Edge of Oblivion #6

And they all died happily ever after.

The Review!
This final issue was a good issue. Each subsequent issue of this series just got better and better as it dragged itself further and further away from the terrible reason it exists, Lost Army. My highlights in this issue were Simon Baz saying a thing that a lot of people really need to hear this week, Guy Gardner being the heroic Guy Gardner who can sometimes be an ass but never lets that interfere with rescuing the innocent and helpless, and Xrill's declaration of love for 2-6-8-1-7-9-5.

The Commentary!
Last issue ended with the revelation that Ausras and Dismas were actually Langoliers. Their job is to finish eating the last of Relic's universe so that the next universe has room to come into existence. It's quite an important job on a omniversal scale! Which doesn't make it surprising when the Green Lanterns decide to stop them. Why are they messing with the natural ebb and flow of cosmic life? This is like when Swamp Thing tried to destroy the Rot! If he got rid of rotting things, where would the Green most of their nutrients?! What about the Grey? Without the Rot, the Red's herbivores would never die and consume what's left of the Green! It's all part of the natural system and while everybody can battle to maintain balance, nobody can outright defeat anybody else or everybody dies.

You might be thinking, "But Tess? Why don't you post naked pictures of yourself?" Or you might have actually been paying attention to what you were reading in the previous paragraph instead of fantasizing about seeing me naked and thought, "But Tess! You don't know if the Blackest Knights are part of the cosmic cycle or just parasites bringing this universe to an early end!" Sure, I don't know that! But I'm going to assume it so that I can write about how terrible the Green Lanterns are at their job! They're going to destroy their own universe by defeating the Cosmic Langoliers who are helping to bring the Lanterns' universe into existence! Probably!

You know who hasn't been seen in five or six issues? Relic and Krona! Hopefully they're finding a way back to the DC Universe and not just sucking each others' dicks. I mean, I hope that for the sake of the Green Lantern Corps! If I were hoping for my own entertainment, I would be crossing my fingers for the dick sucking thing.

You know who else we haven't seen for awhile? B'dg and Arisia! Oh, wait. Never mind.

The Oliver Twist of Green Lanterns is the first killed in the battle (I mean, the first acknowledged. Some others may have been swallowed whole). After her faceplant into the planet's surface, her ring rushed off to find Sector 2619 (which totally doesn't exist). But the ring believed it existed for some unfathomable reason, so Simon Baz decided to follow it to whatever wormhole it sensed which led to the DC Universe. My bet the wormhole is the hole at the end of Krona's worm, if you get my dirty meaning!

Eventually, Simon Baz figures out where the rings are going.

I'm going to start referring to my asshole as a tear in space. "Doctor! Your finger's in another dimension!" Other things that have gone into that other dimension: my own finger and the tip of a smooth black cylindrical vibrator.

Simon Baz decides to head into the breach and try to report back to Guy what's on the other side. As he does this, he gives an example of what I appreciate about his character.

In Green Lanterns Rebirth #1, Simon Baz is the guy Johns and Humphries express his hope that Jessica Cruz's ring was Guy's ring because Guy had died. They couldn't have missed the point of Simon Baz more. And Johns created him! I think.

Baz's reconnaissance doesn't go great. But since the space fissure is the only place left to go, the Green Lanterns decide to fly into it. But first they have to save the last city of Relic's universe. I suppose they'll stick it on Mogo and Mogo will become the setting for a Green Lantern: Mosaic Rebirth comic book? I hope?

Oh? A mosaic, you say?!

The Lanterns manage to get the Cosmic Langolies onto the surface of Mogo's new friend, the planet Perduron. She gets them in a continental bear hug and traps them in Relic's universe as it dies around them. The Lanterns, meanwhile, flee into the space fissure and escape. Probably. I mean, Simon Baz was in Green Lanterns Rebirth #1 and all.