"To prove your innocence, Sinestro, you must shit your pants in front of us all!" -- That one Guardian with a shit fetish
It's weird that the Guardians hold trials. Yes, I'm suggesting they abuse their power and simply punish who they want to punish whenever they want to punish them. They probably feel guilty and just as much to blame for what happened to Korugar since they allowed Sinestro's Eddie Haskell put-on to dupe them for so many years. Which means this isn't just the trial of Sinestro; it's the trial of The Guardians as well! It's also, if you've been following along, the trial of Hal Jordan. Not just because he was also arrested by the Fists of the Guardians but because he needs to learn about arrogance and pride and realize that he deserved the 90 days in prison for the stupid shit he pulled on Earth. If it takes the downfall of the greatest Green Lantern in history for Hal Jordan to learn the simplest lesson then sorry, Sinestro, but you've got to go. There's only one actually important character in this series and that's Guy Gardner. I mean Hal Jordan.
Uh oh. Somebody's having a Hal Jordan moment.
Hopefully Hal Jordan begins to see how arrogant and awful he sounds when he complains to Guy and Carol and Willie and anybody else who will listen to him say, "Punishment? PUNISHMENT?! But I did the right thing and turned myself in for drink driving and crippling a friend! Isn't acknowledgment of my error without the court's coercion enough payment for my non-intentional crimes? I mean, sure, I intentionally got behind the wheel to operate a motor vehicle while under the influence of alcohol endangering the lives of everybody in the car with me and everybody without. But, you know, 90 days?!" Hopefully Sinestro won't make Hal's same mistake and go to trial without a lawyer.
Sinestro resists galactic arrest but is chased down by the Fists of the Guardians and ultimately humiliated in this panel that isn't a metaphor for anything because sometimes a man lying in piss-colored detritus lamenting the loss of what makes him a Green Lantern is just a man lying in piss-colored detritus lamenting the loss of what makes him a Green Lantern.
Sinestro resists galactic arrest but is chased down by the Fists of the Guardians and ultimately humiliated in this panel that isn't a metaphor for anything because sometimes a man lying in piss-colored detritus lamenting the loss of what makes him a Green Lantern is just a man lying in piss-colored detritus lamenting the loss of what makes him a Green Lantern.
Thankfully, I've never bottomed this hard.
I have had low points in my life but they were all brought about by existential dread and the ennui that comes with the realization that, even though it seems unfairly short, humans live way too long. Maybe it would be more exciting if I had at least one story where I was chased by the cops until I found myself trapped and covered in my own piss while realizing that everything that made me the man I was was a lie and, ultimately, now lost to me. I still probably wouldn't go to AA though.
Hal Jordan, meanwhile, does the right thing and tells the Fists of the Guardians that he'll accept the court summons, no need for a warrant or a chase that ends in a humiliating public loss of manhood. Guy just stands by aghast and says, "Who were those creatures in the fabulous outfits?!"
Green Lantern ends the riot and confronts the warden about the terrible conditions of this prison. Were there terrible conditions or was Hal just experiencing normal prison conditions? Sure, some guy got stabbed and the guards walk around with the keys to the cells on them and guns easily taken by the prisoners. But are those, technically, "conditions" of the prison? They just seem like really stupid mistakes! I can't even suggest the food was bad because remember that seen where Willie the Snitch was getting pie for breakfast?! I want to go to prison!
Hal's still in trouble as they investigate where he disappeared for two days so he decides he's going to remain in jail from now on. That's an easy decision to make since the guy who kept forcing him out of his cell at night just got space arrested. But just as Hal finishes the declaration that he'll stay and do his time like a normal person, the Guardians teleport him to Oa for the trial. It's a good thing Guy Gardner saw all the Green Lantern space shenanigans Hal was involved with so he can go to bat for him when they prison officials try to slap more time on Hal for riots and jail breaks and tormenting the Dick Sucker Duo.
Hal discovers he's not on trial even if the Fists claimed he was under arrest. Hal is just a witness.
Hal Jordan, meanwhile, does the right thing and tells the Fists of the Guardians that he'll accept the court summons, no need for a warrant or a chase that ends in a humiliating public loss of manhood. Guy just stands by aghast and says, "Who were those creatures in the fabulous outfits?!"
Green Lantern ends the riot and confronts the warden about the terrible conditions of this prison. Were there terrible conditions or was Hal just experiencing normal prison conditions? Sure, some guy got stabbed and the guards walk around with the keys to the cells on them and guns easily taken by the prisoners. But are those, technically, "conditions" of the prison? They just seem like really stupid mistakes! I can't even suggest the food was bad because remember that seen where Willie the Snitch was getting pie for breakfast?! I want to go to prison!
