Thursday, September 20, 2012

Blue Beetle #0


This issue is going to be the origin story of the brain damaged Scarab lodged inside of Jaime Reyes. It was adapted from an organic creature that burrowed into its host's spine.


The weapon was developed by the Oppenheimer of Ankhegs.

Khaji-da was the initial prototype Scarab Bio-weapon. So Blue Beetle's Scarab isn't just brain damaged, it's also the first Scarab weapon ever developed. Which means the bug is probably filled with bugs. And technical glitches. And maybe even a soul!

So the Reach decide to test the scarab by sending it against a nearby planet. I guess the Scarab is similar to a Green Lantern Ring except it picks the host with the most sadistic tendencies.


Or perhaps a Green Lantern Ring would pick this host as well for its sense of righteous justice?

Khaji-da attaches to the young alien but it doesn't last long. She's able to use a psychic power to manipulate dark matter, giving it the shape of her dolls so that they can come to her rescue.


Add traumatized to its list of flaws.

And that's the origin of Lady Styx!

Blue Beetle #0 Rating: Oh, wait. That was the wrong origin. I'm not finished here. Okay, so the Scarab retreated back to its homeworld for repairs. It was a gigantic failure and if The Reach had been like most of the antagonists in the DC Universe, the Scarab would have been destroyed for its failure. Instead, it was repaired and sent back into battle.

Where it promptly met the Green Lantern that gave it brain damage and knocked it into Earth. Where it promptly crashed to the ground and was discovered by a member of the hidden tribe that tried to sacrifice the Suicide Squad. Where it promptly attached itself to the one they called Skywitness.


Whoops. Scanned the wrong page.



That's better. And almost exactly the same.

Khani-da was just as impotent back then as he is today with Jaime. Skywitness had total control and he used his new powers to chase a rival tribe back up north. He spared some of them and this tribe became the Aztecs. Skywitness was remembered in their legends as Quetzalcoatl! And that's the origin of Quetzalcoatl.

Blue Beetle #0 Rating: Wait, that wasn't the end? Two origins and the comic is still going? Sheesh. Let me check the cover. Okay, I only paid $2.99 for this issue and I've had double the amount of origins! What a deal!

Hundreds of years later, Skywitness had grown so old that even Khaji-da's Bug Doctor couldn't keep him alive anymore. Skywitness did not want the weapon falling into the wrong hands so he collapsed a pyramid on them both. But as the Scarab tried to teleport away, it accidentally teleported Skywitness instead. So the Scarab ended up buried beneath stone and Skywitness ended up who the fuck knows where. But I bet he'll return in a later issue! Or maybe he'll be a star in DC's Fourth Wave of comics. SKYWITNESS #1!


And then the Scarab recaps the first twelve issues.

The recapping of the issues eventually leads to the Justice League International Annual where Jamie was teleported across space and onto the Reach Homeworld. And as the Scarab's story catches up with the present as Jamie is plummeting to the planet's surface, Jamie meets Khaji-da's non-mentally handicapped brothers and sisters.


That Octopus Scarab is about to eat Jaime's ass. And who knows what other weird things with its tentacles.

Blue Beetle #0 Ranking: Good thing it had the two bonus origins since Khaji-da's Origin was just rehashed material.

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