Detective Comics #18

Let the month of sadness begin!

I wonder if these Requiem titles are all going to try to out sadden all of the other Requiem titles. Do you think there's a pool in the DC Offices trying to guess who can make the most nerds cry? Even though Artya, one of my readers, already told me he wept like fifteen toddlers watching a puppy drown when he read Batman and Robin, Batman and Robin would have been my guess as to the most emotional of the batch. I'm sure Scott Snyder's Batman will be pretty good too. But Tomasi has just been knocking the feels out of the park over in Batman and Robin. I wonder if I should get drunk to help deaden the pain while I read it?

I'm actually not too worried about being sad while reading Detective Comics. I don't know much about John Layman and he's fairly new to the Detective Comics scene. And the only way my miniscule brain knows how to interpret that is: "John Layman sucks at writing emotion." As you can see, I'd make a really horrible detective.

But you know what? Forget about that loser Robin! Detective Comics doesn't have time for all of that sentimental claptrap! It's time for a fucking face-off between Oswald Cobblepot and Ignatius Ogilvy! Penguin Death Match!

Batman is busy cleaning up Arkham after The Joker's madcap party filled with hilarious anecdotes and raucous laughter. So this story must take place before Robin took twenty too many bullets to the chest. Maybe. Batman Incorporated seems to take place in a "Grant Morrison" space. That means you can wedge it in anywhere in the timeline it seems to fit because no editor is going to tell Grant Morrison to change something he's written. And don't even get me started on trying to figure out when a Scott Lobdell story falls into the timeline! Being that Batman is constantly everywhere, it's just not an issue. I think readers have learned to look askance at the minutiae of Batman's timeline.

While cleaning up Arkham, Batman has to figure out what to do with The Penguin since he was hardly there of his own free will.

That Penguin has some gall! Although he does have a fucking point. He is not one of these loony birds.

Batman has to let The Penguin go because, after all, he's just a little fuck that mostly just hides in his Casino. If Batman wants him, he knows where to get him. The real problem is the prisoner that they notice is missing after all of this: Victor Zsasz. And Batman has no idea where to find that maniac.

And then the scene changes to a cemetery, so it turns out I was wrong about the timeline. Robin is currently on the wrong side of the worm eating.

How does the funeral work? Different dates to bury Robin and Damian? Nobody in Gotham is putting two and two together here? "Holy shit! Batman's sidekick and Bruce Wayne's son both dead! What a coinky-dink!"

So Batman is sad and Alfred can't help because there isn't enough tea in the world to help Batman's broken heart. Although there are many, many types of tea that can probably help Batman forget about it, at least for awhile.

Since Zsasz has escaped, Batman doesn't have time to pick on the Penguin and make his life hell. But that's okay, Batman, because Ogilvy is doing it for you. The Emperor Penguin has taken over all of The Penguin's assets. The Penguin's credit cards have been canceled, his house is under armed guard, and his cell phone service has been killed. So The Penguin is forced to participate in the most unbelievable panel so far in The New 52.

A working phone booth in Gotham City? Please.

The Penguin grabs his secret cache of umbrella guns and heads off to the casino to murder himself an Emperor Penguin. But apparently Batman is really pissed off at the Penguin because when he hears some people have been murdered in a Zsaszy way, Batman heads off to bust the penguin for trespassing and vandalism at the zoo.

Nice work, Batman! Personal vendetta complete! Now maybe you can capture Zsasz before he kills some people that won't help with one of your own personal agendas!

Batman's really being a dick to The Penguin. Sure, The Penguin is a mob boss that should be in prison. But fuck, Bats! He didn't kill Damian! You should at least go take out some anger on Zsasz. Now that guy deserves a good beating. Although if you were to hang about the Casino, you might run into him seeing as how he was being paid by Emperor Penguin to kill Penguin's lawyers.

So Emperor Penguin Ogilvy has done it. He's taken over the role of The Penguin and The Penguin is off to spend some time in Blackgate. Perfect! I never really liked The Penguin anyway and Ogilvy has become one of my favorite not-too-smart Gotham residents! And even though I keep thinking he's getting too smart for his own good which, according to Ogilvy, is always the downfall of thugs in Gotham, I guess going after the Penguin was actually a pretty stupid move. Which is why he pulled it off! If it were a smart move, he would have failed! Or something. You know. According to Ogilvy's philosophy. But now Ogilvy is really getting stupid because he thinks the only person he needs to take down now is Batman! And he's going to use Langstrom's Man-bat Serum to do it! Oh Ogilvy. The only good way to deal with Batman is to stay off his fucking radar. It was nice knowing you!

Right. How many times am I going to say that to Ogilvy? This guy has pulled off some seriously ridiculous crap so far. And with a stupidly derivative name, too! I like this chump!

The back-up story is about Ogilvy hiring Zsasz to hurt The Penguin. Zsasz has a bit of a beef against The Penguin since it was at The Penguin's casino where Zsasz lost everything. I should pull out my Shadow of the Bat #1-4 and reread Zsasz's Preboot origin. Unless that wasn't his origin. I believe it was his first appearance though. Anyway, not much to say about it. Zsasz is on the loose. To be continued.

Detective Comics #18 Rating: No change. I don't think my mind was entirely on this comic while reading it. I walked away about three or four times to do other things. So it might have been better than I thought it was. Or not. It didn't have much sadness in it, that's for sure.