Hal's still in trouble as they investigate where he disappeared for two days so he decides he's going to remain in jail from now on. That's an easy decision to make since the guy who kept forcing him out of his cell at night just got space arrested. But just as Hal finishes the declaration that he'll stay and do his time like a normal person, the Guardians teleport him to Oa for the trial. It's a good thing Guy Gardner saw all the Green Lantern space shenanigans Hal was involved with so he can go to bat for him when they prison officials try to slap more time on Hal for riots and jail breaks and tormenting the Dick Sucker Duo.
Hal discovers he's not on trial even if the Fists claimed he was under arrest. Hal is just a witness.
Jordan attempting to get his testimony thrown out for contempt with this scalding burn of the Guardians themselves.
Sinestro doesn't know that you're not supposed to lead the witness so basically tells Jordan everything he wants him to say. That doesn't go so great since as soon as Jordan is questioned by Tomar, he's all, "I don't know if Sinestro was doing a good job or not, what with me being an inexperienced Green Lantern and all, but the entire planet was revolting against him so, maybe, he was just, I don't know, average?"
Hal Jordan's testimony isn't enough to convict Sinestro of being a huge prude and fascist (redundant?), so Tomar calls Katma-Tui to the stand. Seems to me that the leader of the revolution against Sinestro's rule will probably be quite hostile to the defendant. Do we even need her testimony? I'm sure she'll say, "Sinestro was a dick and we all hated him and that's why we hired the Khund to help overthrow the stupid bastard." Then Sinestro will yell, "Order! Order in the court! Order! I love order! ORDER!"
I was going to type that Sinestro yelled, "Objection!", but then remembered he loves yelling "Order!" so my courtroom drama kind of fell apart and didn't make as much sense as it should have.
Hal Jordan's testimony isn't enough to convict Sinestro of being a huge prude and fascist (redundant?), so Tomar calls Katma-Tui to the stand. Seems to me that the leader of the revolution against Sinestro's rule will probably be quite hostile to the defendant. Do we even need her testimony? I'm sure she'll say, "Sinestro was a dick and we all hated him and that's why we hired the Khund to help overthrow the stupid bastard." Then Sinestro will yell, "Order! Order in the court! Order! I love order! ORDER!"
I was going to type that Sinestro yelled, "Objection!", but then remembered he loves yelling "Order!" so my courtroom drama kind of fell apart and didn't make as much sense as it should have.
Unluckily for readers like me who love to see alien titties, Katma-Tui wasn't in the shower when the Guardians teleported her into court.
The court takes a minor recess while Katma-Tui vomits all over the courtroom and then screams at them for ten minutes for this breech of her freedom and individuality and how they're exactly what's wrong with the entire universe and why monsters like Sinestro exist to torment others. They nod their gigantic heads and disregard everything she says before getting back to the trial.
Why is she going so easy on him? Does she have a crush on him?!
I apologize for that last caption. Sometimes my inner man takes over and I spray sexism all over the walls. What it really sounds like is that Katma is terrified by this entire process. Who are these beings that have such control over the lives of the people of Korugar but have no actual skin in the planet and its evolution? Who would want to find out that they're basically ants in an ant farm being manipulated by some goofy, grinning, massive-headed blue boys and their space cop force? Katma would probably love to say, "I hope he rots in Space Hell and all of you with him!" But what can she do? They just teleported her right out of her home just before she was going to hop in the shower! What can she do against wildly powerful forces like this?
Too bad John Stewart wasn't a Green Lantern yet. This trial could use fifteen panels of somebody quoting philosophers and humanists.
Sinestro's cross-examination of Katma-Tui is surprising.
Too bad John Stewart wasn't a Green Lantern yet. This trial could use fifteen panels of somebody quoting philosophers and humanists.
Sinestro's cross-examination of Katma-Tui is surprising.
Fuck. FUCK. Why am I tearing up at this bullshit?!
Sinestro saying he's all out of questions is hilarious because he's only really had one question so far: "Chaos?! CHAOS?! CHAOS!"
Also, I'm kind of in love with Katma-Tui after M.D. Bright's panels on the above page.
Sinestro, looking at Katma-Tui, seeing her as he saw her even when he was deluded by the thought of absolute order, perceiving in her what he knows the Green Lantern Corps could be, and should be, he simply gives up. He fucked up. It would perhaps not be amiss to point out that Sinestro had always tried to be a good Green Lantern. He had tried to do the things his GUARDIANS and his SECTOR, and most of all his PEOPLE, had asked or expected of him. He would have died for them, if that had been required. He had never wanted to enslave anybody. He had been struck by something, possibly destiny, or fate, or only a degenerative mental illness called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Free will was not a factor.
Who needs Artificial Intelligence to plagiarize when you have the last page of Stephen King's Cujo burned into your memory for moments like this!
Anyway, Sinestro is convicted of being a huge douchebag and banished to the anti-matter dimension of Qward where he will never again cause anybody any problems and the universe will be safe from him until the end of its days.
Also, I'm kind of in love with Katma-Tui after M.D. Bright's panels on the above page.
