Detective Comics Annual #1

Why even ask such a ridiculous question on the front cover?

There's a big surprise plot twist on the opening page of the Detective Comics Annual! It begins with a splash page! Actually, that isn't a plot twist at all especially if you noticed that Tony S. Daniel wrote this comic. My guess is that a big double page splash will happen when I turn the page! And then after turning the pages a few more times, another double page splash! My prediction is that the first double page splash will have lots of bats in it if it is of Batman or lots of lightning if it is of Jeremiah Arkham or lots of masks if it is of Black Mask.

This might not be the place for it but I take back my predictions about the contents of the splash pages! I already forgot that Tony Daniel isn't doing the art for this book, he's merely writing it. So while he'll still probably write in all the double page spreads, maybe they'll be more dramatic than the way he usually uses them.

Commissioner Gordon is paying a visit to the Asylum to investigate the Black Mask's escape. While he's there, he finds Dr. Arkham talking to some bedsheets. I guess running an insane asylum can really wear on your sanity. It turns out that during The Night of the Owls, the Black Mask screwed with Arkham's version of reality so that Arkham never knew The Black Mask was gone. I thought maybe James Gordon escaped with the Black Mask but I think he escaped during The White Rabbit story arc. Maybe he escaped during the riot at the beginning of Batman #1. Or perhaps one of the other dozen riots that's occurred since then. Perhaps Arkham should make some adjustments to his security protocols and his background checks when hiring staff.

Meanwhile on the first double splash page of the comic book...

What do you think Mad Bull's plan was? Rob the carnival concession stands?

Look at Batman ride that bull! I've never ridden a real bull before but I have taken a shot at a mechanical bull. When I was twelve years old, my friend Bob and I made a pact that when we turned 21, we would go down to The Saddle Rack (a bar in San Jose) and ride their mechanical bull. That was the last I heard about that until the weekend I turned 21 when he reminded me of our pact at 12 years old and we went out and did it. It was fun and not scary at all. And my girlfriend at the time got me a Lobo t-shirt. That story wasn't as exciting as it probably should have been. One of us should have been thrown from the bull to land on the dance floor unharmed only to end up kicked to death by a passel of line dancing cowboys.

Batman and Mad Bull bust up the carnival for a bit. The Mad Bull screams something about being late, hits Batman with a Roller Coaster support beam, and rushes off to the Merry Go Round. What's with the "I'm late?" crap? Is this more Alice In Wonderland crap? I wonder if Batman wishes that book had never been written. The heads are missing from the Merry Go Round and this upsets the Mad Bull for some reason. Perhaps the jewels on the creatures were real? Whatever he wanted, Batman stops him by removing the Bull Mask. Oh darn! Another villian, like Goat Boy from Batman, Incorporated, who I thought was cool but is just another normal joe. Once the mask is removed, Mad Bull turns into a slobbering, staring dumby. Batman uses his supreme detective skills (because this is Detective Comics!) to determine that this has to be the work of The Mad Hatter! I mean, The Black Mask!

Oh no wait! I mean The Mad Hatter!

Okay so my joke answer was a little bit correct. The Mad Bull was being controlled by The Mad Hatter who was responsible for hiding the masks of the False Face Society while their leader, The Black Mask, was in Arkham! The Mad Hatter must have hid the masks on the Merry Go Round figures. It looks like The Mad Hatter was trying to get Mad Bull to get the masks but The Black Mask beat him to it. At least that's my guess from what Batman's revealed so far to Alfred.

Unless I've got that all wrong because I think that Dwarf with the club is The Mad Hatter. Who seems to be working with The Black Mask here. Maybe that's just a different short person. I'm sure Batman will explain it all in a few pages!

Oh yeah, that was Double Splash Page #2! The artist also crammed two small panels in the corner but that was probably against the wishes of Daniel's script. Two double splash pages is usually Tony's limit but this is an annual so I expect at least one more.

Okay, my guess was totally wrong so ignore it and start over! A guy named Edgar Dempsey was in charge of the masks when The Black Mask was put away. Instead of helping The Black Mask beat the charges, Dempsey double crossed him. Black Mask was put in Arkham and the other masks lost their power. The Society broke up. But Dempsey gave the masks to The Mad Hatter who is currently undercover as the dwarf. It's a whole double cross double con long con stingamachoo so that Mad Hatter can get his hands on The Black Mask. And even though it's all kind of confusing, Batman had it figured out as soon as he caught Mad Bull. Because he's a detective!

Third double splash page! And fuck the museum's glass roof! Bruce Wayne can do whatever he wants since he's a Double Platinum Gold Member!

Batman breaks up the fight for a second but then is thrown into a dinosaur skeleton while the mind control guys fight amongst themselves on yet another double splash page.

Fourth double splash page!

Batman swings in and knocks The Mad Hatter out by shoving his face into the ground as he kicks Black Mask in the face. The mask cracks and there's an explosion of white light. And then Batman may or may not have put the mask on. He doesn't remember anything after that moment. But The Black Mask ends up back in Arkham and the Black Mask's mask ends up in evidence in the Gotham Police Headquarters. The mask seems to hold power over anybody who tries it on, like an artifact in Dungeons and Dragons. If Batman was tempted to wear it in the museum then it must be a really strong magic lure. And if he did wear it, he'll now be tempted to break it out of evidence and use it in a later issue of Detective Comics. But as of now, this issue is over. Oh! One more thing...

"Oh, um, yeah! That Black Mask jerk came in through the overhead skylight. Shattered everything. All that stuff was broken by the time I got there. Also that building with the wall smashed in where Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum were found buried under a bookshelf? That was like that already as well."

Detective Comics Annual #1 Rating: No change because I don't change the ranking of a comic based on the quality of the Annual. Which is too bad because this is the best issue of Detective Comics yet! That somehow seems like a scam. Shouldn't the Annual be an example of the comic book series? Isn't it so that a customer can check out the series without getting too invested in the regular title? "Oh, I think I'll check out Detective Comics by picking up the annual. Hey! This story was really well put together! Maybe a bit heavy on the double splashes but Annuals have a lot more pages to fill, so I understand. I'm sure that's not how the regular comic is. But judging by this, I think I'll start reading Detective Comics! Maybe pick up the trade!" Later: "I'm sorely disappointed in my purchases!"