying morsel, he rebelled against providing sustenance to these two weak kingdoms. Instead he aligned with The Rot because he's just one of those guys who wants to see the world burp. Err. Something like that.

Why keep the Soulgrinder? Because it is a weapon that can be used against The Rot like I surmised?

Victor ends his talk with Frank with this: "I could tear the world down around you! And leave you alone on this Earth!" See?! Just like I said with that burp thing! This also means Frank must be wandering around Rotworld like Mad Max except with no children's tribe to find or man in a plane or gas hoarding jerk-faces or private dancer Thunderdome owners. Just himself and a bunch of disfigured, recently dead super heroes.

Frankenstein and Khalis and Nina from the Black Lagoon and the last surviving SHADE ex-employees escape the Graveyard via the newly resurrected Leviathan (thanks to Khalis!). After escaping, Frankenstein is carried away by a flock of condors singing something about their mother being proud of them. Seems the condors are agents of The Red and they need a new hero since Animal Man has just disappeared. They figure why not go with the guy who is somehow immune to The Rot! They drop him in Metropolis to fight The Rot infection going on there.

In Metropolis, Frank fights The Rot for a few pages before running into Velcoro, the Vampire Kid.

Ignoring all of the times I guess at plot points and am wrong, I'm 100% at guessing plot points!

Velcoro's final news for Frankenstein before the issue ends is that Victor destroyed The Ant Farm and everybody within it. This comic kind of throws a wrench in the Buddy and Alec's Rotworld is some kind of simulation. Except Frank must now somehow be involved in that simulation or else the rest of the New 52's comics would all revolve around dead superheroes for the next few months instead of having big crisis crossovers of their own against The Joker and The Borg Lanterns and Bizarro. Or whoever the shirtless guy with the scarification Superman symbol on his chest is over in the pages of the Super-Family. I guess if I would read the fucking solicits like that Anonymous guy criticized me for not doing, I'd know! Fuck, why am I even reading the comics? I should just read the solicits! It'd be a lot cheaper and I'd know what's happening before all of those stupid jerks that merely read the comics each month to enjoy the story and be entertained and surprised!

Frankenstein Agent of S.H.A.D.E. #13 Rating: +1 Ranking. This issue fits seamlessly into Frank's current story. He's a natural to be part of this Rotworld thing. So far, two out of the four big crossover events are good: Rotworld and Death of the Family. The Third Army is just barely getting started even though it's had tons of build up. Unlike Death of the Family which came out of the gate at a fucking sprint. And I haven't read any of the Superman crossover event yet, so I can't judge that one accurately. Except two of the three writers on the crossover have yet to impress me, so I don't have high hopes for it.

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