Sinestro, looking at Katma-Tui, seeing her as he saw her even when he was deluded by the thought of absolute order, perceiving in her what he knows the Green Lantern Corps could be, and should be, he simply gives up. He fucked up. It would perhaps not be amiss to point out that Sinestro had always tried to be a good Green Lantern. He had tried to do the things his GUARDIANS and his SECTOR, and most of all his PEOPLE, had asked or expected of him. He would have died for them, if that had been required. He had never wanted to enslave anybody. He had been struck by something, possibly destiny, or fate, or only a degenerative mental illness called Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. Free will was not a factor.
Who needs Artificial Intelligence to plagiarize when you have the last page of Stephen King's Cujo burned into your memory for moments like this!
Anyway, Sinestro is convicted of being a huge douchebag and banished to the anti-matter dimension of Qward where he will never again cause anybody any problems and the universe will be safe from him until the end of its days.
Every right wing Nazi on Twitter has a post that sounds just like this.
With Sinestro banished, his old job is given to Katma-Tui. She argues against it at first but then the Guardians are all, "Do you know anybody else who should manage you and your planet?" She smartly takes up the ring at that point because one thing I learned before owning my own business is that you never pass up on the management job even if you don't want the responsibility because the people who get offered the job after you will make your life a living hellscape.
The trial ends and Hal Jordan is returned to prison, hopefully with an attitude adjustment.
The story skips to the end of Hal's sentence, probably because he stopped complaining and so there was no story to follow. Guy sees him out of prison while letting Hal know that he's going to become a physical education teacher and hopefully stop going into crazy rages. Eventually Guy becomes a Red Lantern so we know that's never going to happen. But Hal walks out of prison with a letter handed to him from Guy that reads, "Your secret is safe with me!" It's signed Willie the Snitch so, you know, is it? Carol picks Hal up and hugs him and doesn't offer to have his baby yet. The end!
Emerald Dawn II #6 Rating: A. The story ends how I was hoping it would end although it doesn't make a big deal out of it. Upon seeing the way Sinestro reacted to his punishment after Sinestro felt he was throwing himself at the mercy of the court and getting screwed anyway, Hal goes back to prison, does his time, and stops whining about it. The only thing I wish had been different was Sinestro's declaration that he's going to become pure chaos. I get that he has to act up because it mirrors Hal's reaction at the beginning. But he should just be upset about the banishment. I guess we're supposed to believe that Sinestro's version of order has always been pure chaos and now he's only realizing that and embracing it. But I sincerely think he didn't know how to institute order like a regular person due to his obvious Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I would have rather seen him upset about the banishment but understanding that it was to keep order. And then only because he was in the Anti-Matter Universe would his order turn topsy-turvy and become an obsession with chaos. But, you know, even then, every time Sinestro returns, he often thinks he's the hero of the story. Maybe he needed a brief mental break to explain his years of just being a plain old anti-Green-Lantern villain. Anyway, I'm glad I'm through with Green Lantern comics for now and happy it ended on a pretty high note. That scene where Sinestro has to go face-to-face with Katma and can't argue against her because of everything he saw and sees in her? Pretty fucking good scene, that.
The trial ends and Hal Jordan is returned to prison, hopefully with an attitude adjustment.
The story skips to the end of Hal's sentence, probably because he stopped complaining and so there was no story to follow. Guy sees him out of prison while letting Hal know that he's going to become a physical education teacher and hopefully stop going into crazy rages. Eventually Guy becomes a Red Lantern so we know that's never going to happen. But Hal walks out of prison with a letter handed to him from Guy that reads, "Your secret is safe with me!" It's signed Willie the Snitch so, you know, is it? Carol picks Hal up and hugs him and doesn't offer to have his baby yet. The end!
Emerald Dawn II #6 Rating: A. The story ends how I was hoping it would end although it doesn't make a big deal out of it. Upon seeing the way Sinestro reacted to his punishment after Sinestro felt he was throwing himself at the mercy of the court and getting screwed anyway, Hal goes back to prison, does his time, and stops whining about it. The only thing I wish had been different was Sinestro's declaration that he's going to become pure chaos. I get that he has to act up because it mirrors Hal's reaction at the beginning. But he should just be upset about the banishment. I guess we're supposed to believe that Sinestro's version of order has always been pure chaos and now he's only realizing that and embracing it. But I sincerely think he didn't know how to institute order like a regular person due to his obvious Obsessive Compulsive Disorder. I would have rather seen him upset about the banishment but understanding that it was to keep order. And then only because he was in the Anti-Matter Universe would his order turn topsy-turvy and become an obsession with chaos. But, you know, even then, every time Sinestro returns, he often thinks he's the hero of the story. Maybe he needed a brief mental break to explain his years of just being a plain old anti-Green-Lantern villain. Anyway, I'm glad I'm through with Green Lantern comics for now and happy it ended on a pretty high note. That scene where Sinestro has to go face-to-face with Katma and can't argue against her because of everything he saw and sees in her? Pretty fucking good scene, that.